Updated 18th June 2021.
You know when you meet someone for the first time, and it feels electric and amazing? Or when you are feeling magnetically drawn to someone you barely know?
You were sure that you were fated to meet and you feel a really deep connection with this person, even though you don’t really know them.
I had an encounter like that in my second year at University. It was an evening in June, I was getting ready to meet some friends at a cafe to have dinner and it suddenly struck me that tonight was an important night. I didn’t know why I thought that. There was an ‘atmosphere’ – when events surrounding your life feel charged with a strong energy and you can feel something building or about to happen.
I was about to meet someone who would be important to me over the next couple of years. The excited energy around meeting this person was like meeting a dear old friend after a very long time apart.
As soon as we met (by chance), we had so much in common and we understood one another. We maintained contact by email for two years and then in my final year at University we had a passionate relationship.
Maybe you’ve had an experience like that before as well.
- What are those connections?
- Is it that you knew that person in a past life?
- Is it your soulmate?
- How can you know if someone is your soulmate?
- How can you be this drawn to someone you barely know?
Lots of people ask these questions in readings.
They feel a deep and passionate connection like that to someone, they have no idea why and sometimes it can be disturbing, especially if they’re happily married or in a monogamous relationship.
I have learned from experience doing these readings that a lot of the time, that kind of encounter is not always a ‘soulmate’ – my definition of a soulmate here is someone we’re going to have a significant, usually long-term relationship with, as that’s what most of my clients are really asking when they ask those questions: ‘because I had an amazing connection with this person…does that mean we’re meant to be together?’
There are many kinds of soul connections we can have with people.
Soul-level Agreements and ‘Appointments’ (including ‘soulmates’)
Before we incarnate, we make ‘appointments’ and agreements with certain souls. Usually, we pick out the souls with whom we’ll have important relationships – both short-lived ones and long-term ones.
The reason why you make those soul-level agreements to meet up is because you want to exchange energy and teach each other a little something through your interaction, at a specific time in your life, or for a more prolonged period.
All souls exchange energy with one another. You have your special, unique energies that you’re exchanging in many areas of life – romantically, professionally and socially. Energies that clients have been dealing in that I’ve seen in the past include boldness, courage, compassion, strength, clarity, playfulness and innocence, to name a few. Most people aren’t conscious of what they’re actually bringing to others, but that doesn’t stop them dealing in the energies that they do.
So, what happens when you keep your soul-level ‘appointment’ with someone is that you two exchange energy. Maybe you teach that person something about compassion in the five minutes you spend together. It can happen so indirectly and subtly – maybe through something you say, maybe through your manner. Just by being you.
And perhaps in your encounter, they teach you something about playfulness and being carefree that takes your life or even just your mood in a different direction. You may remember the encounter for many years and it feels like a charged event because you REALLY needed and wanted that type of energy they showed up to give you (or should we say, that type of energy they showed up to AWAKEN in you.)
So, often when you have a strong connection like that with someone in person, whether it’s short-lived or long-lasting, you will have set up an ‘appointment’ to meet up in this life and impact one another in a certain way. And that strong connection and feeling of recognition reflects that fact.
Is that person a soulmate? It could be one soulmate. I say that because my experiences with reading for people show me that many people have more than one soulmate that they’re ‘meant’ to be with for a lifetime. For some people, it can be the case that there’s only one soulmate relationship but for most souls on a path of accelerated evolution, it tends to be more complex than that. The important question to ask is, do you and this person have a lot of energy to exchange with one another on a long-term basis in a way that serves you both? That’s a question that’s difficult to answer if you don’t know them well, but I find that a bit of time and your gut instinct can help you answer that.
You can also find out more about the type of connection you have with someone by consulting someone who can read your Akashic soul record or look into your astrology chart – such as the composite chart and also the synastry between you.
Do we tend to make soul-level agreements with people we’ve known in past lives?
It’s possible. Sometimes a soul will be very familiar to us because we’ve met before. We move in ‘soul families’. Your nearest and dearest kindred spirits, those we have a lot in common with, tend to be those who have agreed to incarnate with you and keep you company here. Of course, that is not their only role, but we are even pack-animals on a soul-level. We want the familiar and comforting energy of those we have known for a long time; those souls who can support us on our journey when we forget who we are and where we’ve come from.
Apart from the soul-level agreements, there are also unfulfilling attachments in relationships that can bring people together sometimes.
In those cases, you may feel drawn to someone, but not in a healthy way, even if you don’t realize it at the time. For those encounters, you will have no energy to exchange with the person.
When that occurs, it’s the case that these souls didn’t make a soul-level agreement to meet up in this lifetime. But they did make some kind of contract before then, usually in a past life, that is still tying them together.
For example, souls who promised one another five lifetimes ago that they would “always” be together in subsequent lifetimes can end up seeking one another out in this lifetime, even though they have no energy to exchange. Energetically, that can show in a reading as a negative contract – an energetically binding agreement to incarnate together lifetime after lifetime.
That contract can sometimes occur for couples who are happy together – and in that case, it often creates a feeling of obligation between them and so clearing it helps. But it can also be the reason why people who are learning nothing from one another are still together. They feel compelled to honour that contract, even if it’s not in their highest good.
And sometimes a contract like that can be one-sided. In those cases, you may feel a pull towards someone but they may feel indifferent towards you and that might be because the contract is still open on your side but they stopped honouring it some time ago.
By contrast, a positive connection will be one where there is a nice exchange of energy going on. (For example, you’re teaching someone courage and they’re teaching you compassion.) Often the energies you’re bringing will be quite different and complementary – like the yin and the yang energies.
Those are my thoughts and what I’ve learned on the subject of ‘soulmates’. Please leave a comment if you have anything to share on this subject and your experiences of these soul connections.
If you’re interested in learning about the unique combination of energies that you bring to others in relationships (and the unique influence you have in this world), you might be interested in my book The 22 Star Seed Groups.
Most of the people who visit my website are star seed souls (souls who spent their formative incarnations as a new soul in an environment that was not Planet Earth, and who bring a different perspective than most souls, as a result.) My book will help you to identify which group you belong to, and what that might mean about your soul’s purpose.
Further Reading & Resources:
Develop your intuitive abilities eCourse
Essential steps to develop your intuitive abilities & communicate with your Spirit Guides. Connect even if you never have before.
- The biggest myth about being intuitive.
- The 2 essential (but widely unknown) steps for intuitive development.
- How you personally are wired to receive guidance.
- The formula that more than two thousand of my students have used to develop their intuitive abilities.