Tag: Prosperity & Success

  • Are You Using the Law of Attraction as a Big Fat Procrastination Tool?

    Are You Using the Law of Attraction as a Big Fat Procrastination Tool?

    I wrote an article a few months ago saying that the Law of Attraction doesn’t always work.

    Some people who read Abraham-Hicks and believe in the Law of Attraction thought this was an idiotic thing to say and I got a couple of emails from people telling me so. It was like I was saying the law of gravity doesn’t work (for those people who believe that the Law of Attraction underlies everything).

    However…

    I’m still convinced that the Law of Attraction (the art of ‘attracting’ and allowing) is a much more complex phenomenon than it’s been presented as, in The Secret, even by Abraham-Hicks. I believe it is a real law. BUT I think it has “yes buts” and caveats. It’s not black and white.

    • Some goals require stubborn, persistent action, while other things happen effortlessly.
    • Attraction and action are required in varying doses depending on what you want to create (and depending on who you are and where you’re at).

    To illustrate this, I want to tell you about something I’ve noticed on my website.

    Successful Attracting

    It is to do with the timing of when people book sessions for a reading or for mentoring.

    When I have plenty of energy, and I feel like doing sessions, I get lots of people ordering. When my energy is waning and it’s time to take a break from sessions for a week, they begin to dry up even before I’ve noticed I’m tired.

    I get people booking sessions when I’m looking forward to doing them.

    I don’t get them when I’d rather not do them.

    It’s as if I have an invisible sign on my readings page that says ‘open for business’ or ‘closed for business’, even though I may write nothing on there.

    I don’t do any strategic marketing these days to encourage people to book sessions. I have a constant flow of people coming to my website through search engines. Those actions (which might be considered an act of marketing myself) do not occur and are not timed for when I would like to work with more people. In fact, I often do them when I’m not doing readings.

    It’s also not my waiting list. I get as many people booking when I have a wait time of two weeks, as I do when my wait time is a few days.

    So why do I get people ordering sessions only when I want them to?

    In the beginning, about two years ago, I’d maybe work with three clients a week when I wanted six. So I began to ask my Guides/the Universe/my Higher self to help me to work with a specific number of clients. And I’d get told what to do (marketing, etc) in order to work with all those people and attract those clients to my website.

    After a while, I kept requesting, but the flow of clients became steady and I didn’t need to do anything to encourage people to book sessions.

    And it’s been like that ever since – I ask, and I get. I ask to work with six clients and I get six. I ask them to put the brakes on and no-one books a session for a few days. This has been happening for two years. It seems I can directly control how many people I work with, as long as it matches my energy levels, simply by requesting it.

    If I didn’t believe in the Law of Attraction, I’d call it uncanny.

    One of the Abraham Hicks books is called Ask and It Is Given. That pretty much sums up the situation. I don’t have to do anything for it to happen. I just remain in the flow and it comes to me.

    So I believe in the Law of Attraction in this context.

    (And bear in mind that when I say the ‘Law of Attraction’ I’m referring to the act of ‘getting in the vortex’ and ‘attracting’ something; waiting for things to happen).

    Law of Attraction Distraction

    However…Here’s where I think the Law of Attraction teachings are an unhelpful distraction some of the time, and even cause procrastination:

    • Setting up your own business and turning it into a successful venture, or even just getting it off the ground.
    • Creating a successful career in any area.
    • Becoming financially abundant.

    I have seen this scenario a number of times.  Someone says to me:

    “I can’t seem to get moving in my new business.  Nothing is happening for me.  I visualize every day, I feel great, I feel aligned with my being.  I know it’ll happen soon.  Success is coming – my big break is coming – I can feel it.  I just need to get out of the way.”

    Four months later you speak to the person again.  They are working towards the same goals (but only in their head) and they’re in exactly the same place. They feel GREAT but nothing has happened.

    The reason?  It’s so obvious, isn’t it? They didn’t DO anything.  They took zero action.  Instead, they thought about it – lots.  They analyzed all the reasons why conditions weren’t ideal for taking action yet.  They trawled the web for astrology/numerology/anything which backed up their conviction that it wasn’t the optimum time for them to get started. And then they went back to feeling really good about what was in their vortex and procrastinating on some more Law of Attraction material.

    They liked their good emotional state so much, that they didn’t want to take some scary action and a step into unknown terrain, in order to make progress.  They were too scared and justified not taking action by telling themselves ‘it doesn’t feel right’ or ‘it wasn’t aligned’.

    These people are successful in maintaining an ‘alignment’ and feeling good, but it seems that it’s at the cost of anything actually happening. A desire to feel good all the time causes procrastination.

    Why some action is better than none

    Anything big – successful, noteworthy, abundant – requires big actions.  If you refuse to take action chronically after having studied the Law of Attraction because it doesn’t feel good, you’re using the ‘Law of Attraction’ as a big, fat procrastination tool.

    Most of the time I do something new – I feel bad about it and I get nervous. I am a pessimist. I am a perfectionist. I often have bleak expectations, it’s just the way I am made. I was afraid every time I clicked ‘publish’ on my first 30 blog posts. I was afraid when I brought out my course. I used to be afraid when I did readings for the first several months.  Doing things is scary.  Sometimes they feel like the wrong actions.

    In business (and in many areas of life), I believe it is better to take some action (even if it’s from a place of feeling bad) rather than take no action at all.  If you’ve been at a standstill for a while, and you’re not happy about it, throw something against the wall, see if it sticks.  It’ll get you moving again, and you soon realize whether it’s a direction you like – or not.  That sparks some other action and soon enough you’re on your way again.

    Following through with action to create change (even when you don’t necessarily feel great about it) works in business, and it works in other areas.

    Disclaimer

    Don’t get me wrong – there is a time for taking inspired action that feels great.  There’s a time for reading Abraham-Hicks and stuff like that (if you want to). There is a time for getting clear on what you want.  There is a time for asking yourself ‘Am I taking action that is aligned with my values?’.

    The Law of Attraction might send me a client a few hours after I request one.  It might make a compatible partner show up for you at exactly the right time.

    But the Law of Attraction alone will not create you a successful business, or a successful career, or a consistent, healthy income from your career (unless you win the lottery or you accidentally stumble into a reality TV show audition, get on the show, and become famous and adored for doing nothing).

    And so it’s a good idea to honestly ask yourself – am I any closer IN REAL TERMS to my goals than I was three months ago in spite of all my knowledge, reading and studying of the Law of Attraction? If not, then you’re using the Law of Attraction as procrastination.

    What I’m saying is that it’s good to distinguish between WHAT you can create through attraction alone, and what gets created through ACTION.  Perfect clients come to me at the right time through attraction (although it took a lot of work for me to build up a client base and become in demand as a psychic). The other aspects of my life usually require a lot of action.  Supporting myself financially requires a lot of action.

    Let’s Get Real

    I don’t think I have ever heard anyone’s Spirit Guides or Higher self say “Just sit back, relax, let that success, money and fame you want come to you.  It’s all on its way and it’s going to be great!”

    Instead, they tend to say things like:

    Dora has plenty of visions but hasn’t exercised her ‘taking action muscle’ in a while, so thinks it’s harder than it is to create these visions.

    Jim can’t decide and won’t do anything until he decides EXACTLY what he wants, so he is stuck.

    Neill is chronically terrified and needs to know that nothing is as scary as he expects it to be.

    Joe won’t take any action because he thinks it’s got to be all perfect before he does.

    Spirit doesn’t tend to suggest you go and watch The Secret to make it all better and convince yourself it’s all on its way anyway. Usually a solution or a practical suggestion is proposed, such as:

    ‘Just try that course of action and see what happens’

    ‘Accept that nothing is ever perfect in everyone’s eyes and even give yourself permission to screw up’

    ‘Try it and then you’ll get clearer on what you want’.

    What’s the real reason why it isn’t happening for you?

    Did you agree with what I wrote here?  Disagree?  Give me your thoughts by leaving a reply below.

  • How to Stop Attracting Mr/Ms Wrong

    How to Stop Attracting Mr/Ms Wrong

    When clients have booked a reading with me in the past, it was often because they really wanted to find their ideal match but kept attracting Mr/Ms Wrong over and over again.

    The work that we do together invariably focuses on the client’s default patterns of attraction. A client may tell me that they’re wanting a relationship that is X, Y and Z, but I tend to uncover some unconscious patterns of attraction in these readings which show that the client is attracting the opposite of what they say they want.

    So, this article focuses on unconscious patterns of attraction in relationships, how you can recognize them and how you can clear them to bring in the new. Really all it takes is a genuine desire to create something different, a good look at your past and the conviction that you’re worthy of your desires.

    Looking to your past for the answers

    It’s kind of a common scenario isn’t it? People who attract the same kind of partner again and again. I used to be a pro at attracting men who were terrified of long-term relationships. I have a friend who attracts a lot of men who are self-destructive in some significant way. It seems uncanny how the same kind of partner or potential partner shows up again and again. It’s not a coincidence – there is a reason for it.

    If it seems you’re unable to attract the relationship you want, you may have an old relationship story that no longer suits you, which needs clearing to make way for the new. Your old relationship story consists of one or more default patterns of attraction in relationships. A default pattern of attraction means that you attract a certain undesirable trait/qualities (or set of traits) over and over, without being conscious of it.

    Your default patterns of attraction can have their origins in previous relationships or they can be learned from your parents, family or from society. And because like attracts like, once you start putting energy behind that default pattern of attraction (like when people complain that they only ever seem to attract the same types), it takes root, becomes reinforced and this makes it harder to break out of.

    Becoming conscious of your own old relationship story

    A really simple way to become conscious of your patterns of attraction in relationships is to list all your past relationships – however short or long – and see what the common trait(s) are.

    I’m talking about the common traits which caused the end of the relationship or some conflict in the relationship. It may be a trait in either you or in your previous partner. You may see more than one common trait. For example, you may see among all your partners that they lacked commitment to you. You could see the pattern that you made projects of your partners and tried to change them. It could be that you have mostly dated people who were controlling.

    Once you identify what you are attracting that you no longer want, you can clear it. You could tell yourself that you don’t need to take ownership of what you have attracted into your life in the past. However, the more responsibility you can take for your past relationships, the more you can learn from them.

    Why we must learn from past relationships in order to move on from them

    The universe has an uncanny way of matching us up with the right person who can show us where there is an imbalance in our way of being. For example, the angry person often ends up with the scaredy cat who can’t stand up to them. We attract people who teach us a lesson we need to learn. Sometimes those lessons are the most painful. If you’re the type who attracts angry people, ask yourself why this is. It could be that you need to practise setting boundaries. It could be that you grew up around angry people and never learned how to deal with them, and the universe is sending you another chance. If you are always attracting partners who need your help and rely on you too much, maybe it’s a call for you to heal your desire to change and make projects of other people.

    Recognizing the lessons from our past is a healing process in itself. I learned in my cord-cutting training back in 2010 that you cannot cut an energetic cord to a previous partner until you know what the toxic patterns are contained within the cord and where they came from in the first place. I believe it’s the same with our experiences. If you don’t learn the lessons from your past relationships and see what they were showing you, life will continue to hit you over the head with the same experiences until you do.

    Bring in the new

    If you’re letting go of what you don’t want – begin to focus on what you do want. Make a new list of desirable traits that you’re seeking in a partner (a list of non-negotiables). Some examples are: must have a sense of humour, must be financially solvent, kindness, willingness to commit, etc.

    Get really clear on what you want. If you’ve experienced many unsatisfactory relationships, you probably already have an idea of what you do want, because you have experienced the opposite and that helps you to get clear on what you do want.

    Next, look at your list of non-negotiables. Ask yourself whether you would date yourself. Do you have the traits on your list? For example, are you asking for a financially solvent partner when you’re broke? If so, you may be asking someone to rescue you.

    A few months back I chatted with someone who was struggling with her finances, and she told me she was trying to meet a new partner and thought it would be nice to have a wealthy partner to help her in her finances. She met a broke guy. He also wanted to manifest a wealthy partner, and she showed up.

    If there are some things in your list which you don’t embody, then commit to working on these as part of your process of attracting the ideal mate. Finding your ideal partner really does start from within. And it’s not about becoming perfect so that you can attract a perfect mate, it’s about becoming conscious of, and eradicating the parts of you which attract undesirable traits by default. Once you change from inside, the rest of the world shifts in response to the new you, including the relationships which come your way.

    Did you know that cord cutting is an excellent way to change yourself from the inside out, and get a new relationship story?

    I offer a professional training in cord cutting here.

    And you can read more about my experiences with cord cutting here.