I decided to write an article about cord-cutting as a healing technique because it has made a big difference to me and to my relationships. Anyone who has had a difficult relationship with a significant other or parent figure can benefit from this article. But first of all, I’m going to begin by explaining what cords are exactly.
What are cords and why cut them?
A cord is a negative energetic structure that ties you and another person together.
When you form a relationship with a person, you make two types of connection. The first type of connection is the spiritual, positive bond that contains energies like unconditional love, good times and lessons learned together, fondness, affection – stuff like that. This is a positive cord that we do not sever because it contains all that is good about the relationship.
The second type of connection is a negative cord – this energetic structure is very different from the positive type because it contains all the negative energies that have ever been a feature of your relationship. For example, let’s say you have a cord to an unfaithful ex-boyfriend. Encoded within this cord are the feelings you had as part of this relationship. This could be feelings of paranoia or feelings of inadequacy or anger when you found out about the cheating.
When you split up, you may never see each other again, but the negative structure (the energy cord) between you remains. And this cord that connects you two contains those unhelpful patterns and dynamics: rage, inadequacy, paranoia; keeping quiet and pleasing others at your own expense.
Even though you feel like you should have moved on from the relationship, those energies circulate between you both and still affect you. For example, you still think of your ex-partner and you still feel resentful and angry. Perhaps when you get into a different relationship, you feel the same old paranoia. And things that happen remind you of the old relationship – even though it bears no resemblance, in reality. This happens because those negative energies from the cord are flowing into your aura 24/7 and affecting your ability to move on; or feel, think and act differently.
This relationship is just one (dramatic) example. You can form cords with literally anyone you have (or have had) a meaningful relationship with, and each one can be draining in its own way.
What is cord-cutting?
Cord-cutting is a spiritual healing process that energetically severs that negative attachment between you and another person so that the shadow of that past relationship does not hang over you or affect your behaviour in the present. This means that the anger, paranoia and feelings of inadequacy, particular to that aforementioned relationship can be eliminated. And obviously, other relationships can be improved because of it. It does not mean that you lose contact with the person or that it weakens the positive connection. Cord-cutting will never mean the person disappears from your life unless you consciously make that happen by severing contact. If anything, that pure, positive connection is improved because it is no longer overshadowed by negative energies.
(And note that by cutting the cord to an ex-boyfriend, it does not mean that you will not automatically ever have those patterns with anyone else – often it’s helpful to go right back to childhood and cut cords with parent figures and anyone who mistreated or abused you as well. But cord-cutting does free up more of your energy and stops you from repeating the pattern with the person in question.)
Who do we form cords to?
The biggest cords are often formed with:
Lovers, spouses (exes and present), children, parents, siblings, close friends, and bullies or abusers.
Smaller cords may be formed with:
Clients, teachers, bosses, co-workers, friends, acquaintances.
Every relationship is unique so you could have a big cord to your boss but a smaller cord to your favourite sibling. Sometimes cords are so small that they don’t affect you at all.
You will usually be able to tell who you have the most toxic cords with, because there will definitely be negativity associated with the relationship, no matter how much you love or respect the person.
The most impactful cord-cutting I’ve seen happens through cutting cords to parents, partners and ex-lovers.
How does cord-cutting happen?
An effective cord-cutting process will usually involve at least 10 steps and will take at least 35-40 minutes.
Effective cord-cutting does not happen through simply asking the Archangels to sever the cords, seeing them do it and then thanking them.
I now understand that the golden rule of cord-cutting is this:
In order to cut cords effectively, you have to discuss (and understand) the negative patterns which are a feature of your relationship with that person. You need to learn from those patterns. Obviously, you also need some intuitive ability to be able to find out what patterns are present within the cord.
The client really has to realise what these patterns are, so that other relationships can be impacted and so they move on from these negative patterns. Obviously, you can’t do this if you just ask Archangel Michael to sever all cords to everyone you’ve ever known. After all, the cords contain valuable learnings and so Archangel Michael won’t eliminate all those opportunities for learning, by just obliterating the cords. That would be like the earthly equivalent of cheating on a computer game. And it’s not possible to do because the Archangels & Ascended Masters who cut cords for us won’t oblige when we ask for their assistance in that regard.
When you cut a cord properly, you should never have to cut a cord to a person more than once. And you only ever have one cord to one person. If a practitioner says you need to do it more than once or on a regular basis, they are probably referring to psychic ties instead (psychic ties should not be confused with cords – cords are much bigger and more significant. Also, just a note that when people are cutting all their “cords” in one go, what they are actually doing is cutting psychic ties, not cords.)
My personal experiences with cord-cutting
When I first came across cord-cutting in 2008, I was skeptical about how cord-cutting could benefit me. In the first session I had, we cut a cord to an ex-boyfriend and by the time we had finished I felt totally different – as if the relationship had happened 100 years ago. I couldn’t imagine how it had ever had a negative impact on my life – it felt so long ago.
How cord-cutting made life better
I’ve always been a head-in-the-clouds kind of person. I spent much of my early life wanting to escape from the reality of life. I would say I probably never engaged with life all that much, and spent much of my childhood absorbed in studies. I was also deeply absorbed in the spirit realm, with a strong connection to my guides, Spirit and non-physical teachers, yet it felt like I was not cut out for the practicalities of real, earthly life – ever.
Until I cut the cord to my father. I literally changed overnight in terms of groundedness in 2009 and it has been like that since then.
The cord from my father and our troubled relationship at that time meant that I was receiving huge amounts of negative energies that I wanted to escape from – hence my desire to escape from the world. When I’d had readings with other intuitives, they’d tell me that I was carrying and running away from someone else’s emotional burdens. Although that was useful information in some ways, it also wasn’t useful because I didn’t know what to do about it. Life was very heavy and I felt very drained, until I cut the cord to him.
In the days after I cut the cord, emotions flooded out of me and it feels like I became 10 times more grounded overnight.
It wasn’t easy coming back to earth in the weeks following the cord-cutting. In fact, it was really painful. I had to face emotions I’d buried for years. But I felt much better since I cut it.
I find it does help to have your biggest cords cut by someone impartial. For example, if your relationship to your mother is very fraught, it may be hard for you to get some objectivity and know what patterns are present in the relationship.
I teach people to cut cords of attachment in my Cord Cutting & Intuitive Healing Program.
I really love this article!
This is such an important topic. I hope a lot more people learn about it in the coming months and years.
It is a very effective technique – sometimes quite dramatic. 🙂
This is perfect timing for me, thanks. (Actually, it would have been “perfect timing” at any point within the last several months, but I digress.)
Hi Peter – thanks for your comment! I agree that it is important and I also hope to spread the word about cord cutting more in the future.
Hi Anna,
I’ve taken the cord cutting classes in person with Rose – have taken all her classes, actually, and am pretty well versed in the subjects she teaches.
This was a WONDERFUL article on cord cutting. Very detailed and I think offers a great insight into a little-known topic. There are so many different opinions on what and how cord cutting works and I think one had to go with what resonates for them.
Because you and I have been trained in Rose’s trademarked method, naturally, we put the emphasis on healing as a result of cutting the cord. This really is big energetic work and I especially like that Rose really speaks to the integrity of it in her book and in her phone sessions.
Really nice piece. I love your site, Anna. Looks like we have studied many things on the same path (Rose’s work, Spiritual Realignment, etc.) 🙂
Hi Anna,
I had a cord cutting session with you once and I still very appreciate your work. However, I don’t understand what it means that you need to understand the lessons in the cord. What I understand is what happened between us (the relationship). Could you please explain that? Thanks. 😀
Hi Arthor,
Thanks! 🙂 🙂
I don’t do much auric shielding consciously anymore.
I do feel my energy pulling back and inwards automatically when I’m in a place that’s got toxic energy or when I’m around someone who’s very angry.
And I do clear out my aura regularly in case it contains energies that don’t belong to me.
I guess for negative energy that comes from relationships, the way I see it, is that the energy becomes a part of your aura. For example, if you are verbally/physically abused by your mother when you’re little, it’s difficult to heal that by shielding your aura, because the negative patterns and behaviour sits in the aura. It’s not an integral part of you, but the ‘stuff’ is there and it can be removed, right?
So I think healing and cord cutting is better for that. Yes, I agree that sensitive people are more likely to lose energy worrying, etc. The more open and empathic you are, the easier it is to lose energy in that regard I suppose. But in terms of clearing out the effects of toxic relationships and difficult events from your life, I believe that cord-cutting is the best technique I’ve found…so far at least.
Hi Lisa,
Welcome – Thanks so much for leaving your comment…I checked out your site, love the name.
I think you are right that we all have to just go with the technique that resonates with us. And I also think that cord cutting can be a deceptive name for a healing session because it’s much more than cutting a cord! It’s really a complete relationship healing session.
Thanks for stopping by Lisa!
Hi Ferlin,
Sorry for the delayed reply. When I talked about understanding the lessons contained within the cord, I mean you understand what energies are in the cord and how they have been affecting your life and your behaviour in that relationship (and in other relationships). Once you’ve got awareness of how it affects you, healing and change is possible. Without the awareness, healing cannot happen.
Does that answer your question?
Anna,
Thanks for sharing your insight on spiritual cords as well as subjects. This helps to spread the truth about who we are and how we can heal ourselves.
Anna, you got it right. You cannot simply just cut the spiritual cord and it’s gone permanently. You can ask Archangel Michael cut it but it will come back if you don’t understand the issues related to spiritual cord and to forgive yourself and other person and let go.
Let me share one of my personal experience. I heard about spiritual cord from Doreen Virtue. I ask Archangel Michael to cut the cord. I really feek different after the cord cutting. But it comes back the next day because inside me I still have not forgive and let go.
So a year later, after learning about the power of forgiveness and how it works from Bryan Farnum, I decided in my heart that I will first forgive this person and I ask that person’s soul or higher self to forgive me on the issues I have with that person. Then I ask Archangel Michael to cut the cord. This time it was permanent. My heart is lighter and I no longer get upset or angry or any of the negative feeling that I have with that person when I see her or him. Of course you might still react with negative feeling if they push your button. But the different if you no longer hold that negative feeling. You just let go once it is over within that day.
As Anna said, to cut the cord, you need to understand the issues you have with person or thing. Next you have to forgive yourself and the other person. Then you can ask Archangel Michael to cut it.
Again, this is my personal experience.
Kenneth
“You will usually be able to tell who you have the most toxic cords with, because there will be a certain negativity associated with the relationship, no matter how much you love or respect the person.”
how can you love/respect a person when they give you constant negative feelings? I am quite annoyed with ‘new agers’ in general and their warped concept of love.
Real l o v e is respect. If you’re not being respected, you are not being loved. If someone gives you bad feelings, they are not respecting you.
Why smother everything into a pot and call it ‘love’?
I hate the misconception that love has anything to do with ‘doing good’.
Doing good is actually the same as doing bad, it’s only presented in a different way. Both of these intentions are based on fear and the real love is generated automatically by being in a state of fearlessness and this will be reached most easily when a person is viewed, treated and respected like a God which they truly are.
This knowledge should make the do-gooder stop his hypocrisy because by wanting to do ‘good’ to someone it implies that they are in need of something that the do-gooder can give to them as opposed to viewing them as the God they are. But if you can’t see the Godess in someone there’s no need to fake that either.
Having do-good intentions is based on ego and thus fear. It’s a pure hypocrisy.
Real love has nothing to do with others. In that state, there is no intention towards others. The only natural intention one can have is to do good to oneself, that’s what people are designed for, to make themselves feel good. All claims of making others feel good are just a mask to get something from the other that wll make themselves feel good, actually better than the other. Therefore, socalled ‘do-good’ intentions are always a form of manipulation for the ‘do-gooder’ to make himself feel better by placing himself subtly above the other. The paradox is that they will only be able to make somebody else feel at best when they have no intentions (either bad or ‘good’) towards that person by being in their own state of fearlessness.
Also, I have a question about large cords usually being formed with sexual partners as said in this article. Does that include one-night stands? Or does one really has to have some intense sexual relationship to form a big cord?
If one-night stands form big cords as opposed to smaller cords, does a prostitute who experiences sex with her clients as very clinical and detached also form significant cords with her clients?
Is it purely the act of penis in vagina or the bodily fluids being mixed or is it specifically the sperm in one’s body , the energy behind the orgasm that causes the cord to be large (instead of small if it was a one night stand anyway?)
If it would be merely because of the entering of one’s personal private space like the vagina that you normally don’t share with strangers whom you at maximum would form a small cord with, that causes the cord to be large? If so, do women have significant cords with their gynecologist/ obstetrics?
Just curious to a psychic’s opinion about this…
Hi Jesebelle,
Here are my thoughts on this (as a relatively new practitioner of this modality, I hasten to add)…
From what I’ve learned (and seen so far with clients), we do not form significant cords with every single sexual partner, especially if the sexual relationship is brief and there is little emotion to it. For example, I do not think it likely that a sex worker would form large cords to every single client. It really depends on the level of emotion, interest and trauma that two people experience together, or because of the other person.
No, clients would certainly not have large cords to their gynecologist unless there was an element of violation or abuse in the encounter.
Hi Anna, it seems that after the cord cutting you go through a bit of emotional roller coaster right? Do you consider this as being the grief from letting go of all the attachment the cord caused?
Im interested in knowing more about this technique.
Through the Michael Teachings. I came across another way to block other peoples unwanted attention. Its mysteriously effective and very simple.
If someone for any reason has gotten under my skin, and poisoned me emotionally or mentally, to the point that I feel unecessarily aggravated or preoccupied with their opinion, I write their name down on a piece of paper,
put it in a baggie, fiill it with water, allow it to freeze, and eventually throw it out with the trash. Its very liberating. It can literally cool out alot of anger/irritation.
Hi. I just want to say that I am so grateful for all the information you have provided here.
I have just had a semi-traumatic experience with a healer and I was desperate to find out what had been done and to learn about what cord-cutting is. This is the only place I was able to find a thorough explanation of what cord-cutting is.
I realized, as a result of my semi-traumatic experience, that what I may need to focus on is cutting cords with my father and at least 1, if not 2 former loves I had.
I have a recent ex who’s not happy about breaking up. He really wants to get back together, and I know I don’t want to. Would a cord-cutting session help with this? I’m not having trouble moving on, but he is.
What an amazing article! About a year ago I had a falling out with a very close friend. We stopped speaking and could not come to terms so it all came to an abrupt hault. I have had a lot of anger and bitterness over the last few months and I was upset about not being able to let go. Instead of really thinking about what happened I pushed it away from my mind, but it was like a poison that would creap up when I least expected it.
While I was driving to work thoughts of her surfaced again and it was like nails on a chalk board. I began to really think of everything that had brought us to this point, the original fight and the aftermath and just like that it hit me. I was still spiritually connected to her! 14 years don’t fade away because of a negative situation and a year is nothing compared to years of friendship and love. Not talking to her wasn’t enough, not seeing her didn’t make the pain go away, I had to let the connection go, the cord!!! The relief was amazing, like the stomach flips you get while going down hill. The problem wasn’t her, the problem was me, my emotional state. I know it may resurface but I’ve felt better all day. Like you put in your article, it feels like it happened long ago and there is no negativity poisoning me anymore. That’s when I started to google spiritual cords and came across your article. Thank you for putting in such amazing words. At first I thought my relief was me finally hitting insanity. 🙂
Dear Anna,
I have just discovered your blog and have read a couple of articles and they’re great but I’m especially interested in cord-cutting. I’ve actually read a couple different articles on cord-cutting in the past couple days and I feel like your article struck a cord with me. I would really like to learn to do the process myself so that I can use it as a tool for now on instead of always relying on someone to cut my cords for me.
Lately, I have been developing my own intuitive abilities and successfully predicted a few things that happened in the past couple months. I have been really trying to grow spiritually and actually have been visiting a psychic on the regular for energy work but she hasn’t mentioned cord cutting to me. I feel that if I take time to meditate I can find out what lessons I’m supposed to take away from the person I am trying to cut the cords with and successfully perform the cord-cutting myself (although some of the reasons are already really apparent to me) and avoid future recurrent problems.
I also have a couple of questions about the affects of cord-cutting.
My background: I went through a rough break-up about 2 months ago. This man was first in my life when I was a child and was actually my babysitter for a couple of years (he’s 5 years older than me). After that, we lost contact for several years. I then forgot about him and wrote something called a “soul mate” list because I wanted to find the love of my life. The list contained about 400 traits that I wanted in a man/relationship. Then this man popped up into my life and was the man from my list, down to the clothes he wore and songs he sang to me. I fell in love hard and quick.
Things were great for about a year and then he started blaming me for things and initiating fights. He then decided to break-up with me and get rid of most of his friends and not speak to his family. I am not sure what sent him down this path but now I know I must let him go. I literally can feel his anger and blame and it hurts me deeply on all levels. Sometimes, I am fine and happy but if something happens where he gets mad at me I feel it. Like, last week I was happy then out of the blue I felt incredibly sad and I cried for 2 days while uncontrollably thinking about my ex. The 3rd day, I get a call from him saying that everyone is mad at him for breaking up with me, that he has received death threats in the mail threatening to hurt him for hurting me, and that he is mad at me because the only friends he has talk to me too (they reached out to comfort me after the break-up). I called back my ex and let him know that I have nothing to do with anything of these things and he said he believed me, but I still feel that he is sending anger and blame my way sometimes for things that have nothing to do with me and that aren’t my fault. (He even told people he was going to cut my break lines before I called him back).
I know the effect cord cutting is supposed to have on whom is performing it but most of the articles I have read do not go much into those on the other end. besides the person being free from your negative energies and the blocks you put in place with your cords to them, is it possible for anything else to happen to them? I have read in most cord-cutting ceremonies that you visualize them finding “loving light” in the end and wishing them well, so does that mean they can find extra happiness besides just the happiness from your lack of negative cords to them? I know my ex is clinically depressed and I know he has a lot of demons besides the negative ties with me so I’m hoping “the light” actually provides him some direction to finding his own happiness (although I am aware it is not my job to “make him happy”).
Will the person you are cutting ties from change their negative feelings towards you? I was hoping that the blame/hate he feels towards me could go away on his end. Will they just feel nothing towards you if they want you gone anyways?
Lastly, I feel like leaving the good chords between me and my ex, especially if they help me in some way. Would this be a mistake leaving good chords with him or should I just cut them all from him?
Thanks for your advice,
-CD
Hi Anna,
I just completed your article about cord cutting. Are you able to cut a toxic energy cord for my son. He is currently in a very toxic relationship and the negative energy he keeps receiving from this person,even from long distance, drains his energy most of the day. He is even beginning to exhibit headaches and stomach aches out of the blue and the fatigue/lethargy/anger/apapthy are all connected to the effects of this relationship. He has been suffering for almost 2 and a half years. Is there anything you can do to help?
Thank you,
Marlee
CD, I relate to you and would be interested in the answer to that myself.
I actually physically cut the cord right there in front of him. Firstly, I opened all my chakras, then grounded myself and reached out with a pair of imaginary scissors and cut the cord between our solar plexus. I then got into my car and said as I went, “I love you, I just can’t be with you” This whole process felt natural to me. I was very hurt and just couldn’t leave without completing this ritual.
Hi
I just did the cord cutting on 17th of this month between me and my ex. But yesterday he again contacted me for normal help and then again wanted me back, which I don’t want. I have been experiencing after cord cutting, that the name of my ex is popping up in TV channels I am surfing, names on shops, or strangers passing by. Why is it happening?
Hi Anna, Do you happen to know who ‘invented’ cord cutting. I’ve been talking about this with friends after we learned that Doreen Virtue claims to have received this technique straight from God in prayer. It seems more likely to me that she read about it somewhere, forgot where and then made it ‘hers.’ The reason I say this is because I remember reading about Cord Cutting in Barbara Ann Breannan’s seminal work ‘Hands of Light.’ This book was first published in 1990. I read it for the first time in 1998. But what I want to know is if you have any information about the originis of this technique… I suspect it is even older than ‘Hands of Light’ but have not managed to track down an older source. Any help with this would be much appreciated. Cheers, Lisa
Hi Lisa,
I suspect that the idea of severing an energetic connection to someone, to bring about healing and closure, is a very old one and has possibly been practised by shamanic practitioners from various different cultures for a long time.
There are a few different ways of doing it and for that reason I don’t think anyone can claim to have originated this technique, probably instead taken a concept that has been around since forever, and come up with their own way or developed a ritual for doing it. I think there is not much that is new under the sun in the realm of spiritual healing.
The technique I use, was taught to the person who mentored me by a woman called Joanna Lester. I haven’t been able to find much about her online.
Anna
What about chords from past lifetimes, ancestral Bondage chords, and chords with non-physical entities? Are you able to provide more information about these?
Thank you ????
Good afternoon from Australia Anna,
I am looking for a way to help my Mum (85) and her new husband, also 85. They were both widowed but Ian’s wife, although passed for about 8 years constantly sends orbs flying around their bedroom, sends him into depression like funks and he constantly has feelings of guilt (I think).
I have been told that she was very sick all their married life (one long marriage) from the very beginning and all through their married life. Trapped him into staying with illness, he stayed, felt guilty and carries this with him still. I would like to assist him to do a Cord Cutting and wonder if it is appropriate to do this with a departed soul. I think she is being very mischievious…
Thank you in advance, Janet
Hi Janet,
We are not offering cord cutting sessions at the moment – they probably won’t be available again until some time in the first half of 2018. But yes we could do a cord cutting for this sort of thing when they become available again if you can wait that long. He would need to book himself – we don’t accept bookings from family members or friends for the healing sessions on behalf of their loved ones, because the times we have had people order sessions for loved ones, we have sometimes found the person in question is unfortunately not ready for the healing, so that’s why we now have that policy! Anna