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Early Psychic Experiences
I have written this account of my psychic journey because I am often asked the question ‘Were you always psychic?’
It begins at age six really, because I cannot remember any specific psychic experiences before the age of six.
I know I was always very sensitive and I would say my strongest psychic gifts growing up were empathy and precognition (knowing when something was going to happen). I also had a strong bond (a telepathic or intuitive one) with my little brother Tony, who did not talk until he was nearly four. That was partly because I was able to speak for him and communicate to my parents what he wanted. This is Tony and I around that age.
My sensitivity was suppressed not long after because of a bad experience seeing a ghost in the house I grew up in.
I saw a woman standing in the corner of my bedroom at night. She was dressed in a style that was of the turn of the century and I still remember exactly what her silhouette looked like.
I am fairly certain she was an earthbound spirit (a soul who has died but not crossed over) although at the time I didn’t know who she was (I grew up in a house that was built around the end of the nineteenth century). I just knew she wasn’t a real person.
That experience put a fear of ghosts and ghouls into me – a fear that I didn’t get over until my early twenties. That night, I just put the covers over my head, absolutely petrified, hoping that she would leave. I remember my heart beating in my chest so hard. I told my mother about this encounter in the morning. My mother is a very pragmatic, scientifically-oriented person. I remember hearing my parents talking about my experience worriedly. From that moment on, I realized that my parents did not like my seeing things and it worried them. My parents had no experience or knowledge of the spirit world and I felt like there was something wrong with me for having seen what I had. I think I had concluded that I wasn’t “meant” to be seeing anything that they couldn’t see.
Later on, my psychic gift made appearances here and there, but it was not consistent. When I was around ten years old, I remember going on a week-long geography field trip to Wales. While there, it seemed I had a gift for prediction, as I was able to predict the meals that we were going to have before they served them. I was also able to predict the lottery numbers that week, although of course we were only about ten years old so sadly nobody went out to buy a lottery ticket!
Studying the Tarot
A few years later, I became fascinated with the Tarot. I bought myself a pack of Tarot cards, much to my family’s disapproval as they associated the Tarot with the occult. I used to take my tarot cards to school and did readings for the students and teachers. I also used to play a game where I was able to predict which tarot card I was about to pull out of the pack, even if I reshuffled the pack, I would always know which one I was going to pull out. It freaked out my friends somewhat. I was told by my family that the Tarot was dangerous, and that it invited contact with negative spirits. In my experience, consulting the Tarot was interesting, comforting even and I sensed that something or someone benevolent was working with me to give me the relevant information.
Through this process of studying the Tarot, I became very familiar with the symbols of the Tarot and in retrospect that was the beginning of my intuitive training.
Yearning for Spiritual Connection
It was around the age of eleven that I began going to Church on my own. I had always been drawn to anything spiritual and Church was the closest I thought I could get to the supernatural. I loved the silence of the church on Sunday evenings and the poetry of the Bible. I loved talking to God and Jesus. My maternal Grandmother was a strong influence on me at this time as she was quite a religious person but she also had an affinity with Native American spirituality and she helped nurture a connection to the Divine. I especially enjoyed visiting her.
Another reason why I enjoyed spending time with my grandmother was because she was a graphologist (someone who analyzes handwriting to deduce personality traits). When I visited her house, I would spend hours reading her graphology books, decoding handwriting. By examining and retracing people’s handwriting, I was able to step inside of the experience of the person who wrote it and get a feel for who they were.
One of the first times I read for people I didn’t know was during a school fair at around the age of fourteen, when I analyzed the handwriting (and read the palms of ) the teachers and students. It was a fun exercise for me and they were all blown away by the accuracy of what they thought would just be a party trick or a cold reading. I never imagined I’d be doing that kind of work ten years later!
I really like your blog. I find it really calming to read when I feel stressed. You have a nice way of writing and articulating yourself. I just read your entry about early childhood experiences and the thing about the lottery. Did you guess all 6 numbers correctly in the UK lottery? If so that is some feat.
Thanks for sharing your interesting story here Anna, I enjoyed reading it.
Thanks, Debbie! It was five numbers that I predicted correctly.
I have written your blog once before and I want to share my psychic experience this year and would like to get a feedback from you, if possible.
This year, I have see and talked with dead relatives with my eyes close. The images are so vivid that sometimes it scares me. Sometimes, I think of them before they come as vivid as a day but other times they just showed up.Sometimes, I feel and see what they may have felt right before they passed away (ie, drowning) which was very frightening to me. Anna, could you please explain why I am seeing and hearing these dead people when I am about to go to sleep when my body is relaxed and a sleep is just a minute away?
Thank you and hope to hear from you.
My story is so much like yours. I lived in a very conservative town and was accused of being a “devil worshiper.” I suppose it didn’t help my position that I also enjoyed that “devil music,” rock and roll.
I also have type 2 bipolar disorder, which is a form of bipolar that does not present with psychosis. However, of course I’m often questioned as to whether what I’m feeling is simply a manifestation of my screwed up brain chemistry. I’m 51 years old and crabby, so most of the time I tell people that I will believe what I believe regardless of what they think, but the truth is I have very little faith in myself. As well, at this juncture I am completely agnostic regarding a belief in any sort of higher being, but I do keep an open mind.
You described my life almost entirely. For much of my life I was a daydreamer, a recluse and very much lived in higher planes. As a young child I often saw spirits although most of what I saw seemed higher than the few simple ghosts. I would see lights around plants that I thought were fairies. I had a sense of “doorways” to other worlds that were often marked in the physical world in some way such as a certain way the grass grew or umbrellas, etc. I think most children understand this. I always lit up the darkness of my room with glowing turning shapes, green static, faces. I always heard tones, ringing, voices, music, loud claps etc. I would also hear static, laughing, glass clinging etc. I think clairaudience is my main clair. I also smell things that aren’t there, especially exotic flowers. Anyway with time that quieted down because as I got older and talked to friend I was aware that it was “weird” and that everyone didn’t do it. Until school age, I thought it was normal to see a giant green floating face in your room or trippy light explosions. So over time I lost it although it comes back now and again. I always felt more alone around people and more at home in the woods, by the water or on a grassy hilltop. I felt closer to the colors of the evening sky than my own siblings. I felt that I could fade or merge into them and at one point in my life actually contemplated suicide. Not because I couldn’t function or hated life…I just felt like fading into the sky would be so blissful and being tethered here was painful. Having kids is probably what kept me here but also I am a Capricorn so interestingly, very practical and level-headed when it counts although from the suicide comment it probably doesn’t seem that way.
With the going away from my visions I still was very much in my head. I tend to over analyze and overthink. My head rules my heart. I did however manage to keep a strong sense of connection to spirit and my dreams are vivid and sometimes more so than waking reality. In them I see colors that don’t exist on earth. I’ll go through waves where I have intensely spiritual dreams with a lot of personal meaning.
Currently though I feel a calling to experience earth living to its fullest. I am seeking more physical activity. In an extensive test I found that my throat, third eye and crown are very active but from my heart down I am closed off. I feel my root is opening again. I want to open my heart and have had an immense attraction to the color green lately and take this as a sign. It’s difficult though because the world can be harsh. Nature is beautiful but humanity can be a nightmare. I think that I close myself off too because in all actuality I am very sensitive and feel things intensely and it’s too hard to take sometimes. Despite this seemingly sad self description I do find that I am mostly happy although from this post it might not seem that way. Lol
I don’t know if I should tell this to anyone but….I’d like to share “things” but I wonder if here is a good idea or not. What would you suggest ?
P.S. : I have similar experience at later age, to be honest, would that be consider as gift or not ?