A common scenario I’ve seen for people who are going through a spiritual or psychic awakening, is that a death in the family served as a catalyst for their awakening.
Typically, this means that when a person loses a beloved family member or friend, they have an experience around the person’s passing (usually something of a paranormal nature) and it opens up their spiritual awareness or challenges their worldview and beliefs about the afterlife.
I’ve had a lot of emails in the past from new readers beginning “My loved one recently passed away, and I’m finding that my abilities are opening up…”
I’ll give you an example of how this can play out, through a story involving my little brother, Tony.
This is Tony and me in the photo below:
Tony is only 18 months younger than me and was my little partner in crime when we were small — we were really close, with an almost telepathic bond.
When I set myself up as an intuitive back in 2008, Tony honestly thought I was a bit bonkers. However, he had a paranormal experience a few years ago that was so odd, it completely changed his mind:
Back then, he had a routine going when he got home from work in the evening. Every night, when he arrived home and parked up, his beloved cat Ling would wait for him and jump on the bonnet of the car when he arrived. Tony would wind down his window and the cat would give him a kiss, and jump into the car.
Anyway, one day when he got back home from work, the cat jumped on the bonnet as usual but this time, he did not get into the car when Tony wound down the window. Instead, he ran off into the garden as if he’d been spooked by something. That had never happened before.
Tony opened the car door, and was amazed and horrified to find the cat that had just greeted him cold and dead on the floor. As he was standing there, a taxi driver drove past and said, “Is that your cat? I came past here earlier…he’s been dead for a few hours, I didn’t want to move him so that the owners could find him easily.”
Sadly Ling had been hit by a car at some point earlier that day. It is an experience Tony can’t explain. Perhaps that was the cat’s way of saying goodbye.
How losing a loved one can trigger an awakening
After a person passes, it is not uncommon to have experiences (like my brother’s experience) that we simply cannot explain. Sometimes the signs we receive from our deceased loved ones are subtle signs, like hearing their favourite song on the radio, seeing something moving in the corner of your eye or even just having the sense that the person’s energy is with you.
Or sometimes the experience we have can be more dramatic, such as what happened to my brother.
I’ve often heard of experiences for people where a deceased loved one passes in the night, perhaps a long distance away, and the person who is left behind wakes up at exactly the time that the passing took place, or they wake up hearing the deceased person calling their name at the time the passing happened. The deceased can quite easily come to us in our dreams (in this article, I explain why.)
Another common experience that can cause us to change the way we look at the world is when a medium is able to connect to our deceased loved one and pass on information that is unmistakably from the deceased.
So when you go through such experiences, it’s not surprising that your beliefs about life after death are challenged, and this can spark a spiritual awakening.
There’s also another mechanism through which our intuitive gifts can awaken when someone close to us passes…
Part of us follows the deceased person to the ‘other side’
The other phenomenon that can occur after a loved one dies, is that part of our energy/soul can follow the deceased into the afterlife for a while. This doesn’t happen to all those who go through a loss, but it does sometimes happen, especially when a death is unexpected and sudden.
This corresponds to the concept of soul loss in shamanism. Soul loss is based on the idea that that traumas can cause us to “lose” fragments of our soul’s energy temporarily. In psychology, it corresponds to splitting, dissociation and the idea of part of our psyche being stuck in the past, with another person or or with a past experience that is unresolved.
When you experience soul loss, you may feel like part of you is missing, or has been lost somehow. You may not feel like ‘yourself’. You may have low energy and low immunity. You might also have gaps in your memory when it comes to the trauma or loss that affected you.
The part of you that is temporarily missing following a bereavement can usually be found in the afterlife, with your deceased loved one. After some time, and as you come to terms with the loss, this soul fragment will usually return to you, but in the mean time, having a piece of you reside with your deceased loved one on the other side can cause a heightened sense of spiritual awareness.
This can manifest as you noticing when your deceased loved one is visiting you. You may become more perceptive when it comes to receiving spiritual communication from them. If you had any latent mediumship abilities at all, these begin to open up.
I hope this article explains why a death of a loved one can often be a potent catalyst for a spiritual or psychic awakening. You can perhaps think of it as your deceased loved one’s gift to you.
Did this happen to you? I’d love to hear about your experience. Please share in the comments section below.
In this article, I’m going to give you some tips on what you can do to draw your deceased loved ones closer to you, and I’m also going to give some examples of signs that they are already communicating with you.
This topic has been on my mind a fair bit lately, mostly because I’ve been hearing a lot from my deceased grandparents in recent weeks, including one I’ve never heard from before.
The lady in this picture is my paternal grandmother, Frances Adams.
She died one week before I was born. My dad didn’t talk much about his mum when we were growing up. All I knew about her was that she worked in a factory and she played the piano. And when she died of a stroke when he was 29, he was devastated. I remember when he talked about her death, it was still a very painful topic for him and he looks very sad in my baby photos.
And then when I went to visit my dad (who lives in New Zealand) in February of this year, my dad confessed that after 40 years of being estranged from his older sisters (after an argument), he was hoping to track them down or at least find out if they were still around and if they would be interested in reconnecting. His mum (Frances), came through to me, loud and clear and told me where to look for them and how to approach getting in touch. She also told me what to expect in terms of whether they are alive or dead, and it didn’t take long to track one of my dad’s sisters down, using the info she gave.
Around this time, I also had a dream about Frances. In the dream, I was in a hospital (I’m not sure why) and she was also there to visit someone. She was wearing an orange blouse, the same colour as the dress she was wearing in the photo above, and she looked very smart. In the dream, she spoke to me, and although I couldn’t remember what she said, I remember she was very softly spoken and seemed like quite a gentle person.
I woke up in the morning with her voice (that I had never heard before in real life) ringing in my ears. I felt so close to this person I had never met. I told my dad about the dream and he mentioned that she was very softly-spoken and a gentle personality, too. So, I do feel that it was a visitation from her.
Do you want to know how your deceased loved ones might be communicating with you, too?
Next up, I’m going to give you a comprehensive list of how you can know if your deceased loved one (in this article, I‘m going to shorten this term to d.l.o.) is already communicating with you, and then I’m going to give you a full list of tips for encouraging communication with them, if you’re not seeing any communication or much at all.
So, here are all the common ways in which our deceased loved ones tend to communicate with us:
Flickering lights & problems with electrics
Yes, d.l.o’s can interfere with electrics. When I lived in New Zealand, I noticed I was getting a lot of flickering lights in my house, and it went on for about 3 weeks. A medium I saw around this time told me that my great-grandmother, Ida Sayce, was around me, and that she said she was making my lights flicker to make her presence felt. I hadn’t even mentioned the lights to the medium, so that was pretty cool.
Feathers & Coins
If you’re finding feathers or coins on your path, especially in unusual places, then this can also be a sign that your deceased person is getting your attention. I was recently chatting online with a friend when I was in an airport waiting for a flight. She was telling me all about her partner who passed away several years ago. She told me that she sensed that she and him were going to meet again in a future life. I got the strong sense (intuitively) this would be the case, and felt tingles on my neck as I read the message (which is a sign Spirit is with me). Then in an empty (indoors) airport with no birds around, I had this feather blow past me and settle right at my feet in front of me. Feathers for me are a sign that Spirit is with me, so I felt like that was her deceased partner giving her a sign and I sent the photo of the feather to her.
You smell their fragrance
Maybe your deceased loved one wore a particular brand of perfume or they smelled like tobacco because they smoked. If you smell this odour around you and there’s no other source it could be coming from, that’s also a sign they are with you (by the way, this gift is called clairsalience.)
You have birds or butterflies around you that are behaving in unusual ways
Obviously not every time you see a bird or a butterfly is going to be your deceased loved one communicating with you. But if you are on a walk, thinking about your d.l.o. and you see a bird that follows you around on your walk, that’s a sign. Or if you see a butterfly and you’re thinking of your d.l.o., and butterflies have some significance for you spiritually, maybe that’s a sign, too. Basically, go on how YOU feel about it. If something feels significant, it likely is.
Physical sensations
A sign for me that Spirit is around is that I get tingling on my temples, near my eyes. This can happen on one side or both sides. I don’t just get this when a deceased spirit is around but also when I do readings and come into contact with other types of Spirit. This is a form of clairsentience and it is not uncommon for people to experience it when their deceased love one is hanging around. It can manifest in different ways — it won’t necessarily always manifest as tingling or on the temples, like mine does. It could be on your back or on the back of your legs, for example (both common spots.) It could also be a physical sensation like pressure or feel like someone is touching you when there is no-one there.
You just get the sense they are with you
This one is hard to describe. Maybe you just feel like they are so close that they are in the room with you, or maybe you feel like you’re not alone and being watched (but not in a creepy way).
Your/their special song comes on the radio
Maybe there is a song that reminds you of your d.l.o., or perhaps there was a song that was ‘your’ song, that you both enjoyed listening to, when you were together. If this song comes on the radio (especially if it is not a song that comes on the radio too often, and it happens at a significant moment), this could also be a sign.
Objects are moving around and you’re not moving them
Perhaps a photo of your d.l.o. keeps getting knocked off the wall, or some other item that you associate with your deceased loved one is showing up in odd places or where it shouldn’t. And no-one else put it there. Deceased spirits do have the power to move matter (although not all spirits are capable of it) so if this is happening, it could also be a sign.
You see angel lights or things moving in the corner of your eye
Sometimes I see golden/white/blue/pinks lights that are a bit like fireworks, in my peripheral vision. They go off in a flash but if I look at them directly, they’re gone. For me, this is a sign that a spirit is nearby or trying to get my attention, and I call them ‘angel lights‘ because they are sometimes associated with angels, too. I go through phases with how often I see these lights, sometimes I can go months without seeing one, but if it’s been a while and I see one while thinking about someone who is deceased, for me that’s a sign that that person is with me.
Seeing things moving in the corner of your eye can also be a sign that a deceased loved one is with you. Equally, this could be a sign of an earthbound spirit. Seeing something moving in the corner of your eye should feel comforting, not creepy. If it’s comforting, or is accompanied by some other positive feeling, it’s likely to be your d.l.o.
Conversely, if it creeps you out, and you suspected anyway that you had earthbound spirits around you or in your space, you might need some techniques to clear them (see my book The Empath’s Toolkit for a technique to clear earthbound spirits from your aura.)
OK, back to signs that your loved one is with you:
It’s the anniversary of their death, or your wedding anniversary
All of the above signs are extra significant, if they happen on or around the anniversary of the person’s death, or on another significant date, such as their birthday or your wedding anniversary (if the deceased loved one was your spouse.) In my experience, d.l.o.’s are even more likely to communicate at those times.
So now I’ve gone into some signs that your loved one with with you. What if you don’t see any of these signs but you want to encourage them to check in?
Here are some ideas to encourage communication with them:
Pay attention most of all to your dreams
Dreams are the easiest way for our d.l.o’s to communicate with us, simply because channelling the deceased is like building a bridge. You live in different worlds. You’re in the earthly world and they are on the ‘other side’. To communicate with them, you have to (energetically speaking) build a bridge to their world, and they need to build a bridge to yours. When you dream, you visit the astral planes, which are like a halfway house between the earthly realm, and the ‘other side’. And so this makes it easier for your d.l.o. to get through to you, because they can pop into a dream more easily than they can, say move matter in the physical realm. And it also makes it easier for you to pick up a message because you’re in such a receptive state when you’re asleep and dreaming.
ASK them to make their presence felt
This sounds really obvious but asking them to communicate with you can get the ball rolling. Speak their name, and say it out loud that you want to hear from them. If you’re someone who spooks easily, ask them not to knock your stuff over and startle you!
Develop your psychic abilities
Our deceased loved ones will use any available channels to communicate with us, including our clairvoyance, clairaudience, clairsentience, or claircognizance. Developing and sensitising these clairs gives them more opportunities to contact you. For example, if you develop your clairvoyance, you’re more likely to see the ‘angel lights’ I mentioned above as a sign from your d.l.o.
(If you’d like some help developing your clairs, I have a free e-course at the top of my free resources page.)
Play a song (or songs) that you used to listen to together, or that remind you of the person in question
This can draw your d.l.o closer to you. Doing this before bed may even bring them to you in a dream.
Keep their photo close by
If you haven’t got a photo of your deceased loved one on display in your house, get one up. Keeping a photo next to the bed, may also bring their spirit closer to you when you’re asleep and dreaming.
Hold something that belonged to your person and think about him/her (preferably while you meditate)
Doing that daily or a few times per week can call their spirit in to you.
Visit their grave
This might not be possible at the moment, depending on your circumstances, but they will know you have visited, and it will draw them closer to you.
Ask your friends/family to be aware
If your d.l.o. is not able to get through to you, sometimes he/she will take advantage of another person’s openness, so ask your sensitive or intuitive loved ones or friends to tell you if they have a dream involving your deceased person.
This happened to a friend of mine who lost her husband a few years ago. She was in a situation where she really wished she could talk a situation over with him, that was happening in her life at the time. She would have wanted his input. So, she asked him to come into her dreams or communicate with her, but didn’t get a message from him. I didn’t even know she asked him to communicate, but that night he came into my dreams. He didn’t say anything, I just had a dream where I felt his presence strongly. I messaged her about it in the morning and she felt it was meaningful, especially as she had particularly wanted to hear from him, at that time. Perhaps he hadn’t been able to get through to her for whatever reason and so tried another option.
So. make sure to ask any friends/family who are open to it, to let you know if they dream of your deceased person. Sometimes they won’t tell you if you don’t ask, and then you can miss a message right when you need it.
Recently I received a question from a reader who wrote:
Hi Anna,
“Is it true that everyone always has Spirit Guides? I recently had a reading with someone who channelled my deceased friend but could not find any guides or angels.”
~ Jenny
Hi Jenny,
Yes, in my experience everyone has guides and angels around them.
When an intuitive tunes into you, they may pick up on any one of a variety of different beings around you, including:
Note that some intuitives are naturally going to pick up on a certain type of being more than the others. For example, some are natural born mediums while others are very attuned to the angelic realm.
Here’s a summary of some of these types of being:
Spirit Guides
Spirit Guides are helpful beings that hold a spiritual, expanded perspective of our lives. Even before we incarnate, we will choose the right guides to help us on our path for this lifetime.
Our Spirit Guides know our soul’s characteristics, path, and life challenges. They know what we are here to learn in this lifetime, and their job is to help us to stay on track with paths which align with our soul and life lessons. Accordingly, they give us advice, comfort, and protection in the form of warnings.
They help us to stay on track by communicating with us intuitively, through clairvoyance, clairaudience, clairsentience, and claircognizance. You may feel tingling on your body when you’re impulsed by your guides, or you might just receive information that pops into your brain seemingly from nowhere.
Most people have between four and seven guides around them. If the person is very young, there may only be one or two present, and the others will show up at later points in the person’s life. By maturity, a person usually has all their guides in place.
Sometimes, if a person has a large number of guides, such as six or more, one of the guides may be a temporary guide — one that comes in for a specific purpose, and then leaves again later on. For example, if you need to do a lot of public speaking in your new job, and you’re finding it challenging, you may have a guide who specializes in communication and confidence show up, helping you through that issue. If you’re struggling with something at the moment, you can even request that Spirit send you extra help. This may come in the form of a temporary guide or it could come in another form.
Spirit Guides tend to function as a team, but each one also has an individual role to fulfill. Much like the people around us in the physical, Spirit Guides bring us beneficial energies, even if we’re not entirely conscious of what those energies are. So, for example, if you have a life lesson of moderation (like me), it is likely one of your guides will be helping you with balance. If you’re a very serious person, you will probably have a guide with playful and lighthearted energy. Some guides specialize in relationships and others are more at home with practical day-to-day matters, for instance.
Spirit Guides may have defined genders and usually they have names, too. They come across as male, female or balanced in their energies (androgynous).
They also show up with defined appearances that a clairvoyant can pick up on. Obviously, Spirit Guides do not have a physical aspect but they take an appearance which we resonate with, and which also makes a statement about who they are.
Spirit Guides can also be in the form of animals — I usually find that most clients have at least one animal energy around them.
Spirit Guides are fairly high vibrational, so folks who resonate with these energies (those who have a lot of energy running through the upper chakras) will find it easier to connect with the guides.
Guardian Angels
Everyone has at least two Guardian Angels around them, and some people have more than two.
The role of angels is to protect us physically, emotionally and spiritually. They also comfort and influence us with their loving energies.
They mostly protect us by putting thoughts into our minds. For example, if there’s going to be an accident at an intersection you’re approaching, but it’s not your role to be involved in that accident, your Guardian Angel will give you a really strong urge to stop off for food or gas, so that you avoid it. Or if you’re thinking of getting involved with someone who would not be good for you, your Guardian Angel will influence you to stay away from that person.
In really dire situations, Angels can also manifest in physical form to give assistance (although this is less common, I have heard some amazing stories about such cases.)
Angels do not tend to have names or genders (they are gender neutral) in the same way as Spirit Guides, and they often appear to be hovering in the background, more concerned with their role as spiritual protector than they are with being channeled.
Angels are of an even higher vibration than the guides, and some people are naturally good at picking up a signal on the ‘angel channel’. You can become more attuned to the angels by calling on them often.
Deceased Loved Ones
The next category of being that psychics commonly pick up on is the deceased.
If you should lose a beloved friend or family member, then know that this person is likely to spend time around you even after their death and can be picked up on in much the same way as an intuitive picks up on a Spirit Guide.
Deceased loved ones don’t guide us in exactly the same way as our guides do, but they become our non-physical ‘champions’ from the other side — looking out for us and providing insights and help along the way.
Whether or not an intuitive picks up on a deceased loved one depends on how easy it is for the deceased person to communicate, and it also depends on the skill of the medium.
Connecting with the dead is like building a bridge — both sides need to be able to build their end of the bridge and meet in the middle.
Deceased loved ones resonate at a lower vibration than the angels and guides — it’s almost as if they are closer to the human aspect than the other non-physical beings I’ve talked about in this article. Some people are naturally good at picking up on spirit at this level — and those people tend to be the ones who are rather in tune with their emotional side.
I recently had a reading with an intuitive who only picked up on my deceased cat and my maternal great-grandmother, Ida Sayce, whose surname I adopted when I decided to change my name. This psychic was very attuned with those who have passed. As for me, I’m naturally more in attunement with the angels and guides and communicating with the dead is not something that comes most naturally to me, although I can do it if I need to.
For someone with a natural attunement like that to one type of being, they sometimes need to consciously learn how to tune into the other types.
Want to Learn More?
For those who are interested in learning to tune into a person’s Spirit Guides, angels, ancestors, and other types of beings, you can learn how to do this in my Intuitive Reading Program.
This course teaches you how to tune in and create a portrait of all the different beings around your client — this is a beautiful reading which reminds people that they are not alone on their path through life.
The program also teaches you to channel these beings for other life questions, along with instruction on doing career, relationship and decision readings for clients.
