Anna Sayce

Author: Anna

  • How to Maintain Healthy Boundaries

    How to Maintain Healthy Boundaries

    This week I have a guest post from life coach and blogger Jen Smith.

    Her post is about how to set boundaries with people in relationships. I wrote about boundaries in my article ‘3 Mindsets to Maintain Healthy Boundaries in Relationships’ as this was something that used to affect most of my relationships in a negative way.

    But in this post, Jen goes further into the topic and talks more about HOW you can set boundaries in a practical way and get more control of how others treat you. So if you are someone who values the desires of other people over your own, then I think you’ll find this useful!

    Over to Jen…

    Do you feel that you have healthy boundaries with others or is this something you struggle with? I have noticed in myself and others; especially us ‘spiritual people’ a tendency to sometimes blur those boundaries. Here are some ways to maintain healthy boundaries that I have learned:

    1. We Teach Others How to Treat Us

    I used to find it very difficult to challenge people when they behaved badly towards me. I would justify their behaviour, “try and see the bigger picture” or maybe convince myself that I was somehow to blame. I think a pitfall in the area of personal development is using the idea of taking one hundred per cent responsibility to beat yourself up or to avoid confrontation. Another pitfall is thinking that it is “not spiritual” to be angry or stick up for ourselves.

    We teach others how to treat us.

    You need to realise that you are worth treating well. If you don’t realise that, how will others? If someone treats you badly, you need to let them know and nip it in the bud. Sometimes people don’t realise how they are behaving or the impact of their behaviour on you. By communicating your feelings you can provide the other person with a learning experience. Obviously, people don’t always take feedback well and may not want a learning experience ???? but the most important part of this process is learning that your feelings are important and valuable and taking a stand for yourself.

    2. Don’t Step Over Issues

    I say this from personal experience. As I said when others treated me badly I used to find it hard to deal with it. I would feel nervous and bad. I would analyse the situation to death. If I am honest though, blaming myself was an easier way (to me) than confronting the other person. It wasn’t their fault anyway, was it?! However stepping over the issue never helps anyone. Eventually, by stepping over more and more issues with someone I would feel resentful. I would then become disproportionally angry about things that happened or withdraw. It wasn’t a healthy way to be for myself or others.

    Try and deal with situations as they arise. It is much easier than dealing with a backlog! It gets easier with practice and is the healthier and more straight forward way in the long run.

    3. Set Healthy Boundaries First

    ”What you do speaks so loud that I cannot hear what you say.” — Ralph Waldo Emerson

    Rather than closing the stable door when the horse has bolted, it is much better to create healthy boundaries with others from the off. As the quote above points out, what you do is more important than what you say. It is commonly said that we have ten seconds to make a good first impression with others. We have all met people who without them saying a word have convinced us they are not worth talking to. Your body language, the way you present yourself and self-talk all influence how others perceive you. Do you create a positive or negative impression when people meet you? What are you teaching people about how to treat you? Start telling yourself that you are worth taking care of and take actions to support this.

    4. Let Others Know You Have Changed

    As I said above if we can start relationships with people on a healthy footing all is well and good. However, there will probably be people in your life who are used to dealing with the “old you”. You will need to re-educate them about how to deal with you. I have found sharing my experiences with others has been a helpful way to do this. If you share honestly and authentically about how you’ve been and how you plan to set healthy boundaries, I have found others are interested. Many people struggle with the same issue and you may be able to support each other. Many people may be relieved that you have “got it”. It can be very tiring dealing with People-Pleasers!

    5. Let Unhealthy Relationships Go

    Sometimes other people don’t want us to change or to become more empowered. They might feel it threatens the relationship we have had with them. They are used to your sweet persona that doesn’t stick up for themselves or feel good about themselves and they quite like things that way! The new, assertive and healthy you isn’t as much fun for them. It can take a little while to get used to any change, but if people in your life are consistently trying to pull you back or convince you that you don’t need to do the things you are doing, it might be time to let them go. This can be hard, but by letting unhealthy relationships go you leave room for new relationships, with people who appreciate you for who you really are.

    6. The Most Important Relationship You Have Is With Yourself

    Ultimately the most important relationship you have is with yourself. In my experience, most of us have some room to appreciate ourselves more. Get in the habit of appreciating yourself and cultivating a good relationship with yourself; treat yourself as you would treat your best friend. It will feel good and loving yourself is one of the best things you can do to improve your life.

  • 3 Life and Productivity Lessons I Learned from Creating the Intuitive Awakening Course

    3 Life and Productivity Lessons I Learned from Creating the Intuitive Awakening Course

    In case you’re new here, let me tell you about what I’ve been doing since September 2009.  In short, I’ve been creating the Intuitive Awakening Course. I am very proud of it and so glad to get it finished. It is a complete course that can get you from zero evidence of intuitive ability to actually chatting to your Spirit Guides and Higher Self.  It’s a long course and very thorough, which is why after creating it and releasing it a couple of weeks ago, I was really tired and very sick of the sound of my own voice (after recording, editing and listening to several hours of audio.)

    Hence no blog posts here for the last month or so.

    So, to recover, I’ve taken a holiday and I’ve been hanging out at wineries here in New Zealand (it’s harvest time for the grapes and the air smells of wine!) and seeing friends from the UK who are here on holiday, eating shedloads of food.

    I’ve also been reflecting on the course and what I learned from creating and releasing it.  These are lessons from my business and creation process that I think can be applied across all areas of life – including intuitive development, so I am sharing them here.

    Lesson #1: Fear is normal when doing anything new

    I was absolutely terrified for most of the time when creating my course and thinking about putting it out there.

    My biggest fear was “What if people don’t like it or buy it!?”

    I knew in my logic that the course was great, but I was still scared (fear is irrational and makes no sense!)

    So, it was wonderful when I sold several copies of the course in the first two hours after releasing it, and got feedback from fellow professional intuitives and students that they loved it.  I knew it was good in my head, but I still had the fear.  I hadn’t done anything like this before and it takes time to build confidence.  Next time around, I’ll be less scared because it won’t be uncharted terrain.

    So if you are feeling fear around something, ask yourself: is this the first time I am doing something big like this?  If yes, then you have a right to feel really scared about it.

    But it doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do the thing that you’re scared of doing.  In fact, if you’re feeling fear, it’s a sign you’re probably doing something worthy of you.

    Fear really was my companion in this project right from September through to April, when I released the course, so I’ve had time to re-examine what exactly fear means for me.  Some people say that feeling bad and fearful means you’re going in the wrong direction.  I concluded: if you feel bad and you feel scared, it doesn’t mean you’re off track – often it’s just the opposite.

    Lesson #2: Just Show Up!

    Writing what was effectively a book (along with several hours of audio to accompany it, and meditations) took a lot of continuous work.  I hadn’t done a project that big before.  I do readings, which are usually no longer than 75 minutes and I write articles but those are short-term projects.  I wasn’t used to showing up on a regular basis to work on a larger project.  I like finishing small things because it’s satisfying.  Working on larger projects isn’t satisfying until the end.  But all I had to do was set aside a few hours in my day, and show up, day after day, in spite of the lack of satisfaction.  And the project got finished.

    Basically, I learned that I can do pretty much anything (even if I don’t know how I’m going to do it.)  All I need to do is show up every day and work on it (even if I’m working on HOW I’m going to get there.)  Eventually it gets done.

    Lesson #3: You Can’t Make Much Progress in the Wrong Environment

    I know many people think you’re making an excuse if you say that the reason for not making any changes or progress is that you’re in the wrong environment.

    I don’t think that is an excuse. If you live in an environment that doesn’t support your comfort or well-being, reaching your goals will be so much more difficult and slower. Let me tell you about my experience with this:

    In November 2009, I decided to live in Australia for a year (I’d always wanted to live there.)  I didn’t work on the course for the 3-4 months that I was in Australia.  Most days I woke up and felt bad about it.  The reason why I didn’t work was because I was suffering from exhaustion.  I was not prepared for the hot Brisbane summer and had no air conditioning in my apartment, so I didn’t sleep properly for about 2 and a half months.  Some nights I didn’t sleep at all.  I was sleep deprived and by the time I bought air con, I had decided to leave anyway and go back to New Zealand.

    I also had a huge fear of cockroaches (and they kept getting into my apartment which I hated) but it was mostly the lack of sleep thing.  I was so miserable and tired there.  I have noticed that in the right environment, everything changes.  When I came back to New Zealand, I was able to finish the project quickly.

    If you are stuck but want to create changes in your life and do things you’ve never done before, perhaps a change (or improvements) in your environment is needed.


    Let me know if you have any thoughts on what I’ve written here.

    And if you are interested in developing your intuitive abilities, you might like to check out my new Intuitive Awakening Course.  I believe it is the most complete online course out there for developing your intuitive abilities.  I am proud of it and the students are loving it, so if you’re interested and serious about your intuitive development, come and join us.

  • Positive Thinking & The Law of Attraction – A One Size Fits All Solution That Sometimes Doesn’t Work

    Positive Thinking & The Law of Attraction – A One Size Fits All Solution That Sometimes Doesn’t Work

    How often have you heard these things:

    • All the money you want is yours for the taking
    • You can create anything that you want
    • Your life is meant to be amazing RIGHT NOW
    • You can feel good all the time

    If you read lots of self-help books or books on positive psychology, you have probably heard a lot of this stuff.

    Think positively, and it will affect your world in a positive way.

    This is true AND not true. Depending on who you are (& where you’re at).

    Here’s why:

    There are two forces in your world.

    One is the force of your perception and consciousness.  Once you start viewing things and people through a positive lens, your life and mood can truly change for the better, if you have been in a negative way of thinking and you didn’t need to be.

    The other force is one I come into contact with regularly through readings.  Some people call it karma.  Some people call it fate or destiny.  Some people call it the life plan that you created for yourself before you incarnated, or as you go along. The one that’s for your greatest good and expansion in the long run.

    There is a plan to your life.  This I believe from my own life path so far and from the information I pass on to clients in readings.  If you watch out along the way, you can see little winks from your spirit as you travel it.

    Without wanting to sound deterministic or like things are out of our control, I am saying that these two forces create your world.  One is the force that throws you the lemons and the other is the force that makes lemonade out of the lemons if you choose to.

    The force that throws lemons is not necessarily going to cause everything that happens in your life. And conversely, if the force that throws you lemons gives you a misfortune, it isn’t necessarily because you attracted that through negative thinking.  But it is usually that you chose that on some level, for some reason.

    So, for some people, at certain times in their life, it would be wrong to say that:

    • All the money you want can be yours for the taking
    • You can create anything that you want
    • Your life is meant to be amazing RIGHT NOW
    • You can feel good all the time

    For some people – this is just not true.  And those people will feel like others are bullshitting them when they hear this stuff.  And they’d be right.

    Some people choose a life path where they overcome massive obstacles and experience periods of deep pain and depression.

    Some people have a life path where abundance does not begin to flow for them until they reach their early forties (as an example).

    Some people have a life path where they get a shitty beginning but then it gets better as they mature.  For some people, it’s the reverse.

    And I’m not saying this because I have ‘limiting beliefs’ or because my clients’ Higher selves and Spirit Guides like to make us feel bad. No-one can deny that an average lifetime for an average human being has ups and downs.

    All of this is for a reason.

    For your Higher self or spirit, the thing that usually matters most, is growth.

    Some people intentionally choose nasty experiences that teach them something important for their expansion.  Sometimes those experiences can be super challenging.  I have heard from several sources (some out of body and some incarnated!!) that being incarnated on Earth is one of the greatest of spiritual challenges that we can undertake – a kind of spiritual Everest.

    Because of this, at times, abundance, happiness and joy isn’t always going to flow RIGHT NOW.  In fact, according to my experiences reading for people, these things aren’t our divine right to have 24/7, 365 days of the year, as we are taught by some teachers in the self-help industry.

    We may be longing for abundance while really we are getting a lesson for our highest good in the importance of becoming a more grounded or balanced person in various areas of life.  And things won’t flow until we become that person and learn that lesson. And then that expansion helps us to create more abundance (and other good things) later on.

    I used to offer abundance readings for people to find out what their blocks were to creating more abundance in their life.  I loved doing that reading for people, it was always interesting.  However, I soon got the message that for some people, abundance was not flowing because they were in the middle of a learning experience where they had to do some things long-term over a period of years, in order for it to flow.

    I stopped doing that reading in the end because the client was wanting abundance NOW and the universe wasn’t going to deliver it anytime soon because their Higher self wanted them to learn something (like courage or self-love) and wanted them to expand into something bigger and stronger.  It was not pleasant sometimes explaining that to people.

    And it was a bit disillusioning for people because we so often think that we have a right to all these great things at all times in our life, because other people do.

    But not everyone is walking the same path.

    And that is why self-help/Law of Attraction messages like:

    All the money you want can be yours for the taking

    You can create anything that you want

    Your life is meant to be amazing RIGHT NOW

    You can feel good all the time

    Are true or not true, depending on who you are and what kind of period you’re going through in your life, and depending on whether that force we called fate/karma/your life plan is throwing a spanner in the works for you.

    We all grow at different paces and we all choose different experiences, before we even get here.

    Some of what the self-help industry advocates does not honour that, which is why it sometimes will not work for you.

    To temper this, I want to say that:

    On the other hand, knowing WHEN to use positive thinking and making things happen through the pure force of your will is a great thing.  It has its place of course.

    What do you think about this? Leave me a comment if you have something to say in response.

  • What Are Your Soul Gifts?

    What Are Your Soul Gifts?

    When people think of life purpose, they often think it’s a mission – something they have to do or teach. People often come for a career reading wanting to be told about some teaching they have to impart to the world.

    While it IS true that some people do have a very clear message to share with the world, I have also learned (from doing career readings) that not everyone has a ‘message’ or specific teaching to share with the world, that they must share in a certain context (like teaching people to develop their psychic abilities or helping authors to self publish their books.)

    BUT on the other hand, what everyone does have is a collection of gifts that they can use in any career setting or context (and in other areas of their life too, such as relationships.)

    What Are Soul Gifts?

    Often when I do a reading for someone, there will be a few main gifts that the client has, which never change, and which are central to their life purpose their whole life.  Your soul will be urging you to use these gifts so they are not just soul gifts, they are soul urges. They are not just gifts – they are soul gifts because they come from your soul’s past experiences and trainings.

    Let’s say a client has three main gifts which are an ability to teach, intuition and compassion/ a humanitarian streak.  The client has known, on a subconscious level, all their life that they have those gifts.  And when they are doing a job that doesn’t use those gifts, they notice it and they feel unfulfilled, even if they don’t know exactly what is missing.

    (As an aside, if you currently feel unfulfilled in your work, it’s because you aren’t using your gifts fully!)

    So, how can you know what your soul gifts are?

    Here are some really common soul gifts that I have come across – see if you can relate to some of these for starters:

    Healing – you might have this gift if you are drawn to helping others to feel better and heal themselves emotionally.  Maybe you attract many people into your life who are wounded in some way.  Perhaps you are someone who gets a lot of satisfaction in ‘fixing’ situations and seeing them made better.  Obviously, this applies to physical healing too.  If you are someone who constantly wants to rescue, improve and heal your partner, lovers or friends, then you are probably a healer who hasn’t found a way to express this gift apart from in your relationships.

    Teaching/mentoring – teachers cannot help but teach and guide.  You might have this gift if you learn something and then always REALLY want to tell other people about it.  You get great satisfaction out of empowering other people through passing on your knowledge – you like knowing that they can now do something they couldn’t do before.  You are good at explaining things to people.

    Nurturing and supporting – these people LOVE to be there for others.  They love to provide an environment in which other people can thrive.  They love to look after other people and get a lot of fulfillment from seeing others happy.  These people sometimes express this gift through looking after animals and children.

    Leadership – these people like to show others new possibilities and new, more effective ways of doing things.  They often like breaking out of the mould and going against the grain.  They teach us courage and that it’s OK to be different.

    Communicator – these people teach, educate others, spark new thought processes, tell stories, pass on knowledge, information and wisdom, but they like to do it in a ‘one-to-many’ way, through speaking, writing books, journalism and blogging.

    Inspiring – Inspirers motivate people, open their minds, excite them, show them the vast realm of possibilities (often through spiritual teachings), show them the bigger picture and encourage them to take action (although these people may not necessarily be spiritual people.)

    There are around fifteen more soul gifts (some of them overlapping) that I have come across in the course of reading people’s Akashic  soul records and energy fields.

    Remember, if you want to know what your life purpose is through your soul gifts, the easiest thing to do is look at what brings you satisfaction. If something brings you great fulfilment to do, it is utilizing a gift of your soul that is central to your life purpose. And if you are unfulfilled and unhappy in your career, it’s because you’re missing the expression of one or more of your most important gifts.

    Where do soul gifts come from?

    Our soul gifts generally come from our soul group of origin, our past lives, the trainings that we have done in between lifetimes (see Michael Newton’s books for more on this) and our archetypes.

    Are you interested in learning more about your soul gifts? One of the best ways to do so is through an Akashic Record Reading, which you can find out more about here.

    And you can read more about what is covered in an Akashic Record Reading by visiting this page.

  • How to Stay Grounded on Your Spiritual Path

    How to Stay Grounded on Your Spiritual Path

    Prior to writing this article, I wrote a post entitled – Are You Out Of Balance With Your Spirituality?

    In that article, I listed some symptoms of being out of balance with spirituality.

    What does it mean to be out of balance with spirituality?

    If you’re out of balance with spirituality, it means that you are giving the spiritual side of existence too much importance in your life.  You may spend all your time focusing on activities such as psychic development and being immersed in that which is supernatural or otherworldly.

    You may find it difficult to relate to the rest of the world (when it’s not about personal or spiritual development).  And you may take your spirituality so seriously that you have forgotten to have fun in life too. If you are imbalanced in your spirituality, you may also find that you have neglected other, more earthly areas of your life such as making money and your social life.

    If you relate to this description, then I advise that you read that article about spiritual imbalance before you continue reading this article about how to overcome it.

    Steps to balance yourself (without losing your spirituality)

    If you recognize that you are out of balance, here are some lifestyle changes to help bring more balance back into your life.  I’m sure you’ve heard recommendations to ground yourself such as ‘walk on the grass in bare feet’ etc.  Those suggestions are good for people with a temporary imbalance but they are not good for people who are totally out of balance – such people will need to take bigger steps to redress the imbalance.

    Note that one of the most effective ways to become more grounded is to get a healing session (such as a cord-cutting) and at the beginning of the session, set the intention to bring about more balance between your lower and upper chakras. Cutting a cord to someone who has caused you trauma or pain can make it easier for you to come back into your body.

    Apart from that, here are some lifestyle suggestions to help bring more balance into your life:

    Symptom of Imbalance #1: You feel lightheaded and spacey in your body

    Suggestion: Check in with your eating habits.

    Your eating habits can either help tether you to the earth plane or they can destabilize and unground you.

    Both veganism and raw veganism I find to be ungrounding for me, personally. Often people ask during Spirit Guide coaching if a raw or high raw vegan diet is right for them at this time and the answer is usually something along the lines of ‘no, not unless you are willing to suffer some imbalance.’ Being on that kind of diet as a psychic or very spiritual person requires a very strong foundation and a good connection to reality. If you don’t have that, it will unbalance you.

    I bring this issue up because many people do become drawn to a really pure and light diet when they begin to get interested in spirituality or psychic development.  When you open your upper chakras, you might be drawn to giving up meat (the meat-eating students on my Spirit Guides coaching course often tell me that they notice an aversion to meat as the weeks go by).

    Then as people become even more sensitive, they may be drawn to giving up fish.  Then some people take it one step further and give up animal products.  Some then feel drawn to giving up cooked food and become raw vegans.  This is a natural (but rather extreme) progression and one I went through about 18 months ago.  First, I was vegetarian, then vegan for a while, then I tried raw veganism for 2-3 weeks, twice.  Now I have come full circle and I’m eating fish and chicken again. Some people have arguments against eating meat but this is the most grounding diet for me personally.

    Other ways to unground yourself with your diet include…

    Not eating enough and not eating regularly.  Eating three good meals daily and at regular intervals is more grounding than eating small snacks here and there because it sends your energy out of your head and into your digestive system on a regular basis.  If you miss meals regularly or if you fast, it isn’t good for the lower chakras – or put in a non-jargon way, it’s bad for you as a human being who is trying to stay tethered to the Earth plane.  Regular eating connects us to the earth.

    Symptom of Imbalance #2: You neglect your body habitually and you don’t care about your personal appearance

    Another Suggestion: Pay more attention to your body

    A great way to take your focus away from your upper chakras and put it on your lower chakras is to pamper your body (on an ongoing basis) and really pay it some attention.

    Ways to do this include: spending more time and money on grooming – getting a new haircut, painting your nails; getting a pedicure or manicure; updating your wardrobe (throwing out all your old clothes that you no longer wear and getting some new ones that you love wearing and which make you feel great).  Investing money and energy on your appearance and the way you feel in your body (instead of investing it in psychic development, spiritual growth or some such thing) will help to move energy out of your upper chakras.  If you’re very out of balance, it might be a good idea to set aside some of your budget each month especially to celebrate and take care of your physicality and beauty.

    chiuhuahuaI know that this may seem not a very appealing task, especially if it’s the middle of winter and you have no money but those are the times when you really need to go shopping (even if it’s to the thrift/charity shop).  I myself have been guilty of wearing jogging bottoms to work and brown and black all the time (especially in the winter and seeing as I work from home).  But it’s great for your sacral chakra if you can dress up in something beautiful and colourful more often, and allow yourself to wear nice things even if you’re not leaving the house.

    You have probably seen those TV shows where they take a drab, unhappy-looking person and turn them into someone who looks and feels ten times better because of their haircut and the way they dress.  That’s the power of spending time and money on your appearance – it gives yourself and others the message ‘I honour, love and celebrate my physical aspect.’  And that’s important if you are out of balance with spirituality.

    Another way to honour your physicality is to exercise regularly – walking is OK but something that raises your heart rate on a regular basis is even better.  I walk a couple of miles per day but presently I don’t have activities such as cardio which raise my heart rate.  I have done it in the past, though and I have noticed the difference it makes to feeling physically present.

    Symptom of Imbalance #3: You spend loads of time working on your beliefs, goals and plans but you rarely create real change in your life or accomplish anything

    Suggestion: Get out of your head and just take the next obvious step in front of you.

    When you have a lot of energy in your upper chakras, you may need to get something done, but you can be stuck in planning, visualizing, dreaming, theorizing, tying yourself up in knots and going nowhere fast with that.  At those times, you will need to turn your brain and mind’s eye off and just ask yourself – what is the next step that I could take now to move towards what I want (even if it is really a baby step).  And take it.  That takes you straight out of the realm of ideas and into the realm of action.

    Symptom of Imbalance #4: The world seems like a very harsh and tragic place all the time

    Suggestion: Stop taking everything so seriously and go and have some fun (this stimulates the sacral chakra)

    Spiritual, empathic people can feel people’s plight and are often thinking about how to save the world.  From there it’s not an easy transition to having fun and seeing the light side of life, yet you need that too as a human being.  Remember that life is not just a school and your purpose isn’t to save the world from itself.  Life is also a fun playground, so switch off from your spiritual mission and make sure you do something that really tickles you regularly.  This isn’t about going for a walk on your own or something dull like that.  I mean real fun.  Go and see a stand-up comedy act, see a friend who makes you laugh really hard, go dancing, etc.  Connect with the fun and playful you.  Find something that you can do regularly in your week to fill this need for fun and playing.

    Symptom of Imbalance #5: You are neglecting the practical side of your life

    Suggestion: Focus attention on your finances and physical survival (stimulates the root chakra)

    Paperwork Overload Checking your bank balance every day is good because it connects you to your financial reality.  Making a budget is very grounding because it reins your energy in and makes you aware of your present limitations.

    Cleaning, organizing and tidying are especially good for grounding, as is attending to errands and all those little jobs you have been meaning to do for a while. Preparing food, cooking and baking are all very grounding too. All those aspects of physical life are what you need to attend to, in order to stay grounded.

    FINALLY…

    All this talk of cooking, baking and budgeting is all helpful stuff to some degree, but let’s get to the heart of the issue.

    If you are out of balance with your spirituality, you might be running away from something or someone. Imbalanced spirituality can become a form of escapism.

    What are you trying to escape from?

    It could be a past situation that is too difficult to address and process in a normal, human, emotional way, so you spiritualize it. It could be someone who hurt you.

    Here’s a good way of knowing what you could be escaping from:

    • What is the thing you still cry about for seemingly no reason? (especially when you’re ill or feeling down)
    • What do you dislike about your life that you want to change?

    At some point, we all have wounds that make us want to stay in bed and hide away from the world. There are very few people who reach a certain age and have no wounds at all. Find out what yours are and address them in an emotional way. We can resolve things on the level of spirit, but we must bring the healing down into the emotional and physical plane for anything to change. Sometimes action needs to be taken to put them to bed.

    Update 2018: I have found that the most common reason for being out of balance with one’s spirituality is trauma. Therefore, to get to the root of this issue, consider what traumas you may be carrying. If you’re interested in exploring this further, check out my book, The Empath’s Toolkit. 

    And if you feel your spiritual imbalance is connected to something traumatic that happened in the past (or to someone else), you might want to think about booking a cord cutting session. I am passionate about this technique because it is the one that has helped me most with becoming more grounded.

  • Is Your Spirituality Making You Unbalanced?

    Is Your Spirituality Making You Unbalanced?

    Could you be using your spirituality to escape from life, just like people use alcohol and drugs? It’s definitely possible to abuse spirituality and this article will help you to diagnose it.

    Can you relate to any of the following?

    • You don’t like paying attention to real-world matters (like finances) – you’d rather be working on your personal or spiritual development.
    • You sometimes use your spirituality as a form of escapism. For example, you learn about the Law of Attraction and feel great about all the possibilities and the potential. But you fail to create anything tangible from it (so you exist perpetually in the realm of ideas rather than action.)
    • You are not comfortable here on Earth and the world seems very harsh to you.
    • You prefer to hang around with people who are very spiritual, like you and you avoid having friends who don’t share your world view.
    • If you could, you’d happily erase from your existence some aspects of physical life – like having to eat, wash and support yourself.
    • You spend a lot of time thinking about how to create your utopian vision for life here on Earth and you find it difficult accept the state of things here on Earth.
    • You have a strong tendency to be reclusive and you spend a lot of time in introspection.
    • You like meditating for hours on end.
    • You get frustrated at how slow everything moves in the physical plane and the effort and time it takes to make things happen.
    • Your sense of purpose and spiritual mission is at the forefront of your life and you think you’re a lightworker.
    • You are very empathic/intuitive and pick up negative ‘stuff’ from other people all the time (one more good reason for being reclusive!)

    How did you do?  If you could relate to more than six or seven statements (most importantly – the first five), I’d venture to say that your strong sense of spirituality may be stopping you from living your life fully.

    What does it mean when you’re out of balance with your spirituality?

    It means that you live for (and enjoy) spiritual experiences more than you enjoy human experiences.  In terms of your energy body, your upper chakras will be very open, with a lot of energy running through them while your lower chakras are neglected and small.

    In case you don’t know what I mean by over-developed upper chakras and under-developed lower chakras, here’s a quick guide to the chakra system:

    Chakras are energy centres in the human energy body. (The energy body is a reflection of the physical body and our life here on Earth.) Much of the information in your energy body is organized and centred at these chakras, which are located in certain places in your body. Here is some information on each chakra:

    sacred chakra

    • Root chakra (red) – governs survival, safety, home, money, family, connection to reality. (Located at the perineum.)
    • Sacral chakra (orange) – governs sexuality, emotions, sensuality, vitality, creativity. (Located just below the belly button.)
    • Solar plexus chakra (yellow) – governs personal power, self-control, getting things done. (Located just above the belly button.)
    • Heart chakra (green) – governs self-love, self-care, self-acceptance, self-worth. (Located over the breastbone.)
    • Throat chakra (blue) – governs self-expression and communication; speaking and listening. (Located at the throat.)
    • Third eye chakra (lilac) – Intuition and truth. (Located between the eyebrows.)
    • Crown chakra (white) – Connection to Spirit and your Higher self. (Located just above the head.)

    (Note: for more information on the energy body, you might like to check out this article: What is the Energy Body? & How to Read it)

    Back to the chakras….

    Note that those aspects of life which are down-to-earth, human, basic, and grounded are all governed by the lower chakras (the root, sacral, and solar plexus chakras):

    • Money (root/sacral chakra)
    • Connection to (sometimes) cold and harsh reality (root chakra)
    • Sensuality/sexuality (sacral chakra)
    • Sense of belonging, family and community (root chakra)
    • Enjoyment, laughter and fun (sacral chakra)
    • Making things happen in the real world (solar plexus)
    • Nutrition and physical nourishment (root chakra)
    • Routines and habits (root chakra)

    On the other hand, the upper chakras (crown, third-eye and throat chakras) govern aspects of life such as:

    • Daydreaming (third eye chakra)
    • Mental activity and intellectualizing
    • Connecting with God, Spirit, the Angels, Spirit Guides (crown chakra/third eye)
    • Psychic experiences such as clairvoyance or clairaudience
    • Giving to, caring for and serving others (heart chakra)
    • Spiritual teaching (throat chakra)
    • Writing and speaking (throat chakra)
    • Introspection and solitude
    • Healing

    When you focus a great deal (for a prolonged period) on the activities which are governed by the upper chakras (like psychic development and introspection), it will shift your focus and energy away from the lower chakras (which govern your connection to reality and the real world). This can result in the symptoms mentioned at the beginning of this article.

    What kind of person gets out of balance with their spirituality?

    Some people who are very drawn to spirituality can find it difficult to embrace the human experience fully. In fact, some spiritual people don’t like being human and the human condition is frustrating to them.

    Being human can feel pretty bad at first to a huge, expansive spirit who is used to whizzing around in the ether.  (Maybe that is why babies scream so much when they are born!)  It feels very confining to suddenly find yourself in a physical body. Unlike being in the ether (where things manifest as quickly as you think of them), things don’t happen as quickly as you want, and you have to make an effort here. You are encumbered by a body which is your vessel for experiencing human life.  And your body needs fuel otherwise you can’t function, so you are slowed down by the demands of your body from birth. In addition, you are slowed down by that pesky issue of money and physical resources.

    Modern-Day Renunciates

    If you were incarnated five hundred years ago and mostly concerned with the activities listed above which stimulate the upper chakras (like connecting with spirit, healing and spiritual service) you would probably have chosen a religious or spiritual path of service in that lifetime. You’d be a monk or a nun of some description.  You’d be able to deliberately forget about the physical aspects of your life – like money and feeding yourself – because your religious order would take care of them for you. In fact, there would be no negative, real-world consequences to neglecting your physical life because the support system would be in place to pick up the slack from you neglecting it.

    I believe that if you identify as a lightworker and feel a strong sense of spiritual mission in this lifetime, you are among those souls who HAVE incarnated countless times in a lifetime of spiritual service – such as a nun, monk, oracle, druid or spiritual teacher (to give a few examples).

    In the end, what we are all working towards is a balance between the spiritual and the physical.  We came here to be incarnated and to enjoy the physical plane as fully as we can, while keeping a connection to spirit.

    Conclusions

    Spirituality should not consume your life to the detriment of the human aspects, unless you choose the life of a renunciate, where your physical needs are taken care of by others. You can have a strong calling for spiritual service and live a full, rich life which honours all of the facets of being human.  That means accepting and enjoying all the human, physical functions too.

    How I realized that I was out of balance

    The first time I had my palm read a few years ago, the reader told me I was ‘barely here’.  I didn’t know what he meant straight away.  To clarify, he told me that I didn’t like earthly life very much.  I was here reluctantly, and wasn’t willing to engage with all aspects of life.

    I would have made a really great nun because I started going to church around the age of ten/eleven on my own – (I felt called to go.) Since the age of 13, I was having (and seeking) spiritual and psychic experiences.  (You can read more about my early experiences here.)

    In my late teens, I was able to tap into my spirit (or Higher self) to such an extent that I’d feel amazingly expansive, high and able to take on the world.  Connecting to spirit brought feelings of bliss, ecstasy and connection with everything.  I had the ability to see the beauty and spirit in everything.  When I wasn’t happy in my life, I’d escape into this world. It was like putting on a pair of tinted, rose-coloured spectacles.

    This was an enchanting but also very isolating path for a teenage girl to take.  I didn’t know anyone besides my Grandmother who knew about connecting to spirit and getting high on that (and we’re not talking the liquor kind either!)  It felt like no-one really could relate to me.

    In addition, at the time, life got a little bit harsher.  Some traumatic things happened in my family that I wanted to escape from, and I escaped them by sleeping for up to 16 hours at a time when I could.   When I turned 17, I escaped them by running away and travelling and that is a pattern that I was still in, eight years later.   When I was 19, my family moved to New Zealand (without me) and as weird as it may sound, I was glad. There was no more drama in my family, plus I had my Spirit Guides and my connection to spirit and whatever bad stuff happened to me, I felt I would be OK because of that.

    But on the negative side, I was SO spiritually focused and needed the spiritual support so much, that I became dizzy, impractical, absent.  I was away with the fairies and in another realm, with my upper chakras wide open and my lower chakras (my emotional and human life) completely neglected.  I did the bare minimum to keep my human, physical life ticking along.

    Losing my Roots

    To make matters worse, when my parents moved away, it removed a solid foundation from my life because I lost my family overnight and I didn’t see them for a long time.  That further weakened my connection to the Earth plane, and sense of belonging somewhere.  A couple of years later, I became involved in healing and psychic work, worked from home and bam – some time last year I realized I had become a nun, but without the support of a religious order. I must have seemed reclusive, fragile and a bit otherworldly because I was so ungrounded.

    Since then I have been working on opening up my lower chakras and agreeing to fully engage with life – all aspects of it. But I had to suffer a lot emotionally before I realized that was necessary.  The suffering I went through was perhaps necessary for me to be sufficiently motivated to finally break an old vow of spiritual service to the exclusion of everything else

    Can you relate to this?

    Here is the second article in this series: How to Stay Grounded on Your Spiritual Path

    Update 2018: I have found that the most common reason for being out of balance with one’s spirituality is trauma. Therefore, to get to the root of this issue, consider what traumas you may be carrying. If you’re interested in exploring this further, check out my book, The Empath’s Toolkit. 

  • How to Turn Off Psychic Abilities

    How to Turn Off Psychic Abilities

    So you are beginning to work on awakening your psychic abilities.  And you’re making progress.  Perhaps you are feeling your chakras opening and tingling, maybe you are seeing things in the corner of your eye moving and having clairaudient experiences.

    It’s all quite exciting.

    Except it’s happening all the time and it’s overwhelming.

    What can you do to shut it down?

    If you are feeling you need to tone down your psychic awareness, it’s because you’ve got too much energy running through your third eye and crown chakra. (Check out this article if you’re not too familiar with the chakra system.)

    This is because you have opened your third eye and maybe it hasn’t been open for a long time. So it’s running amok a little bit.  Here’s what to do in that situation:

    1. Get a clear process for shutting down your energy field – and use it

    If you want to be able to turn your psychic abilities off at will, you need a clear process for turning them off (AND for turning them on.)

    When I tune into people’s spirit guides/energy body, I open up my chakras, and raise my vibration in order to connect.  I have a process for doing it (which I teach in my Intuitive Awakening Course) and I have a process that I do afterwards to close my chakras and come back into my body.  If I don’t do that process, I wouldn’t be closing down my psychic awareness.

    My process consists of:

    • Thanking my client’s guides and my guides for being present
    • Closing my chakras – all you need to do for this is visualize your chakras closing in your mind’s eye, one by one.
    • See my energy coming out of the ethers and coming back into my body.
    • Cut all psychic ties with the client and separating my aura from the client’s aura
    • Declare to myself that the reading is over and my psychic senses are now shut down.  I am not wearing my psychic hat.

    I really have to mean the last step.  I say that because sometimes I don’t want to close down. Let’s face it – being connected to your guides and receiving information can feel pretty cool.  And you can go around on that psychic high for days feeling connected and hooked in.  That’s not normal, real life though.  So that’s why I say you have to mean the last step. You really have to want to disconnect from your psychic awareness and shut it down for this to work.

    If you have an opening up process, you know you can connect again when you want to, so don’t be afraid to close it down.

    And remember that your energy is entirely within your control. You control it through your intentions – conscious and subconscious. Turning off psychic abilities after a while becomes like flicking a switch, through intention.

    2. Get out of your head and out of your third eye

    Secondly, for all the time and attention you’re spending on your psychic and spiritual development, make sure you spend just as much time and attention on your physical human life, for balance.

    Your third eye can’t stay open permanently if you are putting your attention elsewhere, on more human, mundane matters.  Your energy can’t be all in your third eye and in your head if it’s focused and distributed elsewhere – like in your lower chakras.

    Here are some small ways to stimulate the lower chakras:

    • Pay attention to the details of your physical life – if your home is full of clutter or dirty, do some organizing and cleaning.  That stimulates your root chakra.
    • Pay attention to your finances.  Pay your bills and check your bank balance.  Make a budget if you need to.  Don’t let the details of your human life escape you even if they seem really boring.
    • Do some exercise – even if it’s just a walk.
    • Get a Massage.

    3. Get out of your head (as a way of life)

    Being in balance with your psychic abilities is a way of life.  It’s not about a quick fix to ground you here and there.  If you are someone who is consistently engaging with the psychic and spiritual realms, you must be as dedicated to your physical life too – and pay it just as much attention, if not more.

    I know this because I spend a few hours a day in the psychic realm and I know what it is like to be on a high from that.  But that high doesn’t last.  And life will bring you back down to Earth from it (with a nasty bump) if you don’t counterbalance psychic work with being human and in your body.

    Being human involves spending time on your human relationships and getting back into the real world afterwards.  That is, unless you want to live as a renunciate or a monk.

    I’m pretty sure I did that last time I was here so that life holds no appeal for me. 🙂

    If all else fails, if you have lots of energy running through your third eye and you feel like can’t switch it off, take a bath with a cup of sea salt or Epsom salts in it.  That is a good temporary fix to settle your energy.

  • Do Psychics Know Everything? – The Limitations of Psychic Abilities

    Do Psychics Know Everything? – The Limitations of Psychic Abilities

    If you have been following my blog or Facebook page, you’ll know that I have just moved to a new country (Australia) and a new city (Brisbane).  Over the last two weeks I’ve met a lot of new people who have asked me about what I do.

    Telling people you’re a professional intuitive is usually something that either kills conversation fairly quickly or sparks off a series of interested questions.  Luckily for me most of the people I have spoken to have been interested in my work and open to it.

    The most common questions/reactions are:

    • Do you know everything?  Do you already know everything about me just from talking to me?
    • How many fingers am I holding behind my back? or what did I have for dinner last night?

    Some people seem to think that being psychic means being all knowing and omniscient about other people. Actually, this is a common misconception.

    Being psychic means you get ONLY the information you NEED from Spirit, as you need it. Information that you need = information that helps you or someone else on their path; information that’s relevant and helpful.

    It’s not a party trick.

    Some psychics may have experienced something different, but for me there really NEEDS to be a reason for me to get the information I get.  When I meet people, I can often tell a lot about who they are and what they’re like.  I can sometimes hear thoughts. But I never really get a whole lot of information that I don’t NEED and I definitely don’t get to invade anyone’s privacy or get a peek into something I’m not meant to.

    On the other hand, reading for someone is easy because the client gives me permission to read for them and there is certain information that they need to have.

    But I can’t tell how many fingers someone is holding behind their back.  I can’t usually tell you what you had for dinner.  I can’t tell you the lottery numbers if you don’t need to win the lottery right now (and most of us really don’t!)

    So, when it comes to psychic information, you get the information you’re meant to get. And what you think you need to know is not necessarily what you need to know.

    So, if you want to be psychic, surrender to the Spirit in you. Don’t assume you need to know certain things. Ask Spirit to give you the information that is really HELPFUL and RELEVANT to your life and to the lives of those around you – to help you to live your most joyful and fulfilling life.  Or put another way, to help you to live your highest path and purpose.

    And don’t ask to be able to read people’s minds or to know the lottery numbers because it’s mostly inappropriate and useless information anyway.

    Does being psychic mean you become enlightened and omniscient about your own life?

    Another interesting lesson that I have been learning in the last month or so is that being psychic doesn’t mean you can sail through life knowing anything you want to. Sometimes you fall flat on your face.

    No psychic is going to be 100% correct all the time, but I do spend my days reading for people and telling them information they tell me is correct, the vast majority of the time. Out of the 400-450 people I’ve read for, I’ve only had a handful tell me they really didn’t resonate with what I told them.

    But when it comes to my own stuff and life, I can sometimes have a big blind spot – especially if there is a lesson in it for me.

    I went through a lesson in these last two weeks where I formed prejudices about someone I just met and it turned out to be completely and utterly wrong as far as I can see now.  Falling flat on your face is very good because it brings you back down to earth.  Otherwise you can perhaps think you are right about everything in your own life, and then it’s game over – there’s nothing to learn because you have access to everything.  And of course that’s not how it’s meant to be.

    In addition, I had a situation this week where I was looking for an apartment with my mother. We arranged to see an apartment and I assumed before I got there that it was going to be unsuitable. Most of my assumptions are intuitive, helpful ones.  But when I got there, it turned out to be the apartment I wanted and it ticked all the boxes.  I got it wrong for a reason – because there was a lesson in it for me which was: don’t allow all of your initial impressions to close your mind – especially if you have nothing to lose just by checking something out and exploring it.

    That is, unless you have a very strong feeling to stay away from something or someone. Those feelings of dread or repulsion in your gut always need to be heeded.

    So, if you want to be psychic, surrender to your spirit. You must also be open to getting it wrong and having your view of things expanded – especially when it comes to your own life and ‘stuff’.

    Being psychic is NOT about knowing everything or having ‘the Truth’.  It’s about getting only the information you personally need, when you need it.

  • Can Anyone Really Be Psychic?

    Can Anyone Really Be Psychic?

    I sometimes hear from people who believe that either you naturally have psychic ability or you don’t. And if you don’t have it, you struggle to develop it.

    This is a common belief about psychic ability and although I can understand why people think this, I believe that it’s totally untrue.

    Yes – there are some people who are born with a high degree of psychic ability that they retain throughout life

    BUT there are also people who are born with a little bit of obvious psychic ability that they later develop to something impressive

    AND there are people who seem to have no psychic ability and then develop some.

    I’ve seen all three scenarios.

    So basically, as with most things, everyone’s experiences of this vary.

    But before I go debating whether anyone can be psychic, it would probably help to define what ‘psychic’ actually means.

    What does it mean to be psychic?

    Being psychic is the ability to obtain information from spirit (from someone’s energy body, your Higher self or Spirit Guides).

    There are several ways in which to be psychic –

    • You can be clairvoyant (and ‘see’ things)
    • You can be clairaudient (and hear things)
    • You can be clairsentient (you get lots of hunches and gut feelings.)
    • You can be claircognizant (you just get information popping into your head.)
    • You can be an empath (and have the ability to place yourself into the experience of another person and feel their emotions and desires.)
    • You can get information from dreams.

    There are many more gifts than the ones I mention here – it’s not an exhaustive list.  (If you have a specific gift that isn’t mentioned here, maybe leave a comment and tell us about it.)

    Some of these gifts seem more obviously ‘psychic’ than others – I’m thinking of clairvoyance and clairaudience in particular.  And some are thought of as more ‘intuitive’ – like hunches and gut feelings.  But it’s all information from spirit, coming to you in some form.  And that’s what we call being psychic.

    The above gifts will fall into one of three categories for you.

    The first category = gifts you naturally have.

    For example, my natural gifts are claircognizance and empathy.  I can put myself into someone else’s experience without even trying (empathy) and know exactly what it feels like to be them.  And during readings I get information about people popping into my brain as if it’s from nowhere.  I also know a lot about the people around me without them needing to tell me.

    The second category = gifts you don’t naturally have but can develop.  For me, those gifts have been clairvoyance and clairaudience. Although I can use them easily during readings, it does feel a little different from using my natural gifts – a bit like driving a manual car when I’m used to automatic.  I have to think about what I’m doing – it’s more conscious.

    The third category = gifts you’ll never develop.  I have heard that empathy as a psychic gift is the only gift it’s impossible to develop if you don’t have it naturally. In my experience training students to develop their abilities, it’s true. Some students were able to ‘tune in’ to others empathically and others just couldn’t do it no matter how hard they tried.

    Why I Think Anyone Can Be Psychic

    I have learned that anyone can be psychic from my own experiences and my experiences teaching (or rather, helping others rediscover) their psychic ability.  I’ll talk more about those experiences in a moment.

    In terms of theory, the reason why everyone can be psychic is because everyone has a soul.  We are spiritual beings in a human experience.  (Your soul is also sometimes called your Higher self or your spirit.)

    You are wired to keep in contact with your Higher self (and Spirit Guides) while you’re in your physical experience that you call life.  If you don’t stay in contact with your higher self, you can get very off-track in your life and go down roads that bring you no joy.  So, your Higher self will impulse and communicate with you in various ways about what to do and where to go.

    So, for me, saying that not everyone can be psychic is a bit like saying that not everyone has a soul! Obviously we all have souls and we can all have that connection to spirit.

    My Own Experiences

    I grew up knowing that I was very sensitive and empathic, but I couldn’t always use my abilities on demand to know stuff.  Yes, they were there to some degree but I was nowhere near as psychic as I am now.  I also went for long periods without seeing much sign of them at all, earlier on in life.  I later developed my abilities to a higher level through practice.

    I have also read for and coached dozens of people who thought that they were not particularly psychic – and then realized they did have the ability.  They managed to awaken their most natural gifts and even try out using some that weren’t natural to them. Towards the end of the Intuitive Awakening Course, I get some of the students on the course to read for one another.  And they always surprise themselves with what they are able to do.   And most of these people didn’t think of themselves as especially gifted when they started.

    There are certainly some factors that contribute towards the level of psychic ability you can reach. Here are some of them (along with some that really don’t!):

    Motivation

    I would say that the most important factor that contributes towards the level of ability you develop is motivation and life purpose.  A good level of psychic ability is available to everyone, but how many people with dormant abilities are actually motivated to do the work and find out how to get there? Those who are feeling motivated to develop their psychic abilities often feel it’s part of their life purpose and are driven – they can’t not do it.

    Sex/Gender

    Another factor that people sometimes ask about is sex/gender – are women more likely to develop psychic ability than men?  I have gotten more women taking my course than men.  I am not sure why that is.  But I’d say that the only (conditioned) difference between men and woman is that women are sometimes more in touch with their emotions, so they can sometimes be more open to spirit in that regard.  But of course, that’s not true for everyone – it is just a conditioned tendency resulting from our culture.

    (For more on the role of that when developing your intuitive side, check out this article: Are Women More Intuitive Than Men?)

    Your Beliefs

    Other factors that do make a difference are your beliefs and how open-minded you are.  Remember that the Law of Attraction underlies everything so if you don’t make room in your belief system for psychic experiences, you won’t see them. Someone who believes is much more likely to develop a high level of ability than someone who doubts a great deal.

    Ability to Quieten the Mind

    Another factor is how good you are at being still in your mind.  But some people, myself included, have a lot of nervous energy and find it hard to create that space of stillness and quiet in the mind. But meditation actually really helps with this and you can learn to create stillness in your life for psychic insights.  However, those who are naturally good at this have a higher chance of getting insights spontaneously, because intuitive information comes through gaps in your thoughts.

    Finally, people sometimes ask if aspects of your astrological chart make it easier for you to develop a high level of psychic ability.  I am not an astrologer but have heard that certain aspects to Neptune in the chart are an indication of ease for developing psychic ability.  Some people say that if you have a lot of water in your chart (Cancer, Scorpio, Pisces) it demonstrates a good connection to your emotions and perhaps to your Higher self.  As I said, I am not an astrologer but if you know a lot about psychic ability showing up in the natal chart, please give us your take on this.

    So, there you have it.  That’s my take on developing psychic ability: I believe that in general it’s a fundamental human skill – not so much a gift.

  • My Story – Early Psychic Experiences, Overcoming my Fear of Spirits, Finding my Life Purpose & Becoming a Professional Intuitive

    My Story – Early Psychic Experiences, Overcoming my Fear of Spirits, Finding my Life Purpose & Becoming a Professional Intuitive

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    Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5

    Early Psychic Experiences

    I have written this account of my psychic journey because I am often asked the question ‘Were you always psychic?’

    It begins at age six really, because I cannot remember any specific psychic experiences before the age of six.

    I know I was always very sensitive and I would say my strongest psychic gifts growing up were empathy and precognition (knowing when something was going to happen). I also had a strong bond (a telepathic or intuitive one) with my little brother Tony, who did not talk until he was nearly four. That was partly because I was able to speak for him and communicate to my parents what he wanted. This is Tony and I around that age.

    My sensitivity was suppressed not long after because of a bad experience seeing a ghost in the house I grew up in.

    I saw a woman standing in the corner of my bedroom at night. She was dressed in a style that was of the turn of the century and I still remember exactly what her silhouette looked like.

    I am fairly certain she was an earthbound spirit (a soul who has died but not crossed over) although at the time I didn’t know who she was (I grew up in a house that was built around the end of the nineteenth century). I just knew she wasn’t a real person.

    That experience put a fear of ghosts and ghouls into me – a fear that I didn’t get over until my early twenties. That night, I just put the covers over my head, absolutely petrified, hoping that she would leave. I remember my heart beating in my chest so hard. I told my mother about this encounter in the morning. My mother is a very pragmatic, scientifically-oriented person. I remember hearing my parents talking about my experience worriedly. From that moment on, I realized that my parents did not like my seeing things and it worried them. My parents had no experience or knowledge of the spirit world and I felt like there was something wrong with me for having seen what I had. I think I had concluded that I wasn’t “meant” to be seeing anything that they couldn’t see.

    Later on, my psychic gift made appearances here and there, but it was not consistent. When I was around ten years old, I remember going on a week-long geography field trip to Wales. While there, it seemed I had a gift for prediction, as I was able to predict the meals that we were going to have before they served them. I was also able to predict the lottery numbers that week, although of course we were only about ten years old so sadly nobody went out to buy a lottery ticket!

    Studying the Tarot

    A few years later, I became fascinated with the Tarot. I bought myself a pack of Tarot cards, much to my family’s disapproval as they associated the Tarot with the occult. I used to take my tarot cards to school and did readings for the students and teachers. I also used to play a game where I was able to predict which tarot card I was about to pull out of the pack, even if I reshuffled the pack, I would always know which one I was going to pull out. It freaked out my friends somewhat. I was told by my family that the Tarot was dangerous, and that it invited contact with negative spirits. In my experience, consulting the Tarot was interesting, comforting even and I sensed that something or someone benevolent was working with me to give me the relevant information.

    Through this process of studying the Tarot, I became very familiar with the symbols of the Tarot and in retrospect that was the beginning of my intuitive training.

    Yearning for Spiritual Connection

    It was around the age of eleven that I began going to Church on my own. I had always been drawn to anything spiritual and Church was the closest I thought I could get to the supernatural. I loved the silence of the church on Sunday evenings and the poetry of the Bible. I loved talking to God and Jesus. My maternal Grandmother was a strong influence on me at this time as she was quite a religious person but she also had an affinity with Native American spirituality and she helped nurture a connection to the Divine. I especially enjoyed visiting her.

    Another reason why I enjoyed spending time with my grandmother was because she was a graphologist (someone who analyzes handwriting to deduce personality traits). When I visited her house, I would spend hours reading her graphology books, decoding handwriting. By examining and retracing people’s handwriting, I was able to step inside of the experience of the person who wrote it and get a feel for who they were.

    One of the first times I read for people I didn’t know was during a school fair at around the age of fourteen, when I analyzed the handwriting (and read the palms of ) the teachers and students. It was a fun exercise for me and they were all blown away by the accuracy of what they thought would just be a party trick or a cold reading. I never imagined I’d be doing that kind of work ten years later!

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