Updated 27 June 2022.
I have a question about mediumship and the afterlife. I want to talk to my dad who passed away in 2018. Do I have to do this through a medium or can I do it myself? Where is my dead father now?
Thanks for your question. I’m sorry to hear about your father’s death.
First of all, I wanted to say that your father most likely crossed over fully to the other side following his death. Soon after death, his soul would have undergone a ‘life review’ which is where his soul gets to go over what happened in his most recent lifetime and what he learned from it. Then most probably, he will hang out in the afterlife for a while before incarnating again into a different body. Even if your dad is now reincarnated, part of his spirit will be on the other side, and you can talk to him any time you like.
So, the answer to your question “where is my dead father now” is:
(1) Either his soul is in the afterlife or (2) he has reincarnated into a new body. He will have moved forwards on his soul’s path in some way.
If you have things you want to say to your father, say them out loud. He will hear you. In order for you to have a 2 way conversation with your father, you both have to build your half of a bridge. This bridge is between heaven and earth. Your dad builds half of the bridge and you build half. That means, to communicate ideally you will develop your psychic sensitivity to reach him and he will lower his spiritual vibration to reach you.
Many times, deceased spirits are already communicating with us, but we haven’t noticed (which means that they have “built” their half of the bridge, but we haven’t built ours). So I would say it is a good idea for you to sensitize yourself further. Be really observant and pay attention to see if you notice any of the following ways deceased loved ones communicate with us from the other side. You can also ask your father to send you some of these signs.
(Note, if you would rather watch this article as a video, instead of read the article, scroll down to the bottom!)
#1: Through Dreams
When we are dreaming, we are very open to communication from deceased loved ones and from the other side in general. This is because we’re already in the astral planes, which is a non-physical place that we visit when we’re asleep. It’s easier for our deceased loved ones to ‘meet us half-way’, energetically speaking, by visiting us there.
I had a dream visitation from my great-grandmother (my mother’s grandmother) a few days before my mother got remarried in 2007 (although I didn’t realize at the time that it was a dream visitation.) Great-granny turned up, looking frail, grey and old – just how I remember her. The only thing she said to me in the dream was “your mother looks lovely in brown”. I felt a great deal of affection coming from her even though I hadn’t known her very well when she was alive. It was a nice dream, but I forgot about it soon after I woke up.
A couple of days later, I was out shopping with my mother for something to wear on her wedding day and we had looked all over town for the right dress for her to get married in, but we hadn’t found anything suitable.
Then, just before the shops were shutting at the end of the day, we found a gorgeous brown dress. My mum tried on the brown dress and it fit beautifully and she looked gorgeous in it. It was perfect. Then all of a sudden I remembered the dream where great-granny had told me that mum looked lovely in brown and I told mum about it. She smiled and said, “Great-granny always used to tell me how nice I looked in brown.” Mum thought it was just a coincidence that she had found a brown dress but I felt like it was great-granny giving her blessing from the other side.
How do you know if your deceased loved one is visiting you in a dream or not?
I’ve had a few dreams with deceased spirits in them since then and they’ve all ‘felt’ very similar to me.
It’s hard to put my finger on it exactly, but for me, the ‘climate’ or ‘mood’ of the dream changes when a deceased spirit shows up. You might feel their love or affection for you, transmitted in the dream whereas before there was no particular mood or feeling to the dream. The setting of the dream may suddenly change to somewhere quite symbolic and it may become more vivid. You will often have the dream just before you wake up so that you remember it.
#2: Deceased Spirits Can Move Objects
Can the dead move objects? Yes, it is possible. Don’t ask me to explain how deceased spirits manage to mess with objects. I just know they can and do.
My mum’s sister who passed away from ovarian cancer around two years ago made her presence felt in a few different ways after her death.
Shortly after she passed away, my mother’s sister visited me in a dream and told me that she was messing with the clocks in my grandmother’s house. I rang up my grandmother the next morning to tell her what I had dreamt and she told me that the grandfather clock in their lounge had stopped overnight with the pendulum in the wrong position and they couldn’t get it to work again (it had never happened before and they’d had it for decades.)
Another time a book that belonged to my mother’s sister about ovarian cancer fell off the bookshelf while my grandmother was in the room.
#3: Communication Through Signs from Nature
The world of Spirit is entwined with and superimposed onto the physical world and the natural world. You just have to be looking for Spirit in order to see it. I’ve heard of deceased spirits sending natural symbols which were meaningful to them when they were alive – such as flowers, birds, animals or animal symbolism. Other signs from nature include rainbows, the person’s favourite flower taking up residence in your garden randomly – that sort of thing.
A while ago my mother told me about a local man here in New Zealand who died in a diving accident. He hit his head and drowned while diving in some coastal caves. When they recovered his body, three whales were sighted nearby, on the coast, hanging around the area where the body had been recovered. (Whales are the Maori symbol of divine protection.) In this area of New Zealand, whales rarely show up on the coast – you have to go many miles out to sea to see them. So that was interesting in itself. Then a few weeks later they were having a memorial service for this man in the place where he died, three whales showed up again.
#4: Communication Through Mediums & Through Your Intuitive Senses
Deceased spirits are energy, like your Spirit Guides, so they can impulse us and connect with us in a similar way if they are around. But I do believe that it is easier to communicate with Spirit Guides than it is to communicate with deceased spirits. This is because guides are connected to you, so if you tune into a person’s energy, you can also tune into their guides fairly easily if you know how. But deceased spirits are not attached to you as such.
So, if you cannot connect with a deceased loved one through a medium, don’t despair. There are many reasons why the communication might not be successful.
Remember that the ether is far removed from the physical plane. Communicating with the other side is a little like building a bridge (made of energy). It’s like you are on one mountain, in the physical plane and the dead on another in the ether. In between you is a valley. In order for you to make contact, someone, or both parties has to build a bridge. You can build an energetic bridge by raising your vibration and opening up your psychic senses and the deceased spirit can build half of the bridge by lowering theirs to meet you halfway. Sometimes deceased spirits may not be available to build their part of the bridge because they’re working on the next stage of their soul’s journey. Some recently deceased spirits want to build the bridge but they’re not yet fully comfortable in their new energetic state and cannot.
Even if you cannot connect with your deceased loved ones through a medium or if they are not showing you signs of them being around you, you can still honour and love them in other ways.
One of the best ways of honouring another soul is by letting them go.
You’ve probably heard the saying ‘if you love someone, set them free’. This is as true in death as it is in life. Deceased spirits can really benefit from permission to leave and go and pursue the next stage of their long journey. I know deceased loved ones who still have one foot in this dimension one year after their death because they feel guilty for leaving their family behind.
My grandmother told me about a friend of a friend who punched her dying husband in the face (he’d had a heart attack) because she was so angry that he was leaving her. My grandmother always found that story quite funny and sad at the same time. I’m thinking of this story because we do send out clear messages to dying and deceased loved ones about whether they are allowed to cross over that will affect their willingness to move on. And of course it is natural to want to hold onto people.
Something that is very powerful is to give your loved one permission to die while they are still alive. My grandfather did this in the moments before one of our relatives was on her deathbed. He talked to her to sleep like a little child, telling her that it was OK to go and to not be afraid. She died shortly after.
During the funeral, some native cultures consider that the spirit of the dead person is there, so they address them directly and tell them that it’s OK to cross over fully now. Then, they promise to honour their dead and check in with them at certain times, like on the anniversary of their death.
Even after they are gone, you can speak to your deceased loved one and tell them that it’s OK to move on. They will hear you.
You can also honour the dead by focusing on new life
Death is not just an ending. With it, new life begins, although you do not see the new life and the new stages in the evolution of the soul of your loved one (you only see the ending which is what causes grief). Know that your loved one lives on, and experiences new life and goes on to the next stage in their soul’s evolution, even if you cannot see it. You can honour and witness this cycle symbolically through planting something beautiful and seeing it grow.
How have your deceased loved ones got your attention? Please leave a comment if you have something to share.
Further Reading & Resources:
- Free E-Course for Developing Your Intuitive Abilities (developing your clairs & intuition can help you to connect with your deceased loved one more easily.)
- [Video] – 10 Signs Your Deceased Loved One Is Visiting You (& 8 Tips for Communicating With Them)