How Are Your Past Life Relationships Affecting You Today?

By Jay Linden.

Consider one of the best relationships from your life. One where you felt at ease in being yourself, energized and joyful and it was as if you had known each other for years – as soon as you met. This relationship could be with a friend, partner, family member or even with someone you met only very briefly.

Now consider one of your worst relationships. One where you struggle and, far from feeling at ease, there is awkwardness and tension, a pattern of misunderstanding or power struggles. This could also be with a friend, your partner or family or a person you met only briefly, but perhaps took an instant or intense dislike to.

Would it surprise you to discover that both of these relationship experiences are most likely being influenced by your past life relationships with those souls?

We often feel like we have known and loved someone forever, even when we’ve only just met them, precisely because we have known them forever – we’ve played out different roles in various lives throughout time (as well as having a close and supportive relationship in Spirit!)

The power of past life relationships

I experienced being ambushed by a past life relationship a few years ago. The power and intensity of it took me completely by surprise.

I met someone by chance and had an engaging chat about art and thought nothing of it. I met this person a few weeks later at a book fair and again there was an immediate rapport. We arranged to spend a day together. In the first hour, we exchanged our life histories at top speed – as if we were bringing each other up to date. We each had a sense of knowing each other’s soul from the inside out.

I immediately said past lives. My friend, who isn’t on the same spiritual journey as me, was more ambivalent, but couldn’t deny the power of connection or the uncanny sense of total knowing – even though prior to this day we’d only had two short ten-minute conversations.

Whilst this new friendship had a joyful component the intensity of feeling disturbed me a bit. Then I was ambushed by relationship fantasies day and night and knew I had to do something about it.

There was a part of me living my normal life, happily partnered with my husband and doing my art. And there was another part of me that seemed out of my control – passionate, intense – and focused solely on a relationship with this person.

I was left standing on the sidelines, marveling, as this other part of me fantasized about both of us leaving our partners, finding a home together and how committed we would be to each other.

I did not say anything to my new friend as I felt that this was from a past life – and if I wanted a chance at a real friendship I’d have to do some past life regression therapy.

Life in a Harem

In the past life I went back to, I’d been born to a dirt-poor family in a small village, but I was very beautiful. Someone noticed me and I was chosen to be a consort to the Sultan. I happily left my family, filled with pride at the prospect of riches and my rise in status.

Marriage to the Sultan was a great disappointment. He did not like women. He had sex just the once with each woman he added to his harem. I had dreamed of a great love affair – in reality, the act was cold, clinical and he did not even look me in the eye. Being of a proud and tempestuous nature I was incensed and spat in his face.

As a result, I was whipped and sent to the harem. There I met the soul who was my friend in this life. She was gentle and kind – she soothed my humiliation with soft words as well as rubbing healing cream into the cuts on my back.

We became friends and lovers as did many of the girls in the harem. Life in a harem was claustrophobic and intense. It centred on pampering the body and the many shifting relationships amongst the women.

Essentially, I collapsed myself into this relationship. I lived only for the times we were together, apart from the others, and was horribly jealous if she paid any attention to anyone else. I wanted her all to myself.

This life ended when the Sultanate was attacked. She died in that attack and I died soon after.

Many lives – one pattern

Part of the clearing of past lives is not only to release the life explored, but also any similar lives. As this was done I became aware of other lives with this soul – also in harems – but those lives had ended differently.

We repeat lives in similar patterns when the soul is working its way through a particular life lesson or exploring a theme. Often, we explore multiple variations around a particular relationship dynamic – and in those, we tend to incarnate with the same soul and work through these lives together.

I’ll be your mother and you can be mine

I have a colleague with whom I’ve incarnated many times. In some of those lives, I have played her mother, in others, she has played mine. The patterns from life to life were very similar (even though the circumstance of place, power, and socioeconomic status were quite different.)

My pattern as mother was to see her as something very precious and yet to somehow neglect to listen to what she needed or wanted. In several lifetimes, I tried to make her marry someone she did not want to marry – with dire consequences for her.

Her pattern as mother was to love me, but be very weak or distant and completely unable to protect me from the powerful people around us.

Past life influences on this life – and how to heal them

The influence of these patterns from our past lives has played out in this life – affecting our friendship. Although we had an instant connection I found her to be frustratingly either elusive or in victim mode. Meantime I was far too interfering and controlling with a tendency to mother her.

Eventually, since both of us were healing our past lives, the dynamic shifted to something more balanced and at a higher level of awareness. But I think the main improvement came from both of us working on the very patterns and dynamics from those past lives.

My colleague is working on standing in her power, speaking her truth and being present in relationships. I am working on listening to others and stepping back, allowing them to have their own journey and not try and fix things for them – or think I know best.

The more we succeed in mastering these skills the clearer and more joyful our relationship becomes – and the effects from those past lives diminishes or is no longer an issue.

So how did the past life work impact the new friendship with the soul from the harem?

After the past life regression those past life soul fragments who were still trying to have a relationship with that soul were released. Thank heavens. No more fantasies or obsessive thoughts. I got my life and my mind back.

So if you have a challenging relationship with someone how can you heal it?

Sometimes you can’t – sometimes you do have to walk away. And sometimes it can help to heal any past-life relationships through regression therapy.

We’d love to hear about any relationships you feel are with people from past lives. Can you identify the lessons you are working through together? Leave a comment in below if you’d like to share your story.

Jay Linden is the creator of Soul Purpose whose aim is to assist those wanting to do the inner work of healing and transformation. She offers past life regression, soul purpose astrology and Tarot for the soul. You can visit her website here.

Meet Anna

Hi, I’m Anna Sayce! My purpose here on this website is to provide practical techniques and information to help empaths to understand, and fix the root of their energetic overwhelm & also to help sensitives to embrace and develop their intuitive gifts. I believe that developing our spiritual & intuitive side is very powerful and allows us to improve our own lives, and if we wish, even make the world a better place for others. Discover more >


  1. Elizabeth

    I have one- I call him the greatest love of my life. We originally met in this life time when we were 16 he worked for my dad at a marina- boats and water are our connection. I had a crush on him then but stayed distant as my controlling mother used to make fun of me every time I should an interest in a boy- telling me I act stupid. I left for the Army and he went off to contract as a lineman and married his high school sweetheart, I bounced around from empty and one sided relationship after relationship marry my husband. I had asked about this man to my dad about 2 years after the last time I saw him and my father got defensive and curtly replied he had a girlfriend. I dropped it and hid in a marriage of convenience and safety because my heart had been broken way too many times to try for love again.

    Fast forward 15 years and I start working at an electrical co-op and there is this guy there with the same name as my 16 year old friend, but I do nothing about it but wonder if it was him for almost 7 years. I kept dismissing it only because this guy was younger than me and my guy was a year ahead in school. We developed a friendship- like a close brother and sister- but people around us always though something more was going on, yes attraction was there, but stepping out was never considered. There was a trust and comfort and patience, he could calm my soul just by his presence and I him. Then a conversation happened- right around the time I decided to no longer hide my own clairvoyant gifts- we finally realized we were those 2 16 year olds at the marina.

    And this is when all hell broke loose- he decided to leave the co-op and we started a 4 year affair- please no judgment this is just my truth. I finally had in my life a true love and were able to be loved and give love, the joy with him in my life is mind blowing. It wasn’t about a physical connection but a spiritual and a knowing and a comfort and a true love. I did a past life regression on my own and found we were Cherokee Indians in a past life- we were much in love and always sneaking around in the woods together, we married but I died giving birth to our son. When I told him this, he stated that his 2x great grandparents were Cherokee.

    My husband found out and we survived this but I can’t let this other person go. I met with a medium and she channeled in my father who has passed on and I asked him why he kept us apart, my life would have been so much different and complete. Through the medium he apologized and said that he thought that was best at the time.

    I only want to try to release this- I won’t leave my husband and I will never allow myself to be vulnerable in love ever- even after seeing what is possible, a rough childhood, really bad relationships in my early 20’s have just tainted me against love and 30 years since my last disastrous relationship has done nothing to ease the hurt.

  2. Tania

    Elizabeth, I don’t understand why you won’t just leave your husband?

    You said it was a marriage of convenience, and now you are still obsessed with you soul mate, so what’s the point of continuing on?

    Why not go with your soul mate?

    I understand cos I’ve met a soul mate and it just blew me away. I miss him everyday, but I won’t be dishonest. Sometimes soul mates don’t have the greatest personality traits, and you can’t ignore dishonesty.

    It seems you are doing yourself, your husband and your marriage a disservice by sticking around where you don’t want to be.

    You need to start making courageous choices. Not cowardly ones.

  3. Elizabeth

    Thank you! Actually we both are here at this cross road and doing the soul searching. I see the traits that would have made my father leery. My independent streak is overwhelming at times for him. And he has to make the same decision that I do……. we shall see what 2018 brings 🙂

  4. Kathy Corbin

    I love this article! I’m currently going through something that is passed life related.

    My boyfriend whom we have been on and off for 5 years. The first time I met him it was truly magical. We were like two magnets! The first day we met I told him he was my sole mate and that we were brought together for a reason. We have a strong attachment to each other and feel a deep responsibility for one another.

    Our relationship is extremely complicated because he is from the middle east and is an expat (meaning he is always moving to a different country). When we met in Chicago where I am from he was here getting his MBA and had 2 two years left in Chicago. Our relationship was extremely intense and we lived each day like it was the last time we would see each other. After a year of being together he found out he would be moving to Saudi Arabia where his family was and said it would be best if we stopped talking so that it would make things easier once he really did leave.

    When he said this it literally broke me. I felt like I lost my other half and could not function with out him. I was unable to move on and date other men as I knew he would be back and all men make me physically ill since he came into my life. I was extremely upset with him for making the decision to stop talking and had a lot of resentment towards him.

    After 8 months he came back to me and found we can’t stand being away from each other for long periods of time. He has the same thing as me where he can not move on with another women as they make him ill as well. (I don’t understand this as I have never experienced this before I knew him).

    I decided to get a passed life reading and was told that he is my twin flame and we have actually shared 3 passed lives together. In our passed 2 lives I was royalty and he was my caretaker. in each of these lives we had an affair and in each life our relationship was forbidden due to my status. In my last passed life I was middle eastern royalty and he was a servant. I fell in love with him and we had a child. Fast forward a little bit and a servant told my father about us and my father executed him. When that happened I was extremely heart broken and had a miscarriage with our second child.

    In the passed life before that it was Egyptian times and I was a king and he was my servant. Again we had a torrid affair and I got him pregnant as he was a women this time. My wife was extremely jealous and poisoned him while making his death look like an accident.

    I felt this explained a lot as to why whenever he leaves me I literally feel like he is dying and am reliving the deep trauma from our passed life relationships.

    It’s funny because before I received this passed life reading I knew I was middle eastern in a passed life as I feel most at home in this culture. I converted to Islam as this is what resonates with my sole. I have traveled to Dubai and Istanbul and did not want to leave as I feel like I am leaving my home. I cry when I have to come back to the United States because I feel like I’m living in a country that I have no ties to. We both have decided that when we can be in the same country that we want to settle in Dubai as that is what feels most like home to both of us.

    I would like to do more passed life readings to get deeper into this and really understand things like what my purpose is.

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