How To Stop Asking Life for Permission to Have What You Want

In the last few weeks, I’ve noticed one difference between people who are creating what they want in their lives and those who haven’t and aren’t.

Those who haven’t yet created what they want, are asking questions like:

Is it my destiny to….?

Will I ever….?

Can I…?

Those are the people who feel like they need permission from SOMEONE to have, be or do what they want – permission from their spouse, from their parents, from their doctor, from their teacher, from their Spirit Guides, from God, from anyone.

Their steps in life are tentative and they are constantly worried that they are NOT meant to be having what they want.

They are the ones who are constantly looking out for signs from the Universe that they SHOULD be doing that thing they’re toying with.

That they CAN do it.

They might say things like ‘maybe I”m just not MEANT to be doing this?’

It’s actually easier to consult God, check in with destiny or see if your astrological chart might give its seal of approval because that way you don’t have to commit to what you want or take full responsibility for creating it.

The second group of people, on the other hand, decide what they want and don’t bother consulting God or the Universe with questions like ‘but is this my destiny, though?’ (or not for longer than two minutes, anyway.)

They decide what they want and then allow themselves (and the Universe) some time to figure out how it will happen.

Obviously, we’re talking about desires within reason. There are some things you’ll never do. For example, I’m not going to win X-Factor nor am I going to become an Olympic high-jumper (I am about 5ft tall and not that good at singing).  Nor do I particularly want to do those things.  But on the other hand, I know I can give workshops, write a book, make twice or three times (or ten times) as much money as I currently do.

And I don’t need your permission or anyone else’s. I just need to want it – a lot, enough.

What about you?

Do you keep asking for permission to have what you want?  Life/ the Universe isn’t your mummy and you’re not 5 years old (unless you actually are 5 years old.)  You decide what you get to have and what you don’t, and your desires are showing you the way.

This mentality is hard to master when you’ve been through an educational system that teaches you that you may not do that thing you want, not without asking. And hard to master when you’ve been taught that if you don’t play according to someone else’s rules at work, you won’t get promoted and you won’t get what you want.  You have to play the game, right?  Not in the grand scheme of things.

In life, YOU set the course, even though you may be immersed in systems which tell you otherwise. You work out the ‘what’ to create. And then the Universe responds by helping you come up with the ‘how’. No-one else sets the course but you and if you expect otherwise, you’ll spend your life asking for permission that you’ll never get.

What about you? Is there something in your life that you will give YOURSELF permission to want – and create?

Meet Anna

Hi, I’m Anna Sayce! My purpose here on this website is to provide practical techniques and information to help empaths to understand, and fix the root of their energetic overwhelm & also to help sensitives to embrace and develop their intuitive gifts. I believe that developing our spiritual & intuitive side is very powerful and allows us to improve our own lives, and if we wish, even make the world a better place for others. Discover more >


  1. Karen

    This came at just the right time for me. Thanks Anna!

  2. Kate

    Great article. I did’nt so much need to have to ask, but was doing things with my behaviour to give my permission away. Like being pleasing, if Im so nice then I wont get resistance from anyone to do what I want. I think another aspect of this is, if I think I have to get permission then it means that God/Teacher/Mother/Father is on my side and so it will be easier.

  3. Jen

    Hiya Anna
    Great post. I’ve got to say, your blog is fast becoming one of my favourites – you have this knack of explaining things in a brilliantly clear (and funny :-)) way.
    This is great, I have done the asking the universe thing / looking for signs approach in the past and sometimes I think it’s appropriate but generally I think there can be a lack of power in this approach if used consistently. I think it’s about em-powering ourselves and being grown ups! 🙂 This post reminds me of the message in Steve Pavlina’s latest post ‘you vs. the cubicle’.
    Great stuff!
    Thanks Anna
    .-= Jen´s last blog ..Dance to your own beat =-.

  4. Anna

    Kate – thanks for your comment!

    Jen – Aw, I am glad you’re enjoying my blog! Thanks for your lovely comment. I agree that the asking your guides/looking for signs approach can be good sometimes, but needs to be done in cooperation with spirit, not relying on spirit to do everything for us.

  5. Jeanne

    Great reminder, Anna, of our power lying within us and not outside somewhere. Easy to forget, I think. Do you think we look too much for explanations of what happens in our lives? I think of the phrases “everything happens for a reason” and “I guess it wasn’t meant to be” — when we say things like this, are we abdicating responsibility? Or is it an acknowledgement that some things are indeed out of our hands (and is this even possible)? Dunno, the question kind of popped in my head just now . . . as always, you push my wonderment button, thanks!
    .-= Jeanne´s last blog ..Gifts Not Asked For =-.

  6. Anna

    Hi Jeanne,

    That is a good question. not sure I have all the answers to this but I’ll give it a shot !

    I think this is a bit of a grey area.

    This blog post was written more for the people who don’t start things because they’re always looking for that nudge or sign from the universe to do it, and it never comes (or they never notice it). Often something that you don’t get pushed or impulsed by spirit into creating can be highly successful, so you shouldn’t always be looking for guidance in order to get onto a new project, for example.

    Generally I see everything that happens as ‘meant to be’, whether that means creating something or not creating something. Whether it is meant to be depends on your level of desire. If you want something enough, it gets created through you. If you want something a lot and but you feel disempowered, you find a way to overcome that disempowerment to get to your goal eventually.

    Something that isn’t ‘meant to be’ could also be something you consciously desire as a person but on a soul-level it is not something that resonates with your deeper, dearest values and you feel it, you run out of juice and it never gets created.

    Hope that makes some sense.

  7. Rebecca

    Great post, but I have some questions. I’ve been doing my best to manifest finances. I moved to AZ in 2007 because I thought I was listening to my “gut or intuition” that nudged me to move to the Southwest from the Midwest. Well, for the past 2 years, I’ve struggled with finances. I thought I’d be able to land temporary assignments or something (have 3 degrees and work experience). I did land a writing gig, but it wasn’t and isn’t enough to pay the bills (my hours were just cut — making $10) a day.

    I keep asking questions such as “what did I do wrong?” “why does it take so long?” (gardens do not take that long to grow) “was it a mistake to move to AZ?” “was I wrong in thinking that I was supposed to move to AZ?” “are there forces beyond my control that are against me in AZ?” “am I over thinking all of this?” “what can I do better?” Needless to say, I have not received answers to my question. I just paid Dec. 09 rent and other bills and do not see how I can stay or even move (thinking about going back to school for a M.A. in Counseling — programs are in other states — not sure). Sigh…this is all very frustrating.

    I give myself permission to be, do, or have what I want. I just finished two screenplays. Never in my life did I ever think or consider writing screenplays. I really would like to see where I’m going or at least be given an inclining of my next action step.

  8. P

    Excellent article. Hits the nail on the head for me (and, I think, a lot of other people) who spend a lot of time seeking spritual advice because we are seeking permission, instead of just getting on with doing what we want.

  9. Lilly

    nice. yes, it is difficult to master if from the time you were born the mainstream world says this is the way that it is. We’ve gotten so used to thinking about things in a way that is not condusive to happiness. I think of all the time wasted just wondering whether or not there is another world when I could have been developing a closer tie to it. It’s irritating. I know this, the way into this type of more magical living totally depends upon how willing you are to acknowledge the questions that are in your heart, make your own hypothesis, than see. I mean it’s the crux of the scientific method. Propose something based on an assumed outcome and then test it out. I’m in a stage in my life where the “intuitive wheels” so to speak are turning. So many little signs, arising every day. At any moment now, something else really significant seems to be about to take place. I am appreciative of this inner knowledge. I just wish that we could all open up more to this. I think it would make the world an easier place. For those who believe in the Christian story of Adam and Eve, it’s almost as if something happened back there to close off access to an Edenic system of living. It’s as if we closed the door on an inner temple and have so many layers to get through just to open it back up. I wonder how many people really belive they can fly. There’s a song about it but do people really believe it? I do. I just think we’re closed off to the inner placement or belief that allows it to happen. If I were born and raised to believe that I couldn’t walk, and was systematically kept from trying somehow, then I wouldn’t be able to walk. I feel that generation upon generation has been told “no” you can’t, you shouldn’t, you won’t. Anyways, I’m glad there are sites like this that continue you to provide confirmation. Sometimes its hard to keep your heart open, up and engaged in world of the light–it always helps to have these type of help posts along the way. peace.

  10. Joseph

    I’ve been reading your blog now for about 5 hours straight.. post after post after post and it’s amazing stuff. The bit about you being great for those finding a career and (I think it was) working on root chakras is bang on! I’ve recently entered a new relationship and wanting to be able to share some fun things (like trips) and thinking more about my future (in detail and what it wil take from a material vs spiritual standpoint) has led me to see that I really need to get my butt in gear (which I have been trying (yes there is no try) to do in my career that’s running along side uni for over a year now) and reading all these blogs is really helping me break through. One HUGE realization (at least for me) I just had is that I may choose to do something or not to do it however I will NEVER let fear dictate this again in any of it’s sneaky forms. I no longer welcome fear in my life.. I’m eradicating it and for sure not acting on it because it does not serve me at all… so my new phrase gleaming on my white board is “what are you actually afraid of” followed by… “ok, now what do you want?”
    I really want to thank you and everyone you collaborate with for these fantastic materials 😀

    A little known (at least to most people I talk to) guy that also really helped me is J Krishnamurti so I’m plugging him to a lot of people and thought I’d share him here to 🙂 check him out 🙂



  11. Joseph

    Oh I also have another comment and question that someone can hopefully answer.

    I think I’m for sure one of those “lollipop” people with the upper chaks engorgered and once before (and now today and probably more often since it’s now my focus) I really concentrated on feeding my root chaks anddd I feel this immense I could say pressure welling up in my lower gut and I almost feel like throwing up but it’s like the pressure from this isn’t coming from my sotmach (like it usually would) but from a level deeper (the root one?) and I’m not really sure how to work with this or what it means… is it an energy clensing or a powering up? How can I play with this… anyway cheers for now and thanks 🙂

  12. Rosh

    I love how you are able to say things in such a wonderful, clear, conscise way, Anna! I enjoy reading your articles, they help me sort through myself and gain wisdom and clarity. So thank you. 🙂

    I stumbled upon this article at the right time for myself, I think. I’ve been doing some work on uncovering conficting or unhelpful core beliefs recently, and this really drummed into the realisation that I’ve grown up in a world where I strongly picked up the desire to deny my true self in order to be socially accepted (comes back to that damned people-pleasing…), and that lead me to have the complimentary (although it set me back hugely) belief that i need to obtain permission from an external authority figure for any major decision or change i wanted to make, because i wasn’t enough of an authority on myself, and i couldn’t rock the boat too much.

    so, working on working through and letting go of those, now…

  13. Merri Martin

    Hello Anna!
    My name is Merri and I’m a fellow CGW alumni. I came across your blog and website a few months ago and I found this post yesterday. Thank you so much! This has been the story of my life since I’ve come into personal development, I’ve been waiting and asking for someone outside myself to tell me what to do, but no more!
    Thanks again and good luck with your new job!

  14. Anna

    Hi there Merri!

    Thanks for stopping by and leaving your comment! 🙂 I am glad this resonated with you.

    Love Anna

  15. Rachel

    Hi Anna,
    I enjoyed this post. I do have a question though – what if I have doubts about whether I am “allowed” to RECEIVE something? I don’t so much feel that I need permission to pursue an activity, but right now I’d specifically like to manifest more beautiful clothes (and I don’t currently have the finances to simply buy them). Sometimes when I have a manifestation session, I feel doubts as to whether or not the clothes are “right” for me, or whether that is my ‘small self’ simply wanting more stuff. What do you think?

  16. Rebecca

    “They might say things like ‘maybe I”m just not MEANT to be doing this?” I say this from time-to-time because there are people who say we do have a destiny and what we desire may not be a part of our destiny. How true is this?

    BTW: I’ve grown in the past four years and give myself permission to do what I want. I stopped being a people pleaser.

  17. fellforit

    I had to post about this sychronicity. LOL

    I had just read this article of yours, Anna – “Stop Asking Life for Permission_ – and then I happened to meditate. I asked my guides about how to manifest something I really want (and I have a habit of worrying about whether it’s my destiny, etc. and asking the). So when I asked this time, I got a loud “don’t ask!”. Ha ha!

    I immediately thought of this article. At least it’s what I hope the message is rather than “stop asking us, we’re bored of the question and there’s nothing we can do.” :p

  18. Anna

    Hi fellforit,
    That’s great, looks like your guides are saying stop asking, start doing…

  19. shimaa5

    thanx so much anna .. needed your good thoughts ^_^ wish you best progress 🙂

  20. stevie

    my again ana, you are right! you want it you have it! that’s what I do ! it’s really easy if you understand the procees, at this point of my life I have everything I want and still reaping the benefits of this amazing “power” we all have but just a few put it to work, I cannot explain how I came to understand it, as I said in my other post I was a kid doing stuff without anybody telling me or training me, maybe for this reason is comes natural to me doing all that stuff…great site you have !!

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