Are You Learning Your Life Lesson?

 If I can’t have too many truffles, I’ll do without truffles.

~ Colette

One of the things that has been a challenge for me in my life is that I have little sense of moderation. I work too hard, care too much, stay up too late, push too hard, and give too much.

So when I had an Akashic Record Reading 13 years ago, it wasn’t surprising to me that my life lesson for this lifetime is moderation – I am here to learn about taking “the middle path.”

Your Soul’s Purpose

I usually talk about life purpose in the context of soul gifts and your life’s work, but there is another aspect of the soul’s purpose, which is about learning. We are all here to learn.

I believe that before we incarnate, we decide what we will learn as part of the upcoming incarnation based on our current strengths. All souls have specialties and areas of strength but every strength has a downside. For example, if on the soul level you have a gift for seeing what can be improved in any given situation or system, and you’re very conscientious about improving yourself, your challenge is likely to be self-acceptance and surrendering to the way things are.

Another example: if you have a soul gift that means that you are here to see the good in other people, you may have a tendency to be naive.

So, before we incarnate, based on our strengths and challenges, we choose one primary life lesson and several secondary life lessons.

You usually spend several lifetimes learning one primary life lesson, and when you’re done learning your primary life lesson, one of your secondary life lessons becomes your primary life lesson.

The life lesson you choose affects the events that show up during the course of your lifetime. It also affects the family that you choose to be born into, and the relationships that you choose. The life lesson is like the thread that underlies your experiences in any given lifetime.

I believe that we select our family of origin mainly based on what we need to learn as souls. If you had a negative experience with your family of origin, one of the simplest ways to find out what your primary life lesson is likely to be, is to think about what you learned through the experience of growing up in your family. For example, if you had very controlling or overbearing parents, you could have been learning about self-determination and sovereignty, i.e., the importance of directing your own course and path through life.

If you had abusive parents, you may have been learning about self-worth and self-love. This is a common scenario. We often learn a lesson by experiencing the absence of it. If nobody instilled in you that you are worthy and loved, you end up having to do it for yourself, thus learning about self-worth and self-love in the process.

The most common life lessons I have seen during my readings include: surrender, self-worth, flexibility, possibility, moderation/balance, love, and authenticity.

The Body and Life lessons

You can also gain some insight into your life lessons by looking at the body and mind that your soul chose in this lifetime. I personally have a very active mind that never shuts up, I’m always thinking and have a lot of creative energy. The way my nervous system is wired helps me to learn my life lesson of moderation, because if I do not behave in a moderate way, the consequences for me can be even worse than they would be if I had a nervous system that behaved differently. Your body and your nervous system have been chosen specifically to help you learn your life lessons.

Secondary Life Lessons

You tend to learn your secondary life lessons at a slower pace than your primary life lesson. Some of my secondary life lessons include power, and faith.

Power is a life lesson that I have been learning gradually and steadily over many lifetimes. I have experienced having power over others and abusing it, and I have also been powerless.

The thing I love about this part of a reading is that life lessons are effortless- you do not have to “try” to learn your life lessons. You will naturally attract and choose experiences which help you to learn them anyway. Of course, it can help to know what they are because in knowing what your life lesson is, you can consciously bring more of that energy into what you do and how you behave, and then life becomes easier for you.

If you can also see the bad things that happen to you as an opportunity to learn your life lesson, this allows you to see life through a more positive lens. For example, at the moment I have an issue with repetitive strain injury (RS I). I am writing this article using voice recognition software because I am not able to type or use a mouse. This issue started when I was at university because I worked too hard. This injury teaches me about moderation when it does flare up. I personally believe the same can be said of all of the ailments and disasters which happen to us – they happen to teach us something.

Do you know your life lesson? Are you able to get a sense for what it might be, based on your family of origin and the events and people you have attracted so far?

PS. If you are interested in finding out more about life lessons and how you can read the Akashic records to find out information about life lessons and lots of other things too, you may be interested in my Akashic Record Reading Program, which can be found here. One of the most interesting applications of this knowledge is being able to find out what you are learning through any given circumstance or situation.

Meet Anna

Hi, I’m Anna Sayce! My purpose here on this website is to provide practical techniques and information to help empaths to understand, and fix the root of their energetic overwhelm & also to help sensitives to embrace and develop their intuitive gifts. I believe that developing our spiritual & intuitive side is very powerful and allows us to improve our own lives, and if we wish, even make the world a better place for others. Discover more >


  1. tatiana

    This is really interesting.

    I’ve been thinking about this quite a bit, what keeps showing up in my life. The one lesson I know for sure – which HAS to be a primary lesson – is one of expectations/attachments.

    When I really need or want something to happen, I get super attached to it. Everything I become attached to withers away. It has either broken me or left me flailing. In fact, my life narrative can be told through the failed attachments and unmet expectations I’ve had in my own life.

    So I think the flip side to this is acceptance. Learning to accept things as they are, instead of trying to force something into existence. I’ve come to realize that the things I’ve wanted most in this world, I’ve never gotten. The things I needed most, I never really got either.

    God just sort of… gives me the essentials I need to survive and not much more than that. Which I guess is important. It’s just hard to want more for my life and being unable to achieve it. I feel like I can’t have plans, or goals or dreams because I will be faced by a type of rejection that is splattered across my personal history.


  2. siri

    Great Article. Very encouraging on accepting the hurdles in life and grow at the soul level.

  3. Swati

    Lovely! I love your posts! I never thought that the body and nervous system are chosen to help us learn our life lessons. And I do think that I have very controlling parents, and I can now relate why am I so stubborn about choosing my way in life in spite of their rejections on many things. They still do. I don’t want to hurt them but I am entirely different from them.My choices will hurt them.I am 25 and this is not at all a teenager issue. I do wonder they are not at all like me. They are still bound by societal image.And I am exactly opposite.
    How to know whether you are going the right way in learning lessons or you are messing up?
    Sorry, for ranting it out!
    I am just a curious soul..! 🙂

  4. Joey

    That is a really interesting article with how you choose your parents and circumstances for soul growth.

    I went to a reading a while ago and asked that question about why my soul chose my parents and circumstances. The answer I got is that my mother is all about control and she has to learn to “let go” and my father has problems making decisions. Furthermore the psychic even told me that I don’t have to incarnate anymore and that my main purpose is to have a lot of fun and help people out whenever they need it.

    Gosh what a hard life I signed up for huh?

    But that does resonate a lot with me and I’ve been sort of wearing my mother down with her constant need for control and even showing by example to my Dad that sometimes you just have to make a decision and go for it.

    Plus another attribute of my life is I chose to live with a hearing disability to show that your only limitation is yourself. I wanted to prove that even though you can have disabilities you can still do whatever you want to accomplish. Even though I can’t hear well enough to talk on the phone I still have a job, a house, a car, and a stable happy lifestyle. I’m not reduced to a homeless person asking for handouts.

    But still there are some things I have learned with this life and the main issue I’ve had to deal with is that some people are just rotten to the core and no matter how good intentions you have or how well you treat them they will still treat you badly. It’s not really my fault but their own fault.

    Due to learning this lesson I’m starting to weed out unhealthy people much quicker and reduce the drama in my life. Some people are just a lost cause and it’s up to them to decide to improve themselves and I just have to let them deal with their issue.

    There was this friend I had for about 5 years and he went downhill with mental problems dealing with paranoia. He wouldn’t stop obsessing over conspiracies and I just got sick of it despite my constant efforts to show him ‘the light’. I finally told him that he’s got mental problems and that I am just tired of it and he stopped talking to me again.

    I feel bad for my friend but on the other hand it was just going nowhere despite my efforts and just had to cut ties.

    Great article!

  5. Rosie

    “You can also gain some insight into your life lessons by looking at the body and mind that your soul chose in this lifetime.”

    This reminded me of something that I’ve always been curious about… why are some people born intelligent and others not so much? I don’t mean just academically of course… I’m referring to how some people are simply naturally smarter (upbringing aside), and seem to just “get it” more than others. Do we choose this for ourselves, or what is it? We all have different interests and gifts and endeavours, but it seems strange to me that when it comes to basic intelligence, there is such a wide range.

    I love your articles, Anna! Always very interesting. 🙂

  6. Elizabeth

    I’m jealous, Joey!

    Anna, another great article. Thank you. I always learn something new from your site. That is, these are things I’ve had an idea about for some time, and your articles help me tie up all the loose ends. I identify with self-worth and possibility as my possible life-lessons. I’m currently working through codependency issues learned in my family of origin, which is freeing me up to gravitate naturally towards purpose and self-respect. This seems to be confirmed by various signs I’m getting, and the ease at which new opportunities are presenting themselves to me.

  7. Robin

    Anna, great article. What voice recognition software do you use? I’m having a similar issue and have had a tough time finding something that works. Thank you!

  8. courtney

    Self-discipline/control would be the biggest issue ive had to deal with. it relates to my biggest insecurities…

  9. Jennifer Lynne Flint

    Hmm. I think my personal issue is about giving up the need to be too much in control of my life, and to let other people be where they are on their current spiritual paths.

    I think I’ve done pretty well with that so far, and it hopefully won’t take several more lifetimes to learn! Ack.

    In fact, I’m of the mindset not to have any more lifetimes for a while, since the whole “being physical” thing doesn’t really seem to agree with me. Being bodiless sounds fun! 🙂

  10. David

    Lovely point about not having to Try to learn life lessons. I’ve found that when you finally “get it”, the lesson is done and the next “chapter” begins. Until then, you can still be a little in the dark about it. Even if you know the centre of it, like moderation or in my case, being seen, the presence of the lesson means it’s not yet learned.

  11. Dusty

    @Rosie — Actually, intelligence isn’t fixed, the brain is pretty plastic. People who are intelligent are intelligent because they either taught themselves to be or, as you point out, were raised that way.

    On the subject of life lessons — I’ve always had the feeling that I wasn’t supposed to do much in this life other than explore and learn. My upbringing was a pretty tough one (I wasn’t abused, barely, but looking back I wonder how the hell I survived) but even though I’m only 21 I feel like I’ve already processed most of it and I’m already using it to its advantages.

    Compared to the people I know, I’m not ruffled by things that would annoy most people, I accept circumstances more easily and I’m generally kinder to myself because doing anything else while growing up was pretty agonising. People have also commented on my resilience and persistence — no matter how bad things get I’m just too stubborn to do anything other than keep going. And I’m a pretty optimistic person.

    I’m actually a pretty polarised person; I’m either cheerful or severely suicidally depressed, and strangely enough, over the years, I’ve conditioned myself to bounce out of that depression quite quickly as long as nothing external is wearing away at me.

    Which I guess points the way to my next lesson… not letting things outside of myself wear me down!

    Thanks for this post, Anna.

  12. Jessica


    I just wanted to thank you for this article. I’ve been really struggling at the moment with why the same experience plays over and over in my life and I’m so so tired of it. When I read Tatiana’s reply, I wept. I think she and I have the same lessons to learn but she put it so well and her words have given me so much clarity which is what I needed so badly just now. I also seem to always see the good in people and I tend to let people treat me so badly and I make excuses for them because deep down I cling to the belief that they are good. I’m not sure why I do it…it sure hurts though! I am going to start reflecting on what I’ve learned from my family of origin. Thank you for the much needed guidance and clarity.

    Much love, Jessica

  13. Jennie

    Your articles are always timely, and always strike a chord.

    My primary life lesson has been to do with lack of self-worth. I have just turned 60, and only know am I coming to understand that I am an attractive, intelligent, capable woman, and always have been.

    I have just resigned from a job I have had for 6 years, in which I have been underpaid and under-appreciated. This, I feel, is only the beginning of a new life, in every possible way.

    Thank you Anna, you are an inspiration to us all.


  14. David

    Anna may have something else to say about it, but there’s an observation that can be made about control.

    Trying to control others and circumstances may indeed be a life lesson. Not being assertive enough is another. Like other life/karma lessons, they have emotional drivers. We tend to be reactive around this stuff, including our lessons. It pushes our buttons.

    But there is another kind of control, a kind that’s ego driven. This is similar and may be intertwined with the above. But this one isn’t a life lesson, it’s a spiritual one. It is a willingness to let go and discover who we are beneath the concepts and lessons and feelings.

    But yeah, to get to the second, you need to clear a hunk of the first. It’s one of the big advantages of doing the work and clearing the life lessons. We can then discover our spiritual nature that underlies the drama. And that is the beginning of the end of all struggle.

  15. Anna

    Swati – I think you are going the right way in learning the positive lessons when you are moving closer to creating the kind of life you want for yourself, and you are doing what brings you peace.

    Robin – I use Dragon NaturallySpeaking, version 12

  16. Anna

    Joey-you are awesome!

  17. Vanessa

    Hi! I was told from a psychic that my biggest lesson in life is love. In the past I was in an emotionally abusive relationship, and she was aware of that without me telling her. My question is, how do I know I have made it past this lesson? I’m not sure if she meant that relationship was my lesson in love? Or if it means self love? Because I also struggle with that. I actually think about this a lot and it also gives me anxiety wondering what this means… any advice would be great thanks!

  18. Brenda Fritz

    Hi, Anna!

    Hope you enjoy your much needed unplugging from technology!

    I am a very slow person. It has nothing to do with being methodical. It has everything to do with fear and uncertainty. So I have a good idea as to what my life lessons are at this point & time. But I’m not sure.

    I think I need an Asashic reading before I die of old age as clueless as the day I was born. Could you find one of your practising graduates here in the U.S. who could give me a reading?

    Sunshine, lollipops & rainbows,

  19. Amie Caddy

    Hi Brenda,

    I’m Amie, one of Anna’s assistants. The Akashic Record Readings are actually offered via Skype or telephone, so you’d be able to book one with Shelly (Anna’s resident Akashic Record Reader) if that’s something you’re be interested in. You can read more about this, and Shelly, here:

    Hope this helps!

    – Amie

Explore my Blog Categories


Your Intuition


Your Sensitivity

Using Your

Gifts To Help Others

What would you like to learn?


The Intuitive Awakening Program

The Intuitive Awakening Program

‘Zero to intuitive’ in 13 weeks

In my most popular course, you’ll get a step-by-step comprehensive guide to awakening your intuitive abilities. It is complete with audio files, meditations, techniques and inside knowledge from a professional intuitive.

The Akashic Record Reading Program

The Akashic Record Reading Program


Learn how to access the Akashic Records to give professional, accurate, content-rich readings on soul purpose, past lives, life lessons, soul gifts and origins.




Read, heal, open, clear out and rebalance your chakra system. Fast–track your intuitive development using this do–it–yourself guided meditation.

The Intuitive Reading Program

The Intuitive Healing Program

Get Certified
as an Intuitive Healer

This training teaches you how to cut cords, release both ordinary and enmeshed earthbound spirits and clear astral debris, to help clients resolve issues on the level of their energy body.




With this Amazon bestselling book, learn how to come back into balance with your gifts & thrive in a world that is not set up for empaths.




Learn about the most common negative energies which affect our spaces, how to diagnose and clear energetic issues in your home and how to protect your home from negative energies in the future.


Want to receive my updates to your inbox?

Join over 15,000 people who never miss an update, new course or intuitive tip!

error: Content is protected

Pin It on Pinterest