Cord-Cutting As A Technique To Improve Relationships (And Your Emotional Health)

In this article, I want to address some of the most common questions people have about negative energetic cords.

In case you don’t know what a cord, I’ll start with that.

What is a cord?

When you establish a significant relationship with someone (of any kind), you form an energetic cord with that person, which contains all the negative patterns and dynamics of your relationship. You contribute negative patterns into that cord, and the other person does too.

Those patterns of emotion, thought and behaviour circulate in the cord – it is connected to your aura, so the energies enter your aura continuously and affect you subconsciously in a variety of ways. Cords don’t just drain your energy.  They send negative patterns back and forth between you both, and into your aura.  Traumas can circulate in them, leaving you feeling haunted by them (for want of a better word).  They can also cause you to choose relationships and experiences that you wouldn’t otherwise because they predispose you to act in a certain way.

What happens when you cut a cord?

When you cut a negative cord, you are cleansing the negative behavioural, emotional and mental patterns that circulate between you and the other person.  If the cordee is still alive, then your relationship can improve as a result.

If the cordee is dead or you are not in contact, then it becomes a lot easier to put the negative aspects (and thoughts) of that particular relationship behind you.

Which cords do you recommend I cut?

We don’t form negative cords with everyone we come into contact with.  And I will always check before we cut a cord that it’s one worth cutting.

But here are the relationships that usually have a lot of impact when you cut a cord to that person:

  • Cutting cords to close relatives, such as parents, children or siblings can make a significant impact on your emotions.
  • When you have a cord to someone close to you who has (or has had) an addiction, it can really help to cut the cord to that relationship.
  • Cutting cords to abusers and bullies can be impactful
  • Cutting cords to someone you’ve had a difficult break up with can also be helpful.
  • Cutting cords to a current spouse or partner can be helpful too, especially if you are having difficulties in the relationship.

So we don’t form cords with everyone that we come into contact with?

No. We tend to have significant cords with family members. We also create cords when we become interested in a person, whether that is romantic or as a friend.

Why do we even form cords with people?

Negative patterns help us to grow and evolve as we strive to move beyond them. This is why I believe we form these negative  cords – as they contain the negative patterns of a relationship and in dealing with those aspects we expand and grow, as human and spiritual beings.

When I was studying spiritual healing, I was also taught that we have a percentage of negative and a percentage of positive lessons in a relationship with someone.  The positive experiences are reflected in the tie of unconditional love and the negative lessons form an energetic structure too. If you process those negative lessons and take the learning from them, you can remove the negative connection and change how you feel about it.

Can you feel if someone cuts an energy cord to you?

When you cut a cord, you are cutting the cord on your end only, and the person you cut the cord with will not feel it.

Why does it take 45-60 minutes to cut one cord? Can’t you just cut all your cords in a few minutes and be done with it?

Sometimes healers think that you can just ask Archangel Michael to cut a cord (or all your cords) and it will be so.  Or you can just visualize the cord-cutting happening and that will do it.

I was taught to cut cords in this way the first time I tried it.  It didn’t work, because you have to understand the energies, patterns and dynamics contained within the cord, in order to cut it.

If you just ask Archangel Michael to cut all your cords, the cord won’t be cut. Instead, you will actually be cutting all your psychic ties, which is a more minor type of energetic structure.

Do you ever need to cut a cord a second time?

No, you only cut a cord once, and when you do it properly, it never comes back.

Does cord-cutting affect the other person?

No. It can only change your energy field and emotions.  It doesn’t impact on the other person because they have their own free will.

Can cords be removed in other ways?

You can reduce the negative effects of cord energies by doing EFT, or other therapies that work on the psychological level.  Personally, I have found that this form of spiritual healing is one of the most effective types of healing for relationships.

I am thinking of cutting a cord to someone, but I’m not sure who – can you recommend someone in a session?

By all means. If you give me a list of people that you’d like to cut cords with, I will check to see if any of them are significant enough to cut.

Do you need to believe in cord-cutting for it to work?

No. Although this modality will suit you more if you are a spiritual person because we will be healing your energy body and chakras. If we don’t speak the same language (so to speak) then it will be harder to do the session.

Is it recommended to cut cords to someone you want to be with or remain married to?

Yes, – I often cut this type of cord for clients.

Does the cord-cutting change the relationship?

It can change how you feel and behave in positive ways. But it won’t necessarily turn an abusive or negative relationship into a good one. In those situations, it can help you to find more power to advocate for yourself and stand your ground, or end the relationship.

Are there some cords that are not worth cutting?

Yes – some cords are so small that they aren’t worth cutting.  We also have tiny psychic ties to people.  I always remove those after sessions. Those are not the same as cords (see above.)

You can find out more about cord-cutting sessions here.

Meet Anna

Hi, I’m Anna Sayce! My purpose here on this website is to provide practical techniques and information to help empaths to understand, and fix the root of their energetic overwhelm & also to help sensitives to embrace and develop their intuitive gifts. I believe that developing our spiritual & intuitive side is very powerful and allows us to improve our own lives, and if we wish, even make the world a better place for others. Discover more >


  1. Maxim

    I would like to cut cords with an ex because I was in a abusive relationship with her and I felt like I was brought here under not real love, as she was using emotional manipulation. I was very kind to her and honest too, I believe she didn’t really love me. I gave everything, my home and my cat I had for fifteen years and in good faith of my family. She said she would look after me but it wasn’t real love. I waited 4 years for a woman to come in to life I did nothing wrong to her. She made me homeless and now I need to move to a new beginning.

  2. caroline

    I would like to cut cords with my boyfriend we are both extremely unhappy and have been for a while. We both love each other very much but both have bad energy around each other. I want our relationship to work as we have been together for nearly 10 years and have a daughter together and have been through a lot together and I don’t want this to break us.
    Our family have been dealing with my daughters mental health for the past few years and has put a massive toll on the family.

  3. Deb

    you seem to not be offering cord cutting sessions anymore . . . ???

  4. Amie Caddy

    Hi Deb,

    Anna isn’t offering cord cutting sessions, however her resident Akashic Record Reader, Shelly Holbrook-Ebeling, will be in 2018

    Thanks, Amie
    – Assistant to Anna

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