One of the enjoyable things about having a connection to the universe, to one’s guides, or even just to one’s true feelings, is getting little synchronicities or feelings of ‘rightness’ that tell you you’re right where you need to be.
I’ve had many of these before in my life – little ‘nods’ from the universe, followed by a satisfied feeling in my heart and my soul, that I belonged right where I was at that moment in time.
Sometimes those moments don’t make any sense until later. I recently had one of those little ‘nods’ when I was considering taking a house sit in Dorset, UK in August. It was a house sit looking after 3 geriatric felines. It wasn’t as nice a place as some of the other house sits I was offered for the same time period, but my Spirit Guides stepped in and told me I ‘needed’ to take this one in particular.
Soon after my arrival, I wondered if my guides were screwing with me, because it was the house sit from hell.
The house was infested with fleas and I had to spray myself with anti-malaria strength insect repellant to avoid the bites (although I still came away with dozens of bites to my legs.)
Plus I managed to bring the fleas to my sister-in-law’s house, and my poor 4 year old niece started her first day of school absolutely covered in flea bites!
Then the boiler broke down, and I had no hot water or heating. The boiler kept making loud banging and squealing noises in the night which was not very restful. The cats were incontinent. One had dementia, frequently got confused and would cry loudly at night. There was a fire alarm that kept beeping for no reason and there was no way to disconnect it. Plus the home owners had left the place in a very dirty condition.
The silver lining was that I got chatting to the plumber who came to fix the boiler, found we had a lot in common, and we ended up having a lovely, fun, and exciting relationship, that was a ray of sunshine in my life, and his, too.
When You’re Not Where You Want to Be
Conversely, there have also been the times in life where I clearly know I’m ‘off track’ and not where I want to be. When I’m going in the wrong direction or down a big old, dead end.
My guidance does not beat around the bush at those times. The feedback is clear – things stagnate. I feel uninspired. My spirit guides go quiet. My creativity packs up. I feel miserable and stuck.
Now is definitely one of those times.
I’m currently in New Zealand and it is very obvious to me that I should not be here anymore.
New Zealand and me have always had a complicated relationship. I was born and grew up in the UK, but when I was 19 my whole family moved to NZ without me. I was at University at the time and stayed behind.
Then when I was in my early twenties, I flew to NZ. At first I thought I was there for a holiday, but I wasn’t – I wanted to live there.
Soon after my arrival, I decided I was going to get my NZ residency, and so I embarked on a 7-year long journey towards getting permanent residency through my business. This journey took not just a lot of time, but also a huge amount of money.
The decision to move there was wrapped up in a very complicated grief journey that took me years to work through. I grew up in a very dysfunctional family in that one of my parents was personality disordered and abusive.
In 2011, after a year of constant family drama and awfulness, I realized the negatives far outweighed the positives, and I knew I needed to cut ties with most of my family of origin. I had to learn to live on my own, free of the toxic drama and dynamics.
There ensued about 4 years of grieving. It was a very solitary, isolated time, where I focused on my business and lived alone with my cat in a secluded house surrounded by lots of trees. I loved that house. I did a lot of gardening and walks in nature.
And I was very intent and focused on being in New Zealand. I was not going to leave and I was going to get my residency. There was a strange determination in that, which seemed over the top. It was over the top because I felt like I would rather die than leave.
Looking back, I needed the peace, the safety, and the natural environment to grieve and heal. I wasn’t ready to cut ties with the country my family of origin lived in.
By 2015, I was ready. I came out of my grieving process around that time. I got my residency, left New Zealand a month later, and went back to the UK.
I started craving more company and community. In the UK, I met my 2 nieces and my brother’s ex-partner Debbie. I was there when my niece Isabella was born. I became very involved in my nieces’ lives.
The silver lining of letting go of the old family is that I found new family members that had a loose connection to the old family, but without the drama and negativity. I sometimes see my brother’s facial expressions in my niece, or my mother’s gestures. But that is as far as it goes in terms of being connected to the old family.
And then my ties to New Zealand loosened and this place started letting me go. It was gentle and gradual. And by the time I arrived back in New Zealand in November after 6 months away, it was clearly not my home.
Showing Commitment to New Zealand
I came back because it’s necessary to “show commitment” to New Zealand, and spend 6 out of 12 months in the country for 2 years after you get NZ residency, in order to keep it. And so I’ve been doing that.
I have got to be here from November 2017 until May 2018 if I want to keep my residency and have it for life. Then in May 2018, I can leave NZ with my permanent residency and never have to come back again.
My guides are telling me:
You could have thrown in the residency towel ages ago without negative consequences for your life.
My head is telling me:
I can’t believe you invested several years of your life and tens of thousands of dollars in this process and then fall at the final hurdle? I can’t believe you are thinking of passing all this up? Some people would give their right arm to live in such a paradise!
My heart is telling me:
You no longer want NZ residency. It wasn’t wasted time or money. How about spending the winter in Spain or somewhere close to the UK, so you can go back to visit your nieces often?
******************************************
What will I do? I don’t know if I have the guts to follow my heart and leave, passing up something I worked so hard for. Maybe the feelings of wrongness and stuckness will get so overwhelming that I’ll do it.
Here’s what spirit told me today, and I wanted to share in case there is anyone else here going through a similar transition:
It’s OK to move into another phase of life.
It’s OK to decide you want something different.
It’s OK to start disliking something you used to love.
It’s OK to burn bridges
It’s OK to be sad. Or not.
It is OK to be where you are.
Thank you for sharing Anna, I’ve been following your blog for a few years now and always find inspiration in what you post! Wishing you love wherever your journey takes you. 🙂
Thank you for sharing. I have also had to changed country and dream twice since 2013, following the guidance! I keep love light and joy in my heart. I am sending you LOVE and Angels !
I always enjoy seeing your newsletters pop into my inbox, Anna. I admire your honesty and vulnerability. It helps remind that we are all human, we all go through life sometimes stumbling through the darkness. I appreciate that you keep it real. Thank you, as stated above- You truly are an inspiration. A beacon of light. Blessed be!
Thanks for sharing Anna! That house-sit-from-hell bit made me laugh out loud 😀
I’m currently in the middle of a “WTF guides?!” experience, where the guidance I got (involving interest in another person) seems pretty much totally contradictory to what’s happening in real life. It does sometimes make me question my guidance (“are you playing tricks on me or what?”)… But as far as I’ve experienced so far they’re never wrong and don’t mess with us – and mostly are just being brutally honest. So, in my case, it probably has to do with timing or being attached to a certain outcome. Learning lessons indeed.
Love this, Anna. Thanks for sharing your journey with NZ. I’m in Tulum because after 8 years of building a life I always wanted in the Redwoods in CA, it all shifted and no longer felt like home. Looking forward to hearing more of your journey.
Thank you Anna. You’re sharing is so very helpful and yes inspiring! I’m so glad I found you and so glad to be taking your courses. I’ve had more spring in my step ever since. xxoo
I too just came out of an Abusive Family, my Mother passed away in May, and the Financial Situation IS a mess! I was told to wait until after 1/1/2018, before doing anything, and I have had several people tell me that themselves!
Since deciding on waiting for that next step, things have calmed down for me quite a bit! I know that all parties that are dragging their feet, will finally start to move, after the New Year!
I wish you the Best Anna!
Ed Lawrence
The cat in your picture is the spitting image of my darling Trudy. I did a double take when I saw her
Anna, your abysmal housesitting episode made more sense once you told more of your story. I believe that you were engaged in a final disconnecting experience: we connect and disconnect in layers. You’ve obviously been handling the psycho-emotional aspects of relocating permanently, and the logical-intellectual layers of reasoning that out, but the visceral, physical, and subconscious layers also need to process.
It’s like a physical detox . . . first you find a reason, then you do the conscious homework, then you experiment with better foods, and then you commit. But you cannot ignore the actual detox before a committed healthier diet. Your body won’t let you. In this case, your subconscious had to detox by projecting some of the more negative aspects of a NZ experience.
Don’t fret . . . it was just a necessary projective psycho-subconscious “fart” . . . LOL. The best way to process it is not to let that last experience color NZ for you forever, but to file it away as a part of the desired immediate disconnection process.
Who knows? You could eventually decide you want to retire there. Don’t burn all the bridges. Or do. It’s your creation.
Anna….Your journey’s in life may continue, but ‘nothing’ has been wasted’!
All of those ‘OK’s’ are correct!..
You did what your heart was telling you. – You succeeded in doing so….
Let your heart guide you – It knows where you feel free to be at ease..
Your intuition will always offer you wisdom and choice…. Stay true to your ‘gut’ feelings, they won’t let you down…
(you’ve come a long way so far)…….L’nL…
Hi Anna
Always nice to see cat pictures. We have a Tricolor and a Rusty. Thanks for sharing. Things are nice here almost too nice and ive been getting lazy. I had a chance to move earlier this year to a place 60 miles away didn’t take it. Last few weeks been getting a professional music band together they asked me with a previous friend crazy they live in the town i was going to move to and i had no clue till last week. I know your going threw something different i thought i would share. Always best blessings in the long run to you were ever your journey takes you.
Thank you for sharing, I found it very helpful in my own life related to work choices and looking back it’s complicated. I’m my head, it’s seems giving up something up and “burning bridges” with something that took years of hard work (and I used to love) and patience is crazy but in my heart I’m headed in another direction. ❤️
Thank you for sharing. I was at a place in my life where I felt everything was going perfectly. Then I got into a pretty bad car accident and my car was totaled. I obtained some minor injuries. I was making progress in doing what my spirit and guide wanted me to do. I decided to abstain from alcohol of any kind for some time and left social media for a while. I felt like I was being punished and it felt like a setback. I cried and was depressed for a good week or so. Then I realized this was apart of something bigger and that I am growing and that something beautiful is coming from this.
Anna, your blog entries are unique and exceptionally instructive for the vast amounts of information you SHARE about yourself and your life experience . Your accounts are steeped in positive energy and beneficial outlook. Bravo for your work! It is a radiant, guiding, and healing light in the lives of those who read your entries and follow your work. You are a gifted natural teacher! ………….. and, I like the photos taken of yourself and your travels! There can never be too many photos!
Hi Anna, I want to remind you that any time in the future that you want New Zealand residency your guides will enable you to quickly, easily and comfortably get it. You don’t need to agree to a negative consequence to get what you want. When we believe we have to pay a price, we create a life of paying prices. It is just as easy to create a life of getting things comfortably and easily and for free and we do that by believing that this is possible, that we deserve it and that it is ours for the asking whenever we ask. You deserve to get everything you want without suffering and struggling for it. Nothing positive is ever accomplished by choosing to suffer rather than pursue your heart’s desire despite how it might appear.
I have developed a gift of channeling very powerful healing energy via my guides in my trauma therapy practice where I work with PTSD, addiction and eating disorders. I have witnessed amazing miraculous healing take place through my guides in a single session! I have learned to use discretion though as I need to respect the learning people need to derive from their journey and I am careful to not take that away from them or risk that they will still need to learn this . I learned this through my own experience in needing to do the work and work through what I need to overcome or learn and have become stronger as a result. I want that for others and reserve my gifts for what seem more overwhelming challenges.
Hi Anna!
Once again your article is beautifully timed! I have had a life trial from hell and it involved a nasty flea infestation as well…LOL!!! I too was perplexed and wondered if I had a tear in my auric field that was letting dark entities attach themselves to me and wreak havoc in my life. However as time goes by I realize that everything happens for a reason and that I am exactly where I am supposed to be and sometimes I wonder if our Spirit Guides have a sense of humour and mess with us just for their entertainment, kind of like a parent messing with a child on April Fool’s Day…LOL! Regardless, I know that all is well with myself & the Universe. I held my belief & faith and surrendered to my Guides throughout my ordeal and now my situation has righted itself and some answers are coming forth now as to WHY I went through what I did. Your article today has confirmed why we go through what we “have go through”, thank you.
Love, Light & Blessings to you Anna,
Be Well,
Terri
I recently saw advice that has insisted on staying with me, and I pass it on to you: when in doubt, take the least permanent measure. If you give up permanent residency, there’s no going back. However, if you achieve permanent residency, all your choices remain open. That is always the way to go.
Thank you Anna for this writing…
I am in a feeling of being stuck at present, and found peace in your words, especially that it is ok to want change. Thank you! Kate
Thanks for sharing this Anna.Your articles always come as a “nod”from the Universe for me.I have been following your blog for a few months only,but noticing an unusual delay in your news letter(I am not even sure there was,but something hit on the time,if it make sense)I thought that you were not having exactly the best time,I sensed that there was something that had to be dealt with from your first picture(you in the kitchen).I can see the turmoil with your psychic abilities and intuition in the red mark on your third eye chackra,or just light effect “coincidence”?We obviously don’t know each other,but my spirit wants to let you know that something amazing for you is awaiting at the end of this experience and I really hope my intuition is going to prove right as it has been so far.Love and Light.
Alyssa – Thank you! 🙂
Savannah – that is awfully kind! Thanks for reading!
Kelli – thanks for commenting – I am looking forward to hearing more about your transition! 🙂
Greta – In perfect agreement and I hope to be able to stick it out. Something that I have noticed with travelling is that, ‘wherever you go, there you are’. One doesn’t automatically leave all the difficulties behind when one leaves a place.
Wonderful to hear from you Anna , with you all the way in your troubles , follow your mind , and you will find happiness , regards , Rajendran
Antonella – actually the red blotch over my third eye in that picture is the result of something more mundane – having had my eyebrows waxed half an hour before that picture was taken !!!
Thank you to everyone for your words, sharing your experiences & thoughts. Lovely to read these comments.
Vincent – Glad it gave you a laugh!!! Thanks for sharing 🙂
Anna – you look so happy in your recent pics in the UK – but I see so much sadness and resignation in your eyes in your recent NZ pic. Is this because you are doing what you feel you have to do to finish something you started or have left loved ones behind??
Having also found myself living somewhere that I should rather than want to I can relate. My guides stepped in and set into motion events that saw us get back on the right path to where we should be – your blog has taught me that!!
If you are meant to leave NZ before the 6 months is up you will too xxxx
Thanks for sharing and thanks for the pictures. I too get a thrill when I see your name pop of in my mailbox. I was wondering if you can relate your experience to your Life Lessons in some way.
I would also like to add that your experience with the fleas and other things in that house gives me the creeps, so I’m trying not to think about that. I was also wondering, were your spirit guides telling you that you can take a difficult path, or an easy path, but the important thing is where you end up?
But then why did your guides tell you that you needed to take the job at the flea infested house? A difficult path in my book. I’m still a little confused about what they were up to and what they expected you to gain from that.
You could consider NZ the best investment you’ve ever made…and it sounds like it was never really about residency in the first place (in hindsight) as it turns out, but rather about clarity. You got clear about the ROOT cause of your pain and perhaps by begging to “put down ‘roots” so to speak, something began to shift at a karmic Level. You began a healing journey – which is always a wise investment either way. NZ was your ‘ therapy’ – beautiful, serene, isolated, and where you were able to receive deep insight. And now you have interesting stories to write about as a result of taking this path. Congratulations for listening to your inner wisdom. And Thanks for sharing your journey.
Thanks for sharing your story Anna, it is lovely to see the photos. You have fought hard to get NZ residency, and now don’t want to be there, and you have 5 months to go, I hope you find some peace somewhere to enable you to stick it out, if that’s the path you decide to take. I wish you all the best Anna.
Hi Anna, Really love your blog and your honesty that comes through it. Yes it’s ok to feel as you do and act upon it, as your guides say, but I believe you should hang on there until the beginning of May. You should look at the bigger picture… there is a reason you went through all this process and urge to get NZ residency, you may not need it now but in the future it may be the answer to any situations that may occur in your life and you may need to go back. Xxx
Hi Anna. Ive been thinking of crossroads in life. A few times I asked was wondering what to do and most people would say ask God or your higher power first or course you prob know that well anyway I didn’t get a clear answer so I made a choice like we are supposed to always had moving involved and it wasn’t the best idea. I wonder today if I waited awhile for a clear answer before making a big decision things might have been better off.
Hi Dave,
I don’t know for sure why my guides would tell me to take a flea infested house sit, but if I hadn’t, I wouldn’t have met the person I referred to at the end of that story. And I definitely would go through that experience again to meet that person!
-Anna
What an absolutely fabulous post, Anna, I am going to share it with my family.
Dear Anna,
Thank you for sharing. I identify with you feeling “stuck” in a place you wish you weren’t.
If the guidance is not clearly saying to move, the treasure is to see the gift in the situation and in the current limitation.
To remove the good and bad judgment on the situation and to say that beyond the illusions, you create your reality and perhaps there is a loving reason for prolonging your stay in NZ, to close loose ends, to heal and to see deeper layers in relationships etc. Simply to ask, what is this circumstance teaching me? what is the gift? and letting the universe answer.
I love your sweet spirit and I wish you to have the confidence and the knowing what to do next, with a calm heart.
Anna I can’t say I’ve ever read a “newsletter” that resonated with me so much. I laughed out loud when you said “the housesit from hell”, and within a few minutes was moved to tears by your recounting of your grieving journey.
I followed my guidance 3 months ago by doing something I still know was right, but within 8 days the “journey from hell” started in my life and I know it isn’t finished.
The details are long and complex so I’ll skip them :-). Let’s just say I’ve been through multiple traumas in my life and where I am right now is probably the most emotionally painful place I’ve ever been.
Thank you for sharing your story so far. It reminds me that mine isn’t over yet.
Blessings ❤️
Thanks for your response Anna. Sorry for my confusion. I was in a rush when I read your article and glossed over a couple of little things. One was the importance of your new relationship, and the other was that you were house-sitting in the UK and not New Zealand. Upon that discovery everything became very clear. Since taking your course I have become more analytical of events in my life because some of them appear to be the result of my spirit guide attempting to communicate with me. So it is my belief that your guides were setting you up to make this new friend and having accomplished that, they must be very pleased with themselves. So I am very happy for them and also very happy for you and your new friend. Your article is like a novel that ends without tying up all the loose ends, suggesting a sequel. I will be looking forward to that.
Anna
Talking to my 8 year old son. Joys of being a child when survival and creative is a Minecraft game and any advice is from Stampy cat! lol
Thank you so much for sharing! I feel inspired by your bravery and am a little closer to sharing my story… although not quite ready yet haha.
I have a good feeling about what your next move in life will be ????????
Currently in the same situation as you Anna although in a totally different aspect. Thanks for this post. Now I know it’s OK to not have everything figured out or for it to be going according to what I thought.
For Karen Mervyn: I think I’m going to print this out and stick it on every wall in my home – “You don’t need to agree to a negative consequence to get what you want”. Thank you for writing this comment! I wonder how many of us subconsciously go around with this kind of nonsense bargaining going on in our heads?
Anna…thank you for this article…I had your newsletter sitting unopened in my inbox for quite a while and, for some reason, tonight was the night I read this article. I have been struggling with letting go of something that is my last connection to my daughter, but it is time. I know I am being nudged in this direction and reading this was yet another nudge telling me that it is okay, I will be okay, and letting go for now is okay. Again…thank you. -Amanda
For the past two years or so I have been stumbling along my life path here in NZ. Must say, for me, NZ is the best place I could ever imagine living in…even with two years of struggling. The outside things such as terrorism and wars feel far away from here. That phrase “wherever you go, there you are” keeps popping up. I even found it in a James Patterson book I have just read. So, now I am pondering the reason for it appearing so many times…maybe, if I don’t sort out my s*it the problems just keep coming with me! Thanks for the thought-provoking blog!xx
You are a brave woman! Not just for the choices you made for yourself but for taking full responsibility for all those things. For grieving the losses rather than fighting the emotional hurricane. And most of all, You are brave for sharing the parts and pieces of your life so that others may get help from it. There is this beauty in you that is rare and comes from you being true to yourself and your higher self.
Regards.
I am not sure how I found you or your course… why I bought it to never listen to it- that’s on me and I just started and am PSYCHED.
BUT there is something about you and the feelings of freedom you inspire, the journey you have created- continue to create and share here that is so completely resonant. You seem powerfully peaceful…I want that. Oh my goodness, guess that’s how I found you, ha. The question always has the solution…I felt the frequency change as I typed. How fun is that?
What a beautiful contribution to the world you are. T H A N K Y O U!
Anna,
I’m just reading this after a toxic episode with two of my controlling siblings. I had been asking my guides, the universe if cutting ties, moving and starting freshwas what I needed and your article popped up while I was deleting their negative emails to me.
Thank you thank you! If this isn’t a sign from my guides I dont know what is. It is time to move on.