If You Want a Better Life, Focus on This

I am a fan of a YouTube channel called Coming Home. It posts interesting and beautifully produced videos, with stories from people who have had Near Death Experiences (NDE’s).

Recently there was a video posted on their channel which was my favourite one of all.

I’m going to talk about one of the insights from it, which I think that anyone on a spiritual path can benefit from.

First, a bit of backstory: The video that I am referencing was an NDE account from Vincent Tolman, who in 2003 was a young bodybuilder who accidentally overdosed on a bodybuilding supplement. He lost consciousness and suffocated inside a locked bathroom of a Dairy Queen in Utah, and when the paramedics arrived (45 minutes after he had died), he was obviously pronounced dead. They put him into a body bag and took him to hospital.

One of the paramedics was new to the job and had an intuition that he should go against protocol and try to revive Vincent. The more experienced paramedics yelled at him and said he was going to be fired for going against protocol, but the paramedic succeeded in reviving Vincent, despite him already having been dead for some time.

Vincent was in a coma and on life support for 3 days until he suddenly regained consciousness and then immediately checked himself out of the hospital.

You can watch his NDE account here:

I am fascinated by NDE stories and have read and watched many of them. This story is one that stands out firstly because it is so detailed, and secondly because when Vincent was on the ‘other side’, he was shown so much about how life here on earth really works.

Here is what Vincent was told during his time on the ‘other side’:

  • We are here partly to learn how to use our thoughts to create
  • Life is a school and a playground. Earth is like spiritual “resistance training” for souls to grow and develop themselves through earthly experiences
  • He was also told that there is a ‘religion of darkness’ on earth that some people follow. Much popular culture and some media outlets promote this ‘religion’. This religion wants to keep people fearful – following the news, and watching violent and horrible things, because it makes them traumatised, destabilised and easier to influence. This ‘religion’ also promotes narcissistic values and encourages people to portray a perfect life to others on social media

Here’s a quote from Vincent’s book (this is from a conversation he was having with his guide on the ‘other side’):

“…it’s the religion of darkness; the lowest frequencies of hate, envy, and fear. It’s a scourge across the entire planet. Its followers can be as fanatically devoted to it as a committed follower of God. They live it, breathe it, preach it to others. They seek converts to join them in their philosophy. There are people on earth who benefit from this religion. As long as they can keep drama and fear and loathing in the forefront of peoples’ minds, they can keep the world divided…” 

I’m sure these are ideas that have been covered by others, but the way he talked about them in his book and video really resonated with me.

The main insight that I took from this NDE story is that our environment and what we surround ourselves with, is one of the most important things in determining the outcome of our life.

When we spend time in negative environments (offline and online) we take on those negative energies and attitudes and they become hard to get rid of.

If you want to manifest a desired outcome in your life, one of the most important things to realise is that it’s hard or even impossible to manifest that positive outcome if you are routinely putting yourself into environments where people are fearful, hateful, mean or jealous.

I took myself and my business off social media (Facebook and Instagram) a few years back, after the whistleblower Frances Haugen made her revelations about how Mark Zuckerberg and his company really operate – I don’t think I was under any illusions as to the benevolence of these organisations prior to that time but this just confirmed it. I had 12,000+ followers on Facebook but I deleted my account and didn’t look back.

I do believe that a lot of social media (Facebook, Instagram, Reddit, lots of online forums) are not a force for good.

Obviously social media is not all bad. It also provides some benefits but I believe that on balance, social media companies are part of the “religion of darkness”, because their algorithms are primarily designed to induce fear, outrage, disgust, jealousy and sadness in us. These are the emotions that impel us to engage with content, leave comments or react with an emoji. The more we get angry, hateful and fearful, and engage with content, the more money the social media companies make.

People are being milked for their negative emotions, and when this happens, it makes it harder to focus on what is positive and good about our lives and the world. This kind of positive focus is what allows us to create a desired outcome.

I wrote about this principle here: What Are You Consuming & How Is It Affecting Your Manifesting Process?

If you have a life you’re not enjoying or you’re experiencing a lot of things you don’t want, the very best thing you can do right now is exercise self-discipline and turn away from sources of negativity in your life, both online and offline.

Be mindful of what you are consuming in terms of TV, movies and books. Realise that if you spend time with someone who is hateful, mean, constantly sarcastic, or always looking for what is wrong with the world or wrong with you, it’s like going round to that person’s house for a cup of tea and they give you a vial of poison which you drink together. That poison will stay in your system, especially if you repeat the experience regularly.

I also believe this is one of the keys to healing from C-PTSD and trauma. I had a rough childhood and had PTSD for decades after I grew up and left home. I struggled a lot with that, but in recent years it has not troubled me nearly as much as it used to. The improvements came not only because I did healing and changed my mindset, but also because I removed myself from situations, relationships and environments which were triggering old traumas or somehow reminiscent of the bad times. I got insight into the environments I was choosing to go into and how they reflected old wounds. Then when I got that insight, I chose to walk away and seek out something different. A person can do all the trauma healing in the world, but if they keep seeking out low-vibrational environments, they will never heal or move on. (It took me a long time to work this out and I wanted to share in case this is of benefit to anyone else.)

In summary:

Avoidance is powerful.

Vincent Tolman also has a book about his NDE which I really enjoyed: The Light After Death: My Journey to Heaven and Back

(This is not a sponsored post. I am sharing what I personally think is of benefit.)

Meet Anna

Hi, I’m Anna Sayce! My purpose here on this website is to provide practical techniques and information to help empaths to understand, and fix the root of their energetic overwhelm & also to help sensitives to embrace and develop their intuitive gifts. I believe that developing our spiritual & intuitive side is very powerful and allows us to improve our own lives, and if we wish, even make the world a better place for others. Discover more >


  1. Gladdie

    Thank you for this post. I always felt inclined to not use the social media platforms to promote my business but a friend kept encouraging it. Very interesting post . I will look into the channel you mentioned.

    • Anna Sayce

      Hi Gladdie, thanks for commenting! I don’t actually find social media very beneficial as a business owner… I’ve written about that before. 10 years ago it was a great way to reach more people, but these days it’s not, for various reasons.

  2. Brooke Kelly

    I always look forward to your articles. Thank you for sharing.

    • Anna Sayce

      Thanks, Brooke! Glad you enjoy my articles

  3. Kate

    I am curious about the “religion” he spoke of. What do you think of or interpret his meaning to be? Is it a collective behavior among many different groups? Is there conscience awareness about the harm it causes? What’s the source?
    I see it everyday. I recently deleted Facebook and don’t miss it a bit.

  4. Anna Sayce

    Hello Kate,

    You would probably have to read his book to get his full take on it. But from what I could gather, he says Earth is a place where we get to experience good and evil. To triumph over darkness is something that causes us to grow as souls, so that is why it is an inherent feature of this world.

    I felt he was referring to negativity in general when he referred to that ‘religion’.

    In terms of negativity, I don’t feel that he was espousing toxic positivity or encouraging people to bypass real negative emotion such as righteous anger, protective fear, or grief (because those are emotions that require processing or acting on), but rather seemed to be referring more to things like narcissism, cruelty & bullying, fear (induced by the news), dehumanising and discriminating against people based on gender, sexual orientation, religion, ethnicity, political stance, things like that.

    I think there’s a lot of that going on at the moment. Politics in the west has become very polarised and charged with hatred, and I believe that is partly down to social media.

    Those who might profit from this state of affairs: media outlets, big social media/tech companies, and some might say, political parties/governments (I guess it depends on whether you think governments and political parties have an overall positive or negative agenda.)

    Negativity (like cruelty, fear, outrage) takes up residence in the energy field and takes work to dislodge. If we could see the poison entering us, sitting in our energy field, making it repellent, maybe people would try to beautify themselves by taking in lovely, wholesome entertainment instead. 🙂

    I don’t think tons of people are consciously aware of the problem. Vincent thinks some people are walking through life like robots, hypnotised by technology. But there has been a big increase in mental health problems in recent decades. Some might say those problems were always there and are being recognised more these days. But I think anyone who spends a lot of time watching the news, regularly watching TV programs about problems in the world, or serial killers, brutality or violence, or arguing with people on the internet is probably not going to feel good afterwards!

    Some of this might be my take on it, and may not be 100% aligned with Vincent Tolman’s.

  5. Lin

    Thank you Anna for reminding me to stay positive which can be very difficult sometimes. I am looking forward to reading your newsletter articles! Enjoy your day and thanks again.

    • Anna Sayce

      Thanks, Lin! I’m glad you enjoy my newsletter


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