A few years back, a psychic predicted that I wouldn’t meet a suitable long-term partner until I’m in my mid-forties (I’m 29.) I’ve been dating for about 6 months and haven’t met anyone interesting yet. In fact, the dating process has left me feeling a bit demoralized. I do wonder if this prediction was right and meeting someone is ‘not meant to be’ right now. Do you have any thoughts on this?
Thanks for sending in your question. You’re touching on a big philosophical question that many people wonder and ask about.
Here’s my take on it:
In life, there are clearly two forces at work: The force that deals the cards (fate, God, or the Universe..call it what you will!) giving you circumstances and events that are outside of your control and the force that responds to these events and has the free will to choose (i.e. you!)
The cards that you’re dealt
I believe that before you incarnate, your soul will put into place certain birth circumstances, limitations and strengths for you to work with throughout your life, in order to explore certain themes or life lessons.
And yes, as part of this, there are often a handful of events which are pre-destined – these events could be meeting an important person in your life, having a child, working in a certain field, having an illness, having a difficult relationship with a parent or sibling, etc.
Here are the factors that makes it difficult to talk about these pre-destined events/circumstances with any kind of generality:
- The type, as well as the number of these pre-destined events will really vary from person to person
- The timing of pre-destined events can be flexible
- I believe that in rare cases, pre-destined events that are put in place can also be cancelled by the soul (i.e. the soul alters their life contract once they are incarnated.)
So let’s say that you have a handful of these pre-destined events and circumstances in your life plan. To some extent, you will need to work with those pre-destined events. But in between those pre-destined events, you also have a big grey area where the outcome of what happens in your life depends on you and your choices.
This is why predictions are notoriously hard to get right
Psychics often cannot predict the future with much accuracy because the future largely depends on the choices you will make. You make one choice, and it takes you down a certain road, which causes you to make another choice, which puts you on another path, and so it continues.
There are just too many unknown variables to say for certain where you will end up!
Much of what happens to us is NOT pre-destined, so what psychics are often tuning in to are likelihoods and possibilities.
You are in control of these to a large extent.
We can hold ourselves back if we assume that Spirit is going to do the work for us and throw events or people onto our path at a certain time because it’s ‘meant to be’. Such events do occur in our lives from time to time (and for some people more than others), but more often, such a passive mindset can lead to us creating NOTHING in our lives.
It is up to us to get clear on what we want, and then do two things:
1. Ask for guidance and help to get us there
2. Take action
There is an African proverb which exemplifies this:
“Pray, but when you pray, move your feet”
So, what is the likely meaning of your prediction?
There are a few possibilities here:
1. You have a path in front of you where you might manifest love later on in life, but it’s a likelihood, not a certitude
Perhaps there are some factors in your life which make this a strong possibility for you – it could be that you’re very busy with work and you don’t have time to even look for a relationship. Maybe you have an emotional issue interfering with romantic relationships, which you might not feel motivated to work out until later on in your life (Emma, I am not suggesting either of those applies to you – just a couple of random examples.)
Don’t want to take this path of waiting for love? Then don’t – continue to make finding a relationship a priority in your life, and make your life a fertile place for finding a good relationship.
2. You do indeed have a soul contract to meet someone important later on in your life, who may or may not be a long-term partner.
I once had a prediction that I would meet a partner – the psychic gave me the person’s initials, the way they looked, their star sign, and their age. I did meet this person (who matched the prediction in an uncanny way) and he was a big catalyst for me in my personal life, but he was not someone who would have been a good match for me romantically.
This is very common.
Pre-destined soul contracts that psychics pick up on are often not the ones that will lead to long term relationships – the fact that they are pre-destined in the first place will often be because those relationships will act as catalysts to help us to learn something about ourselves or others. (We put these onto our path before we even incarnate to help us to grow.) So, these ‘soul mates’ come into your life, shake things up and then leave you changed.
So it could be that your prediction is half correct- you will meet someone who makes a big impact on your life, but this person won’t necessarily stick around or even be what you’re expecting.
So, Emma, I encourage you to focus on that grey area in your life’s plan which is dependent on your choices and actions. There is so much about your life that is within your control – including how you respond to the events which happen to you.
And when you experience obstacles on the path? Don’t necessarily take this as a sign that it is not meant to be – we usually have to put some effort into getting what we want – sometimes a lot of effort!
I also recommend asking/channelling your Spirit Guides and Higher self to direct you towards those choices which lead you to your desired outcome. And when you get that guidance from them, don’t forget to move your feet.
While I rarely comment on your blogs, I’m always inspired by your honesty and groundedness and you always strike a perfect balance of trusting the divine and working on what we can. This is such a gift for all of us.
I couldn’t agree more with your statements and agree with taking action steps and listening to your intuition.
Emma, one of the books that I feel really prepared me for love on a practical, emotional, mental and spiritual level is Katherine Woodward-Thomas’ “Calling in the One”. I wouldn’t get tied up with the idea of attracting The One in 7 Weeks as the title suggests but pay attention to the exercises. We all have histories, habits, beliefs, preconceived notions that influence who we meet and how we act. If you are open for a journey of self-discovery and self-awareness, and are willing to take control of the grey space, as Anna suggested, this is a great start.
The exercises in this book helped improve all my relationships (romantic or not).
Knowing you are going to meet an important someone in your life that could be a spouse or partner is something that happens to most of us, so paying a psychic to tell us that may be a waste of good funds you could put into the actual process of getting yourself ready and out there to meet someone. I personally need to get my own arse out there now that my first life spouse has been gone four years now. I am just not motivated yet. Are you? That may be the key or why are you not motivated to make it happen.. If you have to go to 42nd st on friday to do that task, do it!! You may meet the person there. You do need to be open to the event, but creatively. So work on both, being Open and be gentle with you and then try a few new things you don’t normally do, so you can create some new action forward!