One of the questions I have had since writing about the Law of Assumption is:
Is it possible (or advisable) to manifest a romantic relationship with a Specific Person? (This is often abbreviated to SP in the Law of Assumption community.)
If you’d like to read the short version of this article, here are the main points:
- Yes, you can manifest a specific person – Neville Goddard himself did it
- In my experience, it’s not always a good use of your creative energy to manifest an SP you hardly know. In most cases, I only recommend manifesting an SP you already love and have a high level of compatibility with
- A desire for an SP is often your soul wanting to take you on a journey of repairing and improving your self-concept
- Some (but not all) people who go through this process of manifesting an SP end up not wanting the SP once their self-concept has improved
- Even if you end up no longer wanting your SP by the time you have manifested them, I still think it’s a worthwhile process because in the end it results in an improved self-concept, which can only improve your future love life, and life overall
- And if you do still want your SP by the time they show up, you end up with not only a better version of your SP, but also a much improved self-concept and first-hand knowledge of your own power as a creator.
If you’d like to read the long-winded version of the article, here it is:
Can you manifest a relationship with a specific person, and is it even a good idea?
If you’ve been reading my series of articles on the Law of Assumption, you will know that I believe we live in a multiverse, and that you can manifest for other people in general.
(If you haven’t already, please go and read this article: EIYPO: Can We Manifest for Other People?
…before continuing with this one.)
So, if it’s theoretically possible to manifest for other people, is it a good idea?
Neville Goddard in one of his lectures tells the story of manifesting marriage with his second wife after he met her. So he actually manifested a specific person (more on that at the end of this article) and it is theoretically possible.
Whether or not it is a good idea depends on your individual situation.
One thing I personally don’t feel is a good idea is manifesting a relationship with someone you hardly know.
Here’s the main reason why I say this:
There are billions of people in the world. If you are single and open to a relationship, there’s a lot of people who could potentially be right for you. The problem is that from your limited human way of seeing things, you have absolutely no idea if that specific person you barely know who you’re now manifesting a relationship with, is the best match for you.
There could be dozens, hundreds, thousands or even tens of thousands of people out there who are way better matches for you romantically.
You don’t know. But your higher self knows, and has a bigger perspective on this.
Therefore, you may be manifesting a relationship with a specific person and it turns out that this person is not someone you would ever want to be in a relationship with.
I have had this experience myself. Rather than take Neville’s word (or anyone else’s word for it) I like to experiment with the Law of Assumption concepts I learn.
As an experiment, I once tried to manifest a date with someone specific that I liked, but only knew superficially. He asked me out and we went on a date (as I had wanted) but it was not a good experience. In fact, my interactions with this person when we were dating briefly caused a lot of stress. He was quite aggressive and insistent that we should be together, while I was finding some of his behaviour off-putting. I had done such a good job of manifesting him that it was hard to get rid of him even after I’d concluded we weren’t a match. In this case, I had manifested from my ego, not from my higher self, and this does sometimes happen with “specific person” manifestations, especially when we don’t know the person we’re manifesting very well.
Even if we’re manifesting someone we do know well and know we want to be with, an intense desire for a specific person (to the point that we’re willing to put in work to bring that person into our life) often results from a low self-concept or attachment wounds (I’ll talk more about that later in this article…)
Why some people end up not wanting the specific person they manifested…
Indeed some people who put significant effort into manifesting a relationship with a specific person, end up not wanting the relationship by the time it shows up in their world, or abandon the project before it shows up.
There is a very specific reason for this, and it’s to do with self-concept.
I wrote about self-concept in this article and defined it as: “the thoughts you habitually have about yourself, and how you feel about yourself. Your self-concept also includes what you think the people around you think of you.”
How is self-concept relevant?
Well, the relationship that seems desirable to you is a reflection of your current self-concept.
So, for example, if your self-esteem is not good, you may be drawn to people who treat you poorly or people who are unavailable and cannot give you what you need.
Everyone is you pushed out, and must reflect how you feel about yourself deep down in your subconscious mind.
The main way that you work on manifesting a specific person into your life is by becoming someone who is highly desirable to this person, by modifying your self-concept in a positive sense. To manifest an SP, you have to see yourself as desirable (especially to this person) and put yourself on a pedestal in your own mind.
People who teach manifesting a specific person advise ignoring the 3D reality if this person has rejected you, and using affirmations and doing SATS that suggest the relationship you desire has come to pass.
(There’s actually a whole subreddit on Reddit dedicated solely to manifesting an SP the Neville Goddard way, and people do succeed, even in the most unlikely of situations.)
But anyway, back to our hypothetical scenario.
Let’s say that you put significant effort into improving your self-concept and manifesting this person.
Here is the process you go through, when you do this:
When you begin manifesting this person through changing your self-concept, you usually start off with something of a lack mentality. (If you didn’t, you probably wouldn’t be putting effort into manifesting your specific person.)
As you work on improving your self-concept, and seeing yourself as a wonderful person and desirable partner, you can sometimes lose the enthusiasm for manifesting your specific person.
You feel worthy of something wonderful in love, your attachment wounds have faded, and by this point you may start to wonder: why this person? What if there’s someone better suited out there for me?
In my experience, 7 times out of 10, when a person improves their self-concept and is manifesting an SP, this is what happens. They are starting out from a place of low self-concept and attachment wounds, and through their manifesting efforts, they start to feel they deserve better.
So, in some cases through your manifestation efforts, the specific person will actually show up, wanting to begin a relationship, but you’ve lost your enthusiasm for your original desire (note that this sometimes happens, but doesn’t apply in every case.)
Successful SP manifestations
Some people are successful at manifesting a specific person and end up having long-lasting, successful relationships.
Here’s what I’ve noticed about those cases: they tended to be people who had already been in a loving relationship of some sort with their specific person. Compatibility had already been established, the connection between the two people was already amazing, and no conscious manifesting was required to achieve this. But there was some circumstance that meant they could not be together (usually a low self-concept). Manifesting removed that circumstance and allowed the relationship to go ahead.
Personally I would only work on manifesting an SP if the relationship had already been amazing and there was a lot of compatibility.
But this is just my personal opinion, which is based on my experiences and the experiences of people I’ve observed who have been through this process. You do you.
Neville’s experience manifesting a specific person
When Neville Goddard met his second wife, Catherine Willa Van Schumus, he just knew he wanted to be married to her. Of this, he said in one of his lectures:
“The very first time I met her, I knew she was going to be my wife. She didn’t know it, but I knew it. I said to myself, “She doesn’t know it, but she is going to be my wife.”
So he put the Law of Assumption to work, and said the following about his efforts to manifest her as his wife:
“I went to bed and slept as though I was happily married to the girl who now bears my name. I did not have any physical emotion with her: just that she was sleeping there, and I am here, and it’s blissful. I did that for one solid week.”
Long story short, Neville later married this woman he imagined being his wife and they remained married until his death.
But on the other hand, he also says this about people trying to manifest an SP:
“Always go to the end. Dwell in the end, and you will hurt no one. But if you try to devise the means, you are, well, messing the whole thing up. I have had people say to me, “You know, I want that man, and no other man.”
I said, “No, you don’t; you want to be happily married. You don’t want that man or no man.”
“Oh, yes, that man or no man.”
Then, of course, this always shocks them.
I say, “If he dropped dead right now, would you want to be married?”
“Well, he isn’t going to drop…”
“I didn’t ask you that. If he dropped dead right now, or if he is right this very moment accused of being the world’s greatest thief or murderer, do you still want him”
“Well, now, why ask those questions, Neville? I want that man.”
But, you see, it isn’t that man. They want to be happily married. I have gone to so many weddings where it was either that man or none, and it wasn’t “that man”! And they are embarrassed when they see me standing in the aisle, because it had to be “that man or no man,” and here it isn’t that man at all. And they walk down [the aisle] – they are happy with their new mate, but a little sheepish as they pass by because they know I know he was not the man.”
So, from this we can surmise that Neville had students who wanted a particular man, but ended up marrying someone else.
This does sometimes happen in my experience talking to people who have tried to manifest an SP.
When people desire strongly to manifest an SP, what their soul wants most of all is to take them on a journey of coming home to themselves — improving their self-concept, loving themselves, valuing themselves and breaking down any barriers within themselves that are blocking them off from love. (The SP will then show up as a side effect of that work.)
Of love, Neville says:
“Love is our birthright. Love is the fundamental necessity of our life. Do not go seeking for that which you are. Those who go seeking for love only make manifest their own lovelessness and the loveless never find love. Only the loving find love and they never have to seek for it.”
By manifesting an SP, you will go on a journey of becoming loved, loving and loveable in your imagination, simply because you must become those things in order to manifest an SP.
As the Sufi mystic and poet Rumi says:
“Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.”
You are love. Neville Goddard and many other mystical teachers believe that we are microcosms of the larger whole; of the Universe. We are all of it, including all the love in the Universe. We can tap into that love at any time – we are loved, we are loveable and we are loving.
Manifesting an SP will take you on this journey of breaking down these barriers to the love that is available to you and always has been available to you (because it IS you).
And if you feel called to manifest an SP, it can be a positive step and a wonderful thing to do, precisely for this reason. I would never dissuade anyone from going down that path if they feel it is right for them, and you can definitely succeed at manifesting that specific person. But don’t be surprised if you end up losing your enthusiasm for a relationship with your SP by the time you’re done with this process, because you no longer need the love that comes from this one person that you made so important.
Not everyone loses their enthusiasm for their SP, but many do.
If you get your SP back and you still want them, great. But even if you end up no longer wanting your SP, the journey still will have been worth it, because by the end of it you’ll come out with a much better self-concept, which improves your life (and love life) in myriad ways.