Life Lessons — How to Stop Attracting Negative Experiences

If you follow my work, you’ll know that a big part of it is reading the Akashic Records for clients and teaching others how to read the records, too.

One of the most interesting aspects of an Akashic Record reading is finding out your life lessons for this lifetime.

Your primary life lesson is like a golden thread that underlies many of your life experiences and relationships. You will be attracting situations and experiences that help you to learn this life lesson. Some of those experiences will be negative and some will be positive.

But the ratio of negative to positive experiences that show up within your life experience, is entirely within your control, and is dependent on your attitudes, beliefs, thoughts, emotions and assumptions about life. 

In this article I’m also going to talk about several life lessons and what kind of experiences show up for each, when we’re learning them positively vs negatively. And I’ll talk about how we can manifest more of the positive experiences and less of the negative ones. 

But first before we talk about manifesting and creating change in our lives, let’s get into this concept of life lessons deeper.

One of the main reasons souls incarnate here on Earth is to learn. 

Before we arrive here as souls, we decide on a curriculum of “life lessons” we are going to learn. These are like energetic qualities or themes that we will explore during a given lifetime. 

The reason we learn these life lessons as souls is to reach a place of greater ‘wholeness’. On the soul level, we always have strengths but there are also energetic qualities that we lack in ourselves. And the purpose of life lessons is to give us experiences that change us slightly on the soul level, so that we can integrate those energetic qualities into our soul, and reach a greater sense of wholeness on the soul level.

We usually have one primary life lesson (which will be the dominant one) and multiple secondary life lessons, which are more minor. It usually takes several earthly lives to explore one life lesson, and when we do complete a life lesson, one of our secondary lessons takes its place as the primary. 

You can find out your life lesson by getting an Akashic Record reading, or by learning to read your own akashic soul record. You can also sometimes identify your life lesson by looking at your past experiences and trying to identify the theme that underlies them all.

In this article, I’m going to give you some examples of very common life lessons that recent clients of mine have been learning, and then I’ll talk about how we can learn them more positively, so that we’re not attracting the negative experiences into our lives so much.

First of all, let’s look at my primary lesson: moderation.


When this lesson is being learned negatively (where you’ve consistently been falling into negative thoughts, emotions, attitudes, assumptions and beliefs) a life lesson of moderation may turn into addiction.

You may find yourself with an active addiction to a substance or an obsessive romantic relationship that you can’t seem to let go of. Perhaps you have someone in your life who is bad for you but you keep letting them back in.

You may aim for sensible, moderate habits but be unable to sustain them. You may feel powerless against your urges and impulses. 

If you work on shifting your mindset to something more positive through the Law of Assumption, and you have a life lesson of moderation, you’ll find yourself being more able to say ‘no’ and follow through on it.

Addictive or obsessive relationships will become less attractive and will fall out of your life.

If you’re addicted to something, you’ll find yourself getting sober.

As mentioned, this is my life lesson.

I am a bit gung-ho and have in the past had problems doing anything in moderation. I used to say, I only have two gears — first gear and fifth gear, and that there is no middle path for me; I’m either all in or I’m all out.

These days I feel things have changed, mainly since I have been using the Law of Assumption to recreate my world. The Law of Assumption is a spiritual teaching for manifesting popularised by the New Thought author Neville Goddard. It’s similar to the Law of Attraction (but I prefer it to the Law of Attraction.)

Since I’ve been using the Law of Assumption to manifest changes in my reality, I’ve found that I have started to explore my primary life lesson (moderation) in different, more positive ways. 

Example: when I started using the Law of Assumption, I was able to kick my lifelong sugar and chocolate addiction. I used to eat large amounts of dark chocolate on a daily basis. I now am able to mostly stay away from sugar for health reasons. I haven’t reached a place of perfect moderation with this habit, but I’m happy to be reaping the rewards of a mostly sugar-free life — a healthier body and less inflammation.

If you have a life lesson of moderation, but you struggle with some of the things I mentioned above, I recommend using some affirmations which can help you to learn this life lesson more positively. Here’s an example of a couple you can use for this life lesson:

“I indulge in the pleasures of life in moderation.”

“I love that I have finally been able to kick unhealthy habits.”

“I am able to self-soothe.”

Now let’s look at another common life lesson:


If you have a life lesson of self-worth but you’re learning it negatively, you may find yourself in abusive or one-sided relationships, where you’re expected to give, give, & give some more, but there’s not a lot that’s nourishing or healthy in those relationships for you. 

You may find yourself in all kinds of situations where people are behaving parasitically and you are allowing it. Perhaps you have a boss who expects you to work overtime and doesn’t pay you for it (underearning is a common theme for people with a life lesson of self-worth.)

If you shift your mindset towards something more positive through the Law of Assumption, and you have this life lesson, you’ll find after a while that you have a beautiful self-concept. Your life will begin to reflect this. Parasitic, one-sided relationships will fall away. You will be fairly paid for your work. People will treat you better. You will treat yourself better. 

Affirmations to learn a life lesson of self-worth positively:

“I am worthy of the very best that life has to offer”

“I am always treated beautifully”

Inner authority

This is another common life lesson, where a person is learning to trust themselves and their own perceptions. They’re also learning not to put so much stock in what other people think and believe.

I’ve seen people with a life lesson of inner authority get into a cult (many people who end up in cults are learning this life lesson) — that’s probably the ‘rock bottom’ experience for learning this negatively.

If you are learning a life lesson of inner authority more positively, you will find yourself with a strong sense of discernment and a well-developed BS radar. You will stop caring so much about what other people think or believe. You’ll be able to tune out all the noise and tune in to your feelings, beliefs, thoughts, and opinions, and act on those. 

You will become your #1 authority for you, and you’ll feel secure in that. 

Affirmations for learning this life lesson positively:

“I trust myself, and my perceptions.”

“I answer to no-one.”

Let’s have a look at another life lesson now that sometimes comes up for my clients. 


When you have a life lesson of persistence but you’re learning it negatively, you will have a goal (or multiple goals) that you keep giving up on. When you encounter obstacles or get off track, you will get discouraged and let it affect your progress negatively.

If you learn persistence in a positive way, you will enjoy the wonderful experience of overcoming any obstacle in your path, on the way to your goal. How satisfying! The right resources will show up at the right time, to help you persist.

Affirmations for learning this life lesson positively:

“It is so satisfying that I am able to easily and quickly overcome any obstacles in my path”

“I always get what I want”


When you have a life lesson of emotionality, you’re learning to handle and navigate your strong negative emotions (such as anger, sadness, or jealousy) in a healthy way.

If you’re learning this in a negative way, you may find yourself allowing emotions, such as anger, to permanently damage valuable relationships. Or maybe you get into a road rage altercation!

If you’re learning this in a more positive way, you will find yourself able to hold space for your negative emotions, and you’ll allow them to pass through you without reacting to them.

Affirmation for learning this life lesson positively:

“I welcome in and accept all of my emotions, positive and negative.”

These are just 5 of the common life lessons I come across (there are 82 more life lessons that a soul can choose to learn, that I know of.)

How to have more positive experiences connected to your life lesson

Step one: Find out your life lesson through a reading

Step two: Come up with an affirmation which encapsulates that life lesson being learned positively, and repeat it daily for 5 minutes per day, for a period of several weeks.

Learn how to use affirmations here.

You will soon find yourself attracting more positive experiences into your life. 

You also don’t need to know your life lesson to do this. Write down some of the negative experiences you’ve had recently or things you’ve struggled with, and then decide what the opposite of those experiences are. Affirm for that.

So, for example, if you have struggled to find somewhere permanent to live over the last few years because you keep renting places and the landlord sells up soon after you move in, affirm: “It is so wonderful I now have a permanent place to live” or “I feel so secure and settled in my new home.”

If you’d like to learn about the 87 life lessons and how to find out about yours, check out my Akashic Record Reading Program, which is currently on sale at 25% off. 

And if you know your life lesson and want a positive affirmation for it, comment below! I’ll write one for you. 

If you’re not sure of your life lesson but you just want more good stuff in your life, read my series of articles on the Law of Assumption. You can find the first article here (click on the links at the end of each article to take you to the next one.) The first article is about how I changed my life through the Law of Assumption and subsequent articles go into how you can do this for yourself.

Meet Anna

Hi, I’m Anna Sayce! My purpose here on this website is to provide practical techniques and information to help empaths to understand, and fix the root of their energetic overwhelm & also to help sensitives to embrace and develop their intuitive gifts. I believe that developing our spiritual & intuitive side is very powerful and allows us to improve our own lives, and if we wish, even make the world a better place for others. Discover more >


  1. Cody

    Perseverance life lesson?

  2. Ali

    Hi Anna!

    A few months ago I was watching Vishen Lakhiani. He was saying that affirmations don’t work… Instead he is using questions to “stimulate” the subconscious. Something like this: why am I always connected to source?

    What do you think? Does Neville Goddard mention anything about this.

    Thanks (love your articles)

  3. Anna Sayce

    Hi Cody,

    “I love that I always persevere”

    “Obstacles fear me”

    “No matter what happens in life, I always come out on top”

    “I always get what I want”

    “I am willing to do what it takes to succeed”

    “Everything that happens in life is taking me towards my desired outcomes and highest good”

    I recommend only using the ones that resonate with you.

  4. Anna Sayce

    Hi Ali,

    Affirmations stated as questions are still affirmations. Different techniques work for different people. Affirmations have been very effective for me.

    The main thing is that you remain in the state of your wish fulfilled as often as possible. Sometimes techniques help get us there and then sometimes people don’t need any techniques. I recommend experimenting to find out which techniques are helpful for you.

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