I just wanted to write a little update about why it’s been so quiet around here in recent months.
Late last year I found out I had the autoimmune disease lupus.
My health had been in decline for several years but it all came to a head around August of last year when I started to have some alarming symptoms. This has been a life-changing experience.
I am lucky that I don’t have kidney involvement but lupus left me deeply tired, in constant pain, covered in rashes, and unable to go outside during the day, or tolerate any light at all. I had to hire someone to do errands and shopping for me during the day and I spent last summer here in the Southern Hemisphere completely indoors.
I knew from the start that I didn’t want to take any medication for the lupus. First of all I went on the Wahls Protocol, which is an excellent autoimmune diet and lifestyle plan that got rid of the pain and fatigue within a matter of weeks (as long as I remained indoors.)
I was so grateful to be pain free and able to function again, but my life was very limited.
Over the last several months I’ve done a lot of soul searching, and I decided that I am not going to be someone who spends the rest of their summers indoors. I am not going to be someone who is on a special diet forever. I needed to find out why this disease had taken root in my body and how it was going to be halted, reversed and got rid of completely. I became fascinated with cases of people who had achieved this already and been free of lupus for decades, after having being told their illness was terminal or would be with them forever.
I knew it would take me some time to achieve this, but this has been my full time job since late last year and why I haven’t been blogging recently.
In this post I wanted to share my findings and what I am doing, because I know I am not the only one dealing with a disease or an ailment like this.
I read several interesting books about the latest findings in neuroscience and epigenetics, and from these understood that our genes are not our destiny.
My great-grandmother died of multiple sclerosis (an autoimmune disease) but that does not mean that I was destined to also have an autoimmune disease.
Our genes are constantly being influenced by our environment — and it is our environment that switches genes on or off, that create disease or health. Our environment includes of course what we eat, the air that we breathe, and perhaps most importantly, the thoughts we think, the experiences that we have, and the emotions we feel.
Reading Bruce Lipton’s book The Biology of Belief taught me that our cells are programmable – we can program them with health or disease based on the proteins our bodies make, the quality of which is governed by our environment – our diet, our self talk, and our inner world.
Looking back over the last several years, I see that I have fallen into well-worn neural pathways of negative thinking, and I have been living in the emotions of stress (cortisol, adrenaline and norepinephrine). This has been going on for quite some time, and I talked about it in these blog posts.
- Dealing with Emotional, Physical & Spiritual Burnout
- Releasing Traumatic Stress from the Events of 2020
Medically, it’s called “depression” (which is common with lupus), but basically it was an old habit that I didn’t know how to break. Because bodies become addicted to the chemicals they are accustomed to, I now see that my body was addicted to the emotions connected to stress, and in the last few years or so had begun to expect to feel these emotions everyday.
In my meditations, I saw that my light body (the totality of my energy bodies) had become devoid of life force energy to the point of emptiness. I was totally depleted. With every new negative thought that I thought, I became sicker and more depleted of vital life force, until I had none left and I knew I was on a very bad path if I did not change.
I needed to find a way to nourish and build my light body, and change my brain, which according to the latest research in neuroscience & neuroplasticity, will eventually change my physical body.
- Everyday I do my best to observe any negative thoughts, feelings or behaviours and interrupt them, re-routing them into something more positive
- I’m doing the DNRS program, which involves an hour per day of visualising positive scenarios and remembering happy memories from the past
- I’m elevating my mood every day by doing things I love and feeling positive emotions (for no reason)
- I’ve cut out the news, social media, all one-sided relationships and anything that is emotionally toxic from my life
- I’m doing 1 or 2 Joe Dispenza meditations every day, which put me into a state of deep relaxation, gratitude and/or joy
- And I’m enjoying living my life.
Changing the brain and my hardwired habits is extremely hard work but I am encouraged to see that a lot of inflammation has disappeared, the disease has not progressed any further and it has begun to reverse itself. I won’t stop until I have reversed the lupus fully and it is gone from my life, permanently. I realise that in order to achieve this, I will likely need to become a new person with new habits and thinking, which takes time.
One of the things I’ve learned from the books I read on neuroscience is that people who take on the identity of an ill person and focus on their health (i.e. constantly talking about it and thinking about it), tend to remain in that identity, so I won’t be blogging about the topic of health again until after I’ve gone into remission and all autoimmune antibodies have disappeared from my body. I am also not answering questions such as “How’s your health?” for the same reason.
But I did want to write this update as I felt disconnected from my community after an absence of so many months.
My courses (and sessions with me) are all open but it’s likely that you’ll hear less from me in 2022, depending on how quickly I recover.
Here are the books that have most influenced me. (I highly recommend them if you have any health issues.)
- The Biology of Belief by Bruce Lipton
- The Brain that Changes Itself by Dr Norman Doidge
- Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself by Dr Joe Dispenza
- Becoming Supernatural by Dr Joe Dispenza
- The Last Best Cure by Donna Jackson
Because my energy bodies have been totally depleted over the last several months, I’ve been in the interesting position of noticing which actions, behaviours and therapies nourish the energy body and which ones deplete.
I’ve seen it and felt it in my energy body. Over the course of a day, you will probably not notice if your energy/light body is being depleted – it’s only when your light body becomes depleted over time that disease begins to manifest.
What Nourishes the Light Body:
- Being outside and in nature
- Acts of kindness, both given and received
- Cuddling with a pet or a loved one; or connecting with someone you love
- True friendship
- Mindfulness meditation i.e. sitting and focusing on your breath for a period of time
- Mindfulness in every day life i.e. noticing your negative thoughts and habits, and challenging them
- Inspirational workshops, talks, books and information
- My Chakra Meditation
- Exercise
- Reiki
- Sunshine
- Remembering who you are on the soul level, and where you came from
- Communicating with Spirit or connecting with the Divine; prayer
- Laughter (including laughter yoga if you can get into it)
- Positive affirmations (but these are worthless if you are countering them with negative thoughts)
- Dr Joe Dispenza’s guided meditations, some of which can be found on YouTube
- Paying someone a genuine compliment
- DNRS
- Comedy (as long as it is not sarcastic or cynical)
- Acupuncture
- Craniosacral therapy
- Earthing
- Yoga
- Reflexology
- Homeopathy (I would not have believed this last year, but I’m now a convert)
- Activities that you enjoy (my passion is dancing the Argentine tango, which I’m happy to be able to continue with)
- Sex with someone who loves and cares for you
What Depletes the Light Body
- Watching or reading the news
- The majority of social media pages and almost all online forums
- Some pharmaceutical medications (namely the ones that affect mitochondrial function, including many common painkillers such as Tylenol and aspirin)
- Social isolation
- Sedentary lifestyle/lack of movement
- Arguments, conflicts, and being around hostility
- Any kind of abuse or mistreatment
- Road rage; getting angry and behaving badly while on the road
- Healing modalities and therapies that involve re-hashing or reliving the past (e.g. EMDR, past life regression or talk therapy) – these therapies have long term value but they use up energy in the short term (and this energy comes from you), so you must be energetically resourced in order to benefit from them. When a person is in a state of energetic depletion, which is common among many chronically ill people, they can be more draining in the short term, than useful
- Shocks and trauma
- The process of grieving a loss
- Poverty
- Consistently poor sleep
- Reading about the ugliness in the world, such as true crime
- Shocking, tragic, or violent books, TV shows and movies
- Being in one-sided relationships; spending time around users, takers and energy vampires
- Talking about your health, if it is poor
- Alcohol, and most other recreational drugs
From an energetic perspective, I’ve noticed that remaining in good health is about making sure you balance activities and behaviours that nourish the light body and activities that deplete. And if you are in poor health, you will need to cut out as much as possible of that which depletes and focus on what nourishes. This is what I have observed on my own path back to health, as I observe how my energy responds to various activities and habits.
Anna x
PS. Soon I will be closing my Facebook and Instagram accounts since it became very clear to me late last year that Mark Zuckerberg’s values are not in alignment with mine.
If you follow me on Facebook or Instagram, and if you wish to stay in touch, please subscribe to my YouTube channel or sign up for my email newsletter instead.
PPS. I wrote a follow up to this blog post, following some feedback that I had from a reader: Please Don’t Put me on a Pedestal
Thank you for sharing such pertinent information, Anna. I will be sharing it with a couple of friends who are also struggling with similar health issues. I am sorry you have been through so much, but happy to hear you are turning it around. Just today I thought that I had not heard from you in a long time. Welcome back! 🙂
Personally I think that reiki also will help you. Get well soon.
Thank you, Ileana! I hope you are well x
Thank you, Mithun! Reiki is nourishing, too. I will add it to my list.
Hi Anna, I did your intuitive awakening course a long time ago. I can share that I have had lupus, and many food intolerances like gluten and lactose for example and they have all gone one by one and so I believe that you can do it, just like I have managed to. My guide helped me in that regard and if I can help you feel free to reach out. I am a psychic health medium and I help people specifically by identifying any food group intolerances that they might have…by identifying what they are from a photograph (would you believe). Sometimes we become ill if we have an unidentified food intolerance/allergy. I dont charge because I dont need to and I enjoy being able to help people. I have helped a lot of children by identifying the root cause of terrible rashes. I am in the process of writing a book about my spiritual rise through my Kundalini activation. Your course helped me realize who I was.
Hi Kay, Yes, I remember you as a student. Thanks for sharing your experience! It’s great to hear all that you’ve learned and become over the last several years.
Hello Anna, I hope it’s been a good day so far. My heart aches reading the post, I am so sorry to hear that you’ve been going through these difficult challenges. Thank you for sharing your story, it inspired a lot of reflections, and is indeed a great reminder to be mindful of our daily activities and habits. Thank you for all the tips, sending you love and blessings x
Hi Norelle, thank you!
Don’t feel bad for me please – I am grateful for this opportunity to create change in my life.
Hi Anna, This is very disheartening. I thought you were the most energetically clear person I have come to know because you possess all the healing modalities for yourself and others. On top of that, you know what you are and what you have been at soul level. Throughout my life, I have also struggled with very negative thoughts, which cripple me from taking any action and growing in my life. I used to think it was my intuition which was warning me of risks and dangers ahead. But lately I realised it’s not intuition, it’s just my devil mind which is filled with only negative thoughts draining me physically, emotionally, and mentally. Further, I was much surprised about your views against past life regression because after reading your published articles last year in 2 parts on the same, I was seriously thinking of getting PLR therapy for myself. Now after reading your account, I am discouraged to know that healers/knowers/Realized ones suffer more than or similar to ordinary persons who only have 3D survival instincts without bothering least about their soul origins, chakra balancing, PLR, cord cutting, 3rd eye opening, kundalini activation, accessing akashic records, crystal healing etc. etc. In my opinion (which has become strong now after seeing many lightworkers whose blog I follow), by practicing all these modalities, healers become imbalanced in their physical and non-physical bodies and lose grounding like you said – you found your energy body totally empty. Although your account is honest but somewhat pointing towards the hopelessness and emptiness of these healing methods, rather they are risky and harmful after prolonged usage/practices. Wishing you speedy recovery and normalcy. Best regards
You’re an inspiration Anna. Sending love and healing your way. X
Always an inspiration, Anna! I have missed your insight but understand, your health, well-being are #1! I had a long battle with Lyme, autoimmune disease, and chronic Epstein Barr. I relate so much to all that you say, my illness became my story and it defined me…the healing journey has been long but the thoughts and consumption by the illness have truly held it in my body. Bringing light to this will support and inspire many!! I’ve been part of most of your programs. Thank you 🙏🏻
Honey – I feel the weight of your expectations and disappointment in what you wrote. I ask that you please knock me off any pedestal you may have put me on, because I have struggles, just like everyone else. I have been clear about this in my past writings.
Having a clear energetic field is not the same as having an empty energy field. My energy field may be somewhat clear but it hasn’t been full of vital life force in the last few years.
You also couldn’t be more wrong in your assessment that all the healing modalities that I’ve done, have been a waste. I’ll give you the wider perspective on that.
I had a dysfunctional childhood and adolescence, with abuse, neglect and trauma. I have an ACE score of 7, which is fairly high.
(The ACE score is a measurement of adversity that is encountered during childhood. You can find out more about it here: https://developingchild.harvard.edu/media-coverage/take-the-ace-quiz-and-learn-what-it-does-and-doesnt-mean/)
Here’s an excerpt from an article about ACE’s: “Experiencing 4 or more ACEs is associated with significantly increased risk for 7 out of 10 leading adult causes of death, including heart disease, autoimmune disease, stroke, cancer, COPD, diabetes, Alzheimers and suicide.”
“Risk for the 80 or more types of autoimmune diseases increases as ACE scores rise. For every increase in the ACE score of 1 point, risk for developing an autoimmune disease such as type 1 diabetes, lupus, rheumatoid arthritis and many others goes up by 20%.”
Researchers have found that having experienced a lot of childhood adversity causes many problems later in life, including health problems, unemployment, homelessness, substance abuse, violence, and a shortened lifespan.
With an ACE score of 7, my risk of developing lupus is 140% higher than someone with no ACEs and my lifespan is at high risk of being shortened by 20 years.
I was one of 5 children. My older brother became a heroine addict and died early (he was diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder when he was in prison, and he was very abusive towards me growing up.)
My other brothers have also struggled with serious substance abuse issues. One of my parents has issues with substance abuse and was emotionally absent, the other was narcissistic.
People who grow up in a childhood situation like mine do not tend to do well in life. Later in life they are often unemployed, in an abusive relationship, ill, and/or struggling with substance abuse.
I’ve defied the odds and broken the cycle of dysfunction and abuse I grew up with.
I do not struggle with substance abuse. I do not get into abusive relationships (although I used to when I was younger). I am not unemployed. I completed my education. I’m surrounded by emotionally healthy people and have some pretty great relationships. I managed to answer the calling that Spirit gave me… I found the courage within me to choose quite an unconventional career and be successful & visible in the (sometimes cruel) online space, which is no small feat, especially for someone with zero family support.
Do you think I managed to do this without therapy, EMDR, past life regression, cord cutting? No, those things helped me over a period of years.
I do have a tendency to live in the emotions of stress, and this is likely due to how my brain developed as a child and the environment I lived in.
I also experienced significant stress as an adult that impacted my health – problems with siblings, my brother dying of substance abuse, a parent struggling with substance abuse, and a deadly earthquake, amongst other things.
For the 9 month period before I became ill, there was a situation in my family with one of my siblings who was in an abusive relationship and around the same time, narrowly avoided prison due to drug related crimes. I was his main emotional and financial support (this support enabled him to complete rehab, which is what allowed him to avoid prison) and it took a terrible toll on me. I was tearing my hair out for months on end (because addicts don’t fully take responsibility and tend to ask those around them to rescue/enable them, and navigating this was very stressful) and this is a big part of what triggered the illness and thoroughly emptied my energy body of vital life force.
It’s been hard for me to completely escape my past but I made the sad decision to end all family relationships for now so that I can stop living in the emotions of stress, while I heal.
But I’m proud that I’ve broken the cycle of trauma, abuse, narcissism and substance abuse, that goes back many generations and I’m proud of all the healing I’ve done.
I hope you are seeing the wider perspective.
Clearly we don’t all start off in life from the same place, and I have spent the last 20 years re-parenting and healing myself, and it’s done me a lot of good and improved my life. But I still have some healing to do.
Just a little note also that I did not say therapy, EMDR, past life regression are worthless. I said they have value as long as you are not chronically ill. But if you are chronically ill, use with caution and perhaps wait until you are better to benefit from them. I will be doing more past life regression when lupus has permanently disappeared from my body, which it absolutely will.
Lupus is a gift from Spirit, who is effectively saying, “you have done a lot of healing, but you’ve become stuck recently in your negative beliefs, emotions and thoughts. Here’s a reason & motivation to do a different kind of healing.”
The various modalities I’ve used have mitigated the effects of the stress on my body and soul, but ultimately, when you get to the kind of place I’ve arrived at (health wise), the best way to stop living in the emotions of stress is to do a long-term program of brain retraining, such as DNRS.
P.S. Here’s a page where you can take the ACE quiz in case anyone reading is interested in doing that:
https://byronclinic.com/finding-your-ace-score/
Dear Anna, thank you for sharing your personal details. That’s very brave of you. I am sorry. I don’t intend to sound like disregarding or disrespecting your healing modalities.I have had similar situations in my childhood like a very dysfunctional, abusive, emotionally devoid family and not-so-great youth either. For the last many years I have been reading your blog and finding solace in it but got disturbed reading what you have been going through. I fully sympathize with you. My sincere and best wishes to you. Thanks for sharing the ACE quiz link.
Thank you, Honey. I’m sorry to hear you have a similar background.
I’m glad you posted your observations because it gave me an opportunity to provide the backstory which I think could be helpful to others who are going through or have been through something similar. I hope you don’t mind I used your comment to write an article.
Thank you so much for sharing your learning and progress Anna. I always find your blog very helpful and timely. Without saying too much, I am also trying to connect with my own life energy and trying to change negative thought patterns, I have finally had a chance to spend time in nature the last few days and have found this really helped. Wishing you well in your journey.
Hi Anna, my heart goes to you and I am sending loads of healing vibes and hugs your way. Please count on us and reach out any time. You are such an inspiration! Love and light to you!
Thank you for this in-depth post, especially the resources you’re using to heal your body. I was diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer last July and have implemented some of the things on your list. I had heard of Bruce Lipton before. As the universe has a way of doing, I just listened to a podcast yesterday where he was a guest, and now you mention him, so I’m getting his book today. Hope your recovery is quick!
In support of you, I have read the two Dispenza books, and the Lipton book and do highly recommend them. I too have an autoimmune disease and have used many of the modalities you mentioned, including the homeopathy, which I too was reluctant to believe and yet had positive effects from it.
In regard to LRT, I agree with you. I believe connecting with my “survivor’s guilt.” hindered my healing, instead of helping. I was unaware that I had survivor’s guilt, until I went to a hypnotherapist, who specifically dealt with healing illnesses.
I am an Ancestral Constellation facilitator, and have found it magical in helping others heal emotionally, physically and mentally. Just mentioning it as another modality to research. Bert Hellinger is the therapist who developed this theory.
Holding You in Healing Light and Joy,
Hi Anna, I was happy when I saw that you sent a newsletter this morning. Thanks for sharing where you are. It’s quite a journey. I wish you lots of Light and Love and a speedy recovery!
Hi Anna,
Through my practice I have also found that “noticing how you feel” and responding (changing) discomfort is really the most important thing as you have described beautifully in your description of nourishing the Light Body.
I have been successful following the practices you describe turning around my own personal energy and a business too! All of this is REAL and I’m confident you will continue to experience success!
Hey – we’re all human. It’s all an opportunity to continue clarifying and learning. It’s not a “big deal” yet does require focus as you well know. Rock On! Here you go! : )
Peace, Love & Light!
Rich Hamm
Thank you, everyone for your kind comments – they are much appreciated! Anna x
I’m very sorry to hear this Anna. I don’t know you, but I always enjoy your posts. I hear where you are coming from about having an autoimmune diagnosis and very much wanting to get rid of it. I’ve been through a somewhat similar thing. I think I have had type 1 diabetes (early onset, adult form) and recovered from it. It runs in my family. It’s believed to be incurable, so my doctor doesn’t believe I ever had it, given that she doesn’t understand what she is seeing (in my opinion) – i.e. if something is ‘incurable’ and you cured it, they think you must have never had it, because they don’t realize it’s possible.
Anyway, my top things that helped are: (if this is unhelpful, please ignore)
-as you seem to have done, setting the intention that I DO NOT accept this condition in my body. I am healthy.
-fasting. This seems to work for a lot of autoimmune things. Valter Longo’s research shows prolonged fasting can basically auto-digest autoimmune cells and ‘reboot’ the immune system
-I take vitamin D which is also involved with the immune sustem. Recently added magnesium as D can deplete Mg
-going to bed and waking up earlier and getting early AM sunlight to help the circadian rhythm. I dim the lights at night and use a blue light filter on my computer so it doesn’t keep me up. Dr. Satchin Panda’s research helped me ++ here
-vitamins and herbs that are specific to the issue I was trying to fix. I have found traditional chinese medicine to be very supportive.
Best of luck to you. I realize you are getting a lot of comments so hope this is not ‘over the top.’ I just wanted to write with a personal example of recovery as I was quite ill, and I am, not 100% but symptom free and not on any conventional medication. It wasn’t easy, and it took time and research, but I’ve managed to turn things around (in the face of ++ odds). Here’s hope and belief in the same for you. 💐
All the best 🙂 🙂 🤗
Erin
Hi Anna,
I’m so sorry for your struggles, but know you will make it through and become the best you ever.
Thank you, Kathy! x