How to Get to the Heart of What May Be Holding You Back in Creating the Life You Desire

In working with my Law of Assumption coaching clients, I’ve noticed something that came up again and again that I wanted to share in this article, around working with the subconscious mind.

In my sessions, clients have had 2 common questions:

1. “I know my subconscious ‘stories’ and assumptions are what manifest in the 3D — but they are subconscious, which is not something that I’m consciously aware of. How do I know what is holding me back, if it’s subconscious?”

2. “How do I know which affirmations to use to manifest what I want? I have a list of affirmations and I don’t know which ones to pick or how long to say them for.”

These two questions may look like two different questions, but they are essentially getting at the same thing, which is about how to identify and change your unfavourable subconscious stories about an area of your life, so that you can create change in the 3D.

In order to consciously manifest a new outcome effectively, you have to be aware of your current subconscious unfavourable stories around it, so that you can affirm something different.

Here are some quotes from Neville Goddard and Joseph Murphy (who were New Thought authors and teachers, both taught by the Ethiopian rabbi and Law of Assumption teacher known as Abdullah)

“Chance or accident is not responsible for the things that happen to you, nor is predestined fate the author of your fortune or misfortune. Your subconscious impressions determine the conditions of your world.” – Neville Goddard, ‘Resurrection’

“As you sow in your subconscious mind, so shall you reap in your body and environment.” – Joseph Murphy, in The Power of Your Subconscious Mind

“Nothing comes from without; all things come from within – from the subconscious” – Neville Goddard, in his book ‘Resurrection’

To put it in a more technical way, we receive vital life force energy from the Creator/God and that we condition it with the contents of our subconscious mind (also reflected in our chakra systems). So that energy from the Creator is conditioned with emotions, stories, assumptions, beliefs, thoughts, and our self-concept. Then it goes back out into the quantum field and with a time lapse, that energy is reflected back to us in the 3D – in our body, our environment and our relationships.

So, when we find ourselves in a particular physical condition, environment, situation or relationship, it is purely a reflection of the contents of the subconscious mind.

Therefore, becoming conscious of unfavourable subconscious stories and changing them is key to consciously manifesting a desired outcome.

And in this article I’m going to teach you how you can become aware of your unfavourable subconscious stories and change them.

I’m also going to share a technique or process you can use to ask your higher self (or soul) what the antidote to your unfavourable stories is, so that you can create something different (this is a process I go through with my coaching clients.)

I’m going to give you this process, and you may well be able to go through it on your own.

OK, so how do you find out what your subconscious stories are?

This is easy. Just look at your past history and life so far.

Take your desired outcome, and look at the life area it is in.

Maybe it’s health, love, money, work, or whatever.

Go over your life history so far in that particular area, and see if you can spot the story that repeats. There is often a common thread.

So, for example, let’s say that a woman called Janine would like to manifest more money. She grew up poor not because her family didn’t have money but because a parent was mean and wouldn’t spend money on the things she needed. Maybe Janine often had shoes and clothes that were too small because her parents were too frugal.

Then later Janine never has enough money in her adult life. She sometimes goes without food to pay the utilities bill and make ends meet. Her parents have money but won’t help her out or pay for an education.

Janine gets into a new relationship with someone who seemed like a wonderful partner and this new partner asked to take a loan out for them to start a new business to the tune of $40,000 in just Janine’s name. She agreed. They paid some of it back but 18 months later, with $20,000 still left to pay on this loan, they disappeared and Janine found out she had no legal recourse and had to pay the rest of the loan, which she could hardly afford.

What is the energy behind this money story so far?

  • Betrayal
  • Lack
  • Being screwed over
  • Not being provided for
  • Being used/exploited
  • Struggle

These are the contents of Janine’s subconscious mind when it comes to money.

You know what is in your subconscious mind because your life bears witness to it. Your life will always tell the story loudly and honestly of what your subconscious is whispering, if you are willing to look at it with brutal honesty.

The unfavourable story doesn’t actually mean anything about you. The subconscious mind will in fact believe anything we tell it, no matter how false (just look at stage hypnosis videos to see how accurate this is). Therefore, if you have an unfavourable story, it just means that you were told something or concluded something unfavourable based on something that happened to you in the past, and you took it to heart (which happens especially when we are very young or we experience a trauma.)

Let’s take a look at another situation as an example:

Sandra grew up with a very critical and mean mother who was often unfavourably comparing her to her younger sister, who seemed to be more accomplished and prettier than she was. Sandra grew up not often feeling good enough, unwelcome and unwanted.

In adulthood, she’s had 2 significant past relationships. In 1 of them, she was cheated on, and in another she was left for a woman she felt was somehow “better” than her.

These two relationships and her childhood history are reflecting a story of her not being good enough to be in a happy relationship with a partner who adores her.

Here are the energies behind that story:

  • Lack of self-worth
  • Not good enoughness
  • Being defective
  • Being second best

So, investigating your past like this is one part of how you get to the heart of what is holding you back.

Another way to spot your subconscious thinking is to go on how you feel. If you often do not feel good and have bad moods that seem to come from nowhere, ask yourself why – what is the story behind that? Bad moods don’t come from nowhere. If they’re not connected to a current life event, they are the result of what you are subconsciously thinking.

For example, it took me about a year in 2021-2022 to come to terms with the fact that even after extensive inner work, I was still running a strong subconscious story of victimhood and powerlessness. I was going over past injustices and ways people had treated me badly in the past subconsciously because they were popping into my mind and I would feel disempowered and incapable somehow. The motto of these stories seemed to be “I can’t”.

So, if old memories pop into your mind from the past or you have repetitive dreams about past events, pay attention. These are often connected to subconscious stories you’re running in the here and now.

Your unfavourable subconscious story may not even be something that occurred as a result of your previous relationships or childhood — it could just be a result of the same thoughtless comment made by a couple of people on separate occasions or even ideas you’ve absorbed from the media.

For example, the media loves to push the idea that women are ‘past it’ when they get to their late thirties and forties. This can hold some women back when they are in their 30s or 40s or older, from consciously manifesting a new relationship, having a baby or even getting started on a new career path.

OK, back to the process of changing your subconscious stories…

Once you know what your unfavourable subconscious story is, identify the opposite of the negative energy you pinpointed.

For Sandra who was compared unfavourably to her sister, it would be:

  • Self-worth
  • Being first best
  • Being good enough
  • Being whole and complete, just as she is

For Janine, who has the bad financial situation, the opposite of those energies would be:

  • Abundance
  • Relaxation
  • Enoughness
  • Freedom
  • Trust (in others and herself)
  • Being provided for
  • Being taken care of
  • Being empowered

Then what you want to do is create affirmations that affirm the opposite of your unfavourable subconscious story. If you do this correctly and you hit the nail on the head with your affirmations, you can completely change your life and manifest what you want.

To get to the heart of her subconscious stories, Janine would want to affirm things like:

My world always takes such wonderful care of me (this is an affirmation from Vadim Zeland’s book Reality Transurfing, and it is an antidote to being deprived, used and exploited)

I can trust the people I love with my heart (an antidote to betrayal)

I am inherently abundant (an antidote to lack)

I am the place money and opportunities come from

I love that I always have more money than I need

I feel relaxed and secure in my life

I create everything that appears in my world, through what I focus on, affirm and think about

I am worthy of the best

I was always meant to be financially comfortable

These are the antidotes to Janine’s unfavourable story.

Sandra, with the critical mother (and partners who left her and cheated on her), would want to affirm things like:

I am always prioritised by my partner

I put myself first

I am (more than) good enough

I love everything about myself

I can trust the people I love with my heart

I am first best

I am always chosen

I choose myself

I love myself

I am loved

I am love

I am wanted

I am worthy of the best

I know that I am so deserving of love

I know that I deserve an amazing relationship

I am whole and complete

These affirmations get to the heart of her not enoughness, and this is why I love affirmations when used regularly — they are, in a short sentence, the refreshing antidote to our unfavourable subconscious stories.

How to know which affirmations to use, how often and for how long?

This is another question conscious manifestors often have.

Once you know you have your affirmation that gets to the heart of your unfavourable story and contradicts it, you should repeat it often for weeks or months until it becomes your new story on the inside.

I also have a process that I use sometimes and which I’ve passed on to a couple of my clients.

My process for choosing affirmations

When I know what my dominant negative subconscious story is (let’s say in this example it’s powerlessness), I create affirmations which affirm the opposite.

I collect many variants on those affirmations, I create my own and maybe I also do some Google research (e.g. “affirmations for being a powerful creator”), I write the affirmations that resonate out by hand and usually I’ve got a few pages at least of affirmations.

So, for victimhood or powerlessness, I’d affirm things like:

I am a powerful creator

My imagination is God

As God, I shift realities easily and effortlessly

I create my world, based on what I focus on and affirm for

My affirmations create my world

I am powerful

I love feeling so powerful

My whole world is a projection of my consciousness

Then I use pendulum dowsing and I ask my higher self, which affirmations do I need to focus on today?

(If you’d like to use this process, use these instructions to program your pendulum.)

Next, say:

“My higher self, please be with me”

Next, inhale to the count of 4, hold your breath to the count of 4 and exhale to the count of 8. Repeat 3 times altogether.

Then say to your higher self: “please give me the affirmations that I need to say today.”

Next, ask your higher self: “how many affirmations do I focus on today?” Ask: “Is it more than 1/2/3/4 etc.” until you have the right number (I’d restrict it to 5 or 6 because it’s hard to memorise more than a few at a time.)

Then ask, for the first affirmation, is it on page 1/2/3/4 of my affirmations?

When I have the right page, I ask, is it the first affirmation, the second one, the third, etc. I go down all the affirmations until I’ve found the right one.

Then I take my affirmations for the day, I memorise them and I affirm robotically any chance I get (although note that I do this mindfully – I take care not to let my mind wander onto other topics while affirming.)

What I love about this process:

This may seem like a super anal way to approach manifestation, but it’s extremely powerful. Here’s why:

1. We often don’t know which affirmations we really need that are really the antidote to our subconscious stories.

2. Even if we manage to find the right affirmation, we often don’t know how long to do it for and we often don’t persist in it long enough.

3. People have a tendency to stay away from the very affirmations they need. Often affirmations that contradict our dominant subconscious story trigger us and bring up negative emotion, or feel wrong, and like we’re lying and need to stop saying them.

I’ve had times where I ask my higher self which affirmations do I use today and I’m given the same three for the whole week, and I’m thinking: Really? I’m bored of these three now.

But then I experienced a shift in my self-concept because I persisted in using those affirmations. So, being prompted by our higher self to focus on a particular affirmation that we might otherwise unconsciously avoid can be very helpful.

This process of uncovering your subconscious stories and changing them is incredibly important work…

I believe going through this process is deep and sacred work that holds the key to not only transforming your life but also evolving your soul.

Most of us who have an unfavourable story will find it isn’t just restricted to this lifetime.

If you have for example been betrayed in this lifetime, you’ll find it has its roots in and is echoed by a past life. I believe we choose our family in this lifetime based on our karmic past and stories from past lives. Our family in this lifetime will insert certain subconscious beliefs into the mind based on what they teach us or what happens in childhood. We carry those stories with us all our lives, unless we change them. So, the person who is betrayed in a past life often learns in childhood this time around that other people can’t be trusted, and then experiences that self-fulfilling prophecy in the rest of their adult life.

If you want to break out of your soul’s karmic past and alter the trajectory of your soul’s future, this is how you do it. You locate your unfavourable story, you change it, and you live in that changed story until it manifests in the 3D.

Changing your unfavourable stories doesn’t need to be hard, onerous, or complicated.

It doesn’t have to involve healing (although it sometimes can and does.)

It mostly involves affirming a new story and sticking to it as our new story, over a longer period of time. In doing this, at some point we will become that person for whom the story is true.

You should also 100% use “revision” on any past events that may have caused unfavourable subconscious stories. So, if you have had any experiences in your life that you wish had turned out differently, you should revise them. Neville Goddard said of this revision technique that it was the most important part of his teachings, although he didn’t give many instructions for revising events from your long term past. I have revised 80+ events myself from my long-term past and I can already see from the results why Neville Goddard believed revision to be the most powerful manifesting technique of all. As soon as I am finished with my own process of revising my long term past, I’ll write an article with instructions on how to do it.


I wanted to share something that I believe about manifestation, in case it is interesting to my readers:

A friend said to me a while back “The thing I dislike about the Law of Attraction/manifesting space is that it’s selfish and individualistic, so focused on me, me, me and what I can get through manifesting.”

I disagree.

I actually believe that when we desire something in the 3D and set about consciously manifesting it, what the soul is really after is the change in state that the 3D will bring about. The soul is, through the medium of desire, asking you to change and embody a higher state.

You can’t have the thing you want in the 3D until you give it to yourself in the 4D. For example, to manifest a loving relationship in the 3D you have to become loving and loveable on the inside.

By desiring a loving relationship, your soul is asking to embody a state of love.

When you achieve the loving relationship and sustain it in your life, you ascend in awareness to a more beautiful and loving state of being.

If we are all pieces of consciousness (and part of one larger consciousness), I believe that every time one of us manifests something positive that we desire, and ascends to a more beautiful state of being to achieve it, it impacts the whole wider consciousness — God. We are all pieces of God, on a journey back to God. Manifesting desires in your life is about ascending in your energy and in doing so, I believe it raises the vibration of the whole consciousness and Planet Earth itself.

Your desires are a clarion call from your soul. Embrace them, and become the person who has them. That way, in embracing a new state of being, you find your way back to God, and the whole consciousness benefits.

Meet Anna

Hi, I’m Anna Sayce! My purpose here on this website is to provide practical techniques and information to help empaths to understand, and fix the root of their energetic overwhelm & also to help sensitives to embrace and develop their intuitive gifts. I believe that developing our spiritual & intuitive side is very powerful and allows us to improve our own lives, and if we wish, even make the world a better place for others. Discover more >


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