Do you just want to manifest your SP, or do you want to manifest them and keep them, too?

Most information on the internet teaches you how to manifest an SP but doesn’t teach you to keep them. (Many successful SP manifestors lose their SP later on!)

This article will teach you how to manifest an SP AND maintain the relationship, so you set yourself up for success from the get-go.

This guide is so comprehensive (over 5000 words long) that it should be sold as a class, but I’m busy with other projects in my business and I haven’t got time to create a class right now, so lucky you, you get the info for free. (Maybe one day I’ll go into more detail on all the points and turn it into a class.)

My experience with manifesting SP’s

I like to experiment with Law of Assumption concepts that I’ve come across, and when I read that Neville Goddard manifested his wife as an SP, I decided to put his teachings to the test and manifest an SP for myself.

I wanted to do this not just for my own benefit but also so I could (1) test the limits of the Law of Assumption and EIYPO, (2) form an opinion on the topic, and (3) gain some experience that might help future readers and clients.

Long short story, I learned through my own experience that yes, you can manifest an SP, and yes, everyone is a reflection of your self-concept. Everyone can only reflect back to you your assumptions about yourself, the world and love. And that when you change yourself, the people around you change, too.

So, this post is the product of experience in my own manifesting process, and also a product of much research.

Many people learn about the Law of Assumption when they want to get an ex back or feel a strong need to have another person in their life.

This strong need to have the SP back can really trip people up when it comes to manifesting, and creates too much attachment. (This is in fact the main reason why most people do not manifest their SP.) In this post, I’ll talk about how you can get around this pothole in the road to manifesting your SP.

The other thing that complicates SP manifesting is that not everyone is alike, and I have found that different people need different manifesting strategies, based on their attachment style, relationship history and childhood.

The 3 categories of SP manifestor

Based on my work with coaching clients, my own experiences and listening to the experiences of content creators who successfully manifested and kept an SP, I believe that people fall into 3 categories with SP manifesting and need different strategies based on which one they fall into.

Category 1 people have a secure attachment style, don’t have childhood trauma, and have a good relationship with caregivers and family. They have a low ACE score (less than 1 or 2.) They can focus more on manifesting SP and don’t need such extensive self-concept work. They often manifest their SP quickly.

Category 2 people are people who have an anxious, avoidant or disorganised attachment style. They have had childhood trauma – sometimes extensive trauma, neglect and abuse. They usually have an ACE score of at least 4. Sometimes they haven’t had extensive trauma but just an event that caused an attachment wound with a caregiver.

Category 3 people are somewhere in the middle between those 2 extremes. Maybe they had significant childhood trauma or maybe their parents had a bad relationship between themselves and they never saw healthy love being modelled for them, but they also had a good relationship with one or both parents and ended up with a mostly secure attachment style.

You can read about attachment wounds here.

If you don’t know your attachment style, go do a quiz and then come back to this post so you know which category you fit into.

These 3 categories need different approaches when it comes to manifesting an SP.

The majority of people who manifest an SP fall into category 2 so that’s the category I’m going to focus on for this article. I also discuss category 1 and category 3 people at the end of this article, so you can scroll to the end if you fall into that category.

Why self concept is the key to manifesting SP

Category 2 people need extensive self concept work to manifest an SP, and they need to take the focus off SP temporarily.

The reason why you don’t have your SP (as a category 2 person) is because your self concept isn’t at all that of someone who is happily partnered.

You may be a loving, lovely person in your relationships, but you are not consistently embodying love, worthiness or self-love in your state (your state consists of your thoughts, emotions, moods, beliefs, assumptions, and above all, your self-concept.)

If you’re going to manifest an SP using the Law of Assumption, you need to go back to basics and look at what Neville’s ideas really were.

He said:

“Change your conception of yourself and you will automatically change the world in which you live. Do not try to change people; they are only messengers telling you who you are. Revalue yourself and they will confirm the change.”

Therefore, manifesting an SP is about self-concept. It’s about changing you and revaluing you. It’s not about changing your SP or your 3D world.

Read that sentence again, because it’s really important.

To manifest an SP as a category 2 person, you need to take the focus off SP and put it back on you.

If you don’t get this concept and apply it, you will probably fail to manifest your SP and you will most definitely fail to keep your SP.

What many people who are manifesting an SP do is they are affirming and visualising for SP exclusively. They are after a quick fix. They want their SP back but expect everything else about their life to stay the same. That’s not how it works for category 2 people. If you’re a category 2 person, you have to go on a journey of change.

You also have to accept that this journey isn’t really about SP. The way they are currently showing up in your life (or not) is just a side effect of who you are being.

(If you don’t agree with this, go back and read Neville’s Complete Reader. In his work, he has many examples and stories which illustrate this concept beautifully.)

This journey is about you.

When you desire something in the 3D, it’s because your soul is asking you to embody the state of being, that you think the desire will induce in you.

If you desire a loving relationship with an SP, your soul is essentially asking you to embody the state of love, worthiness, self-love and become that. If you succeed in reaching that state and maintaining it, you will manifest your SP as a side effect of that state.

If you strive after getting SP in a needy way and focus on them, the state that successfully manifests your SP and maintains a healthy relationship with them, will continue to elude you.

Here are my steps to embodying the state you need to embody, in order to manifest SP:

1. Find out your attachment style, and create affirmations based on that

If you’re anxiously attached, list out the features of that attachment style that you agree with, in terms of how you’re behaving and feeling in relationships, then flip them around to create an affirmation that targets your particular wounds.

For example, if you’re anxiously attached and the info on anxious attachment style that you read says you feel undeserving of love and often seek out avoidantly attached people, say the affirmations:

I deserve a warm and responsive partner

I deserve to receive so much in love.

If you’re avoidantly attached, say the affirmation:

I am comfortable being close to others.

If you find out your attachment style and do detailed research into the features of your attachment style, you can create a whole set of affirmations that target your attachment wounds.

Then you need to say them everyday (sometimes for weeks or months) until they become part of your new story.

2. Next, look into your childhood history and your relationship history to find out what your subconscious unfavourable assumptions are about love and relationships

Not only do you need to target your attachment style in your affirmations, but you also need to target your childhood and relationship history.

This article goes into depth on how to do that.

This is something I do in my coaching sessions with people, but I’ve got a long wait list and no longer accepting applications. However, you don’t need a coach to do this. You just need to get really honest with yourself and look at where your life has gone wrong, with no shame, and no blame.

For example, if you had an abusive parent and a subconscious belief that if you get into a relationship, you will be abused, then you need to create affirmations that say the opposite of that.

For example, you will need to affirm:

I am always safe in relationships

My heart is cherished and protected in my relationship.

Check out the article to complete that step.

3. Make it easy to ignore the 3D

I personally feel that it’s even harder to manifest an SP when they’re in your face and not giving you what you want…because you’re going to keep reacting to the 3D, which delays your manifestation.

Let’s say that you’re in a ‘friends with benefits’ relationship with someone and it’s painful because you want a real, committed relationship with them but they don’t. When you meet up, you feel triggered afterwards and wonder “why don’t they want me?”

I believe in those situations it’s best to set a boundary and say no to what you don’t want, and explain what you want. Then go no contact temporarily and do your self-concept work.

This won’t screw your manifestation up, in fact it will do the opposite.

If you can’t state what you want or set a boundary with your SP, repeat these affirmations:

I deserve to receive so much in love

I deserve to have my needs met

It is safe to state my needs and set a boundary

And if you’re in no contact with SP, that is a blessing and the best place to manifest your SP from.

Don’t look at their social media and ideally remove any access you have to them in terms of what is going on in their life, so that you’re not reacting to it. I’m not saying block them, but just remove yourself from what is going on in their life if you can.

More on ignoring the 3D here.

4. Focus only on self-concept and making your energy field beautiful initially

Your self-concept is a collection of concepts and beliefs you have about yourself.

(And your energy field is the energetic reflection of your self-concept and a reflection of how much the universal energies of love, abundance, power, safety and peace are freely running through your energy field and making you attractive to others.)

Remember that Neville Goddard teaches that if you want a different outcome in your life, you have to change you and your self-concept.

Here’s how you work on self-concept:

• Find out who the version of you is that is in a happy relationship with SP, and rehearse being that — create affirmations based on who you would be being if you were with SP — but don’t make it about SP initially, only make it about you

• Affirm for your self-concept in love, especially targeted affirmations that contradict your attachment wounds and past experiences

• Remember who you really are. Improving your self concept isn’t about becoming someone new, it’s about going back to your God state – the soul you were when you came into this life and before you had any negative experiences which taught you limiting beliefs about yourself. Who is that soul? A powerful, loving, worthy, secure being. Using affirmations will help you get back to that state, but it also helps to remember: this is who you have always been. This is who you are! If you persist in this process, you will eventually revert back to your God state and live from that, not just when it comes to your SP, but as a way of life.

• Do guided self-love meditations. People say you don’t need self-love to manifest an SP, and they’re right. But you do need self-love to keep an SP.

You can find guided self-love meditations on YouTube. Agnes Vivarelli is a good resource for that. Joe Dispenza has a love meditation that helps you to embody the state of love.

• Start meditating in general and make it a daily practice — any kind of regular meditation will make your state and energy field more beautiful. I have a lovely chakra meditation here that will make your energy field more attractive if you do it regularly

• Revise, revise, revise. I should have put this step at the top of this article because it is the most important thing for you to do to manifest your SP. Neville Goddard, in his lecture The Pruning Shears of Revision said that if you only take one thing from his work, it should be revision. You need to make a list of any negative experiences you have had in your life which could have caused you to have a poor self-concept. Take the ACEs test and if you answered yes to any of those questions, revise whatever you said yes to from your childhood. (If you had a high ACE score but you thought your childhood was OK, you need to go into therapy.) You could also revise any past relationships that didn’t end well and any event which has given you a limiting belief about who you are. You could revise any interactions with your SP that didn’t go as you wanted. I wrote an article on revision and how to do it, and you can find that here.

• Do inner child work, or parts work with an internal family systems therapist. If you have a wounded inner child (which you may do if you fall into category 2) and you aren’t paying attention to your inner child and you’re not showing up for them, that negatively affects your self-love and self-concept. This is also big for category 2 manifestors. SP can’t show up for you when you’re not showing up for your most vulnerable inner parts (aka your inner child.)

• A disembodied state is unattractive. If you have struggled with C-PTSD and you are in the habit of dissociating often, make it a priority to work on that…

Meditation can help with dissociation (doing Joe Dispenza’s long – 45 or 60 mins – guided meditations daily can help.) Therapies like body-centred psychotherapy, Hakomi and somatic experiencing will also help with dissociation.

The kind of self-concept work mentioned above will make you more beautiful and attractive to SP and everyone else. It will also remove the attachment to them and make it easier for the SP manifestation to come in, precisely because you’re less attached.

And you’ll know when you have done enough self-concept work when you don’t feel as attached to SP anymore (you might not even want them by the time you’re done with this process), and you feel really good about yourself and good in your life in general.

I’ve got a story for you on the importance of self-love, self-concept and maintaining a lovely energetic state.

A reader of mine who is manifesting an SP and has a long-time preoccupation with looks suggested he can’t manifest an SP because of his looks.

I told him the following story to illustrate that manifesting an SP isn’t about looks. All circumstances, including looks, are irrelevant. The only thing that matters is self-concept and your energy field (which is the energetic manifestation of self-concept and how well you’re taking care of yourself).

I am also telling this story in this article because it illustrates the importance of self-concept and self-love work.

I’ve had a lot of trauma in my past and have embodied a variety of states at different times. I’ve had times when I’ve been all dolled up to go out and looking really good, and all heads turn to look at me when I walk into a room and people fall all over themselves to talk to me. The times when that happens is when I am embodying a beautiful state, feeling good about myself and life, and have had several weeks of doing my self-concept work, meditations and self-love.

I’ve also had times where I’m all dolled up in exactly the same way and looking great, and no-one looks at me and I’m invisible, and I don’t feel welcomed in the space I’m going into, to the point where I feel rejected. That happens when I’m embodying an undesirable state and alienated from the Divine energy within me, usually if something bad has happened to me, that affects how I feel about myself and I’m knocked off centre.

In both situations, I look the same. But the difference between the two experiences is like night and day. I’m carrying myself differently unconsciously, my lack of confidence in that moment is shining through and quite simply, my energy is telling people not to look at me so people can’t see me.

If you have a high self-concept and you feel worthy, and you’re not bogged down by the past, your energy field will be beautiful and other people will notice you and find you attractive, including your SP (regardless of how you look!)

If you have a poor self-concept, feel unworthy or your energy is disturbed by something such as a trauma and/or you’re dissociated, your energy field will not be beautiful and you won’t be as attractive to SP.

5. Stop the energetic chasing

SP receives your every thought about them and yourself, on an unconscious level. The thoughts they’re having about you unconsciously create their feelings about you, and these thoughts come from what you’re thinking, feeling and saying about them.

When you’re thinking about them all day, affirming for them, or visualising an outcome with them, energetically you’re keeping them company to some degree. They will feel your energy, most likely on a subconscious level. If you’re doing this a lot, they won’t miss you as much; they may feel quite pressured, and if your self-concept is low, they will also feel repelled because you won’t leave them alone and your energy doesn’t feel that great.

If you’re a category 2 SP manifester, it’s much better to raise your self-concept and self-love first. Then and only then, in my opinion, should you affirm and visualise for SP.

While we’re on the topic of energetic chasing, in my opinion, many of the people who teach SP manifesting have it all wrong. This is something I have concluded based on my own journey with SP manifesting, and in helping others.

Many of the people who are wanting to manifest an SP are trying to GET something in the outside world, by focusing on it in their internal world. The average SP manifester is affirming or visualising for their SP while remaining in a place of lack and sometimes obsession. That manifester feels that if their SP just came back, they would be OK and have what they want.

The problem with this is that the essence of Neville Goddard’s teachings is that you can have what you want in the external world, if you give it to yourself first.

You want love from SP.

You probably want attention from your SP.

Therefore, you have to find love on the inside. You have to put yourself into a state of love. You have to attend to yourself.

If you’re going to manifest or attract your SP back, you need to change your state and who you are being. Right now, if you’re an SP manifester, you aren’t in the right state to attract your person back. You’re not being a happily partnered person who is secure in their relationship and feeling loved. Most SP manifesters are in a state of dependency on their SP. That SP is the source of love, attention, validation, or whatever.

How do you know if you are in a state of dependency on SP? Here are some signs:

• You often think about them throughout the day
• You really, really want them to come back
• You can’t imagine your life without them
• You are doing SATs and affirmations to get them back, and your visualisations revolve around SP
• You spend a lot of time watching YouTube videos and content geared towards getting them back
• You obsessively read SP manifesting success stories
• You are checking the 3D…waiting for a text message or a phone call
• You are messing with the 3D – trying to find ways to give your SP an opportunity to see you or notice you
• You’re looking at their social media
• You’re consulting psychics to find out if your person is going to come back
• You’re watching Tarot Youtube readings to see whether they are going to come back
• You read their horoscope to see what is coming up for them and whether they are going to come back
• Them leaving you or you being rejected by them traumatised you
• You’re in a state of limerence
• They are the solution to your loneliness
• You don’t feel great about yourself or your life, and deep down you feel this person coming back would solve certain problems for you and make you feel OK.

If you said yes to 2 or more of the above, you’re in a state of dependency on your SP.

But you cannot attract someone back into a healthy relationship from that state. To attract someone back and be attractive to that person, you need to be in a state of love and emotional security. You need to feel loved and think loving thoughts. You need to know that you are love. You also need not to depend on your person for your emotional security or love. If you’re manifesting for a person to give you that emotional security, you will fail to have a healthy relationship with them.

Love is not dependency. It’s not obsession. It’s not manifesting someone to be obsessed with us, either.

Healthy and long-lasting relationships do not arise from that place.

Something interesting to note is that the teachers in the SP community who teach others how to have an SP who is obsessed with them and focus on manifesting obsessive love and being worshipped and getting “princess treatment”, have not been able to create a long-lasting relationship with an SP themselves.

The SP teachers who are successful themselves are those who live in a state of love.

Healthy and long-lasting relationships arise in your 3D experience because you are in a state of love and you give the other person freedom to not be your source of love, validation and attention. That’s when relationships flourish and paradoxically, when you end up feeling loved by your SP.

This is why energetic chasing – thinking of someone a lot, affirming for them constantly, visualising for months or years on end, are a sign of a deeper problem – a dependency on your SP to be your source of love in this world.

They are not your source of love – you are (if you believe in the Law of Assumption). You create everything that arises in your world.

(If you believe in the Law of Attraction instead of the Law of Assumption, then God/Source is your source of love.)

Either way, love comes from within and is found within. It doesn’t come from your SP. Your SP can only reflect your current state, whether that is feeling loved and wanted, or unloved and unwanted.

So, unhook yourself from the idea that this person you want, is a source of anything for you. Stop depending on them and needing them. Instead, learn to enter lovely states at will – states of love, of freedom, of fulfilment. Then you will no longer need them to come back. And that’s when the SP comes back because you’ve stopped energetically harassing them and repelling them with your need.

You can learn to enter these wonderful states at will by either affirming feelingly or by doing SATS and visualising for all kinds of lovely things that you’d like to see in your 3D world. Visualise for wealth, abundance and freedom. Visualise for excellent health and the resolution of health issues, if you have any ailments. Write out what your dreams are in this life and visualise for those (but make sure that if you are dependent on SP at this stage, don’t include anything connected to SP in your SATS – you need to lose the obsession first). Use my SATS method explained in the article linked above to bring the positive energies you’re seeking into your body and energy field.

This is the God’s honest truth that hardly any SP teachers out there will tell you, simply because either they haven’t realised, or they realised but they don’t care because your obsession is making them money. Your energetic chasing and obsession are driving your SP away. You need to let that go. 

You can also find more food for thought on this concept of SP “energetic chasing” here.

Often people reject this concept initially because they’re dependent on their SP but don’t want to give that dependency up. They refuse to accept it as a possibility until they’ve burned themselves out on months of SP manifesting and they’re ready to give up. I’ve been there. If you’re rejecting this concept and feeling some resistance towards what I’m saying, why not bookmark this article and come back to it in a few months, to see if it might have value for you later.

6. Put the focus on other areas of life, too

When you’re focusing too much on your SP, you’re abandoning yourself.

Why are you so focused on someone who hasn’t chosen you?

The answer to that is: low self-concept.

I’m not saying that from a place of judgment (I say it from a place of understanding because I had a poor self-concept when it came to love for much of my adult life.)

But please go back to not only focusing on your self-concept but also on your own life, if you feel it is lacking in general.

If you’re unhappy with some area of your life, work on that, too.

Some SP manifestors are not happy in their lives overall and they’re looking to SP to make it better.

• If you’re lonely, manifest friends.
• If you have health problems, focus on health.
• If you’re unhappy in your job or broke, focus on a new job and money.

This will also lift your self-concept in other areas and will mean you have a life you enjoy when SP comes back.

7. Collect self concept affirmations and dowse on which ones to use, and for how long

Instructions on that here.

How long does self concept work take if you’re a category 2 manifestor?

Sometimes it takes a few months or many months of daily work, especially if you had a traumatic childhood.

Feel free to skip it, but in that situation you either won’t manifest your SP or you will, but they will leave you. Or you will get them back and it will become a toxic relationship.

So, in summary for category 2 people:

This work is not about getting an SP even when you are trying to get an SP — it’s about changing yourself by remembering who you are, loving yourself and embodying that in your state. The SP shows up as a side effect of that.

If you’re a category 2 manifestor, I’d say do 100% or 95% self concept work and no SP manifesting or only 5% of your work should be SP affirmations/visualisations. Personally I wouldn’t even do 5% SP manifesting…I’d completely leave the SP alone.

Then come back to SP manifesting when you have experienced a real shift in your self-concept and you have revised your life, any failed past relationships and everything that didn’t go to plan with SP.

Letting SP go like this is so powerful. It constitutes removing your energy from them, and then once your self concept improves, they feel it and start to miss you and see your value.

Category 1 people

If you’re a category 1 SP manifester:

Look at point 5 above, where I talk about energetic chasing and obsession with an SP. If you have any degree of emotional dependency on SP, do not spend all your creative energy manifesting for SP, instead focus at least 75 + % on improving your self-concept and getting into a state of love on a daily basis.

For the 25% SP work:

Do SATs which is a scene for being with your SP. Affirm for the relationship, feelingly or robotically.

Also, write a list of how you want your SP to show up for you, and then affirm for that.

Look at the reason why the relationship ended in the first place, turn that around and affirm for that (also remember to revise your past interactions with SP that didn’t go as you wanted, as well as any failed past relationships.)

For example, if your relationship ended because your SP moved across the country, say to yourself:

SP doesn’t want to live without me

SP wants to commit to me

We are meant to be together and SP is realising that.

(This is also the work that category 2 manifesters can do, once they have done extensive self concept work, no longer feel the strong desire for SP and start feeling really good about themselves and their life.)

Don’t do this long term – only do it until you know 100% that you have reached the Sabbath and it is done, then remove your energy from SP so they have a chance to miss you. Once you reach the Sabbath with your desire, you are ‘pregnant’ (as Neville Goddard put it) with that desire, and all you need to do is wait for it to gestate, and ensure you don’t come out of the Sabbath.

Also remember to keep a mental diet throughout.

Here are 2 articles on mental diet that you should read:

• Neville Goddard — Mental Diet
• What Are You Consuming? — Mental Diet Part 2

If you’re a category 1 manifester but you have no dependency on SP to be your source of love, have at it with the SP affirmations and visualisations but also make sure you do 20-30% self-concept work (see the recommendations above and choose the ones that resonate with you) and the rest should be SP manifesting.

If you don’t fit completely into category 1 or 2, but you’re somewhere in between…

You’re category 3 and you should combine category 2 self-concept work with category 1 SP manifesting work.

For example, do 50-70% self-concept work and 30-50% SP manifesting work. The more category 2 features you resonated with and adverse childhood experiences you experienced…(here’s a quiz to find out) the more you should be focusing on self-concept and taking the focus off SP.

If you had bad childhood experiences or bad past relationships as a category 3 person, you should also explore your subconscious unfavourable stories about yourself and love, and affirm against them, and you should revise your past.

Again, take into account the very important point #5 about energetic chasing – this applies to everyone who is manifesting an SP.

Phew. That’s it. I hope you found this post helpful and not too overwhelming. It contains probably weeks or months of inner work so don’t feel like you have to do it all in one day.